Biggest Cliffhanger: With one phrase — “Alicia is leaving the firm with Cary, and she’s taking our top clients” — THE GOOD WIFE left us wanting to jump in a Tardis and transport ourselves through time a week to find out what would happen next.
Proof Everything Old Is New Again: NBC announced plans to reboot MURDER, SHE WROTE. Dare we hope ABC might also bring back HART TO HART?
Most Instantaneous Reward: Only days after ABC ordered additional episodes of SUPER FUN NIGHT came news that the show’s ratings had, for the first time since it’s premiered, seen an uptick.
Craziest Hour: This week’s episode of AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN featured two murders, incest and bestiality. And that ain’t even counting all the heads that no doubt exploded over at the Parents Television Council!
Most Highly Anticipated Family Reunion: Only days after THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL announced that Thorsten Kaye would be taking over the role of Ridge Forrester came word that Jacqueline MacInnes Wood’s Steffy was also heading back to the fashion-based sudser.
Funnest Gathering: Cassadine Island was the place to be when GENERAL HOSPITAL put supervillains Jerry, Obrecht and Faison in one room so they could exchange threats and quips with Nikolas, Robin and Britt.
Coolest Christmas Gift: During the holiday season, CBS will air two colorized I LOVE LUCY’s, including the infamous grape-stomping episode. In preparation, we’ve already begun drinking wine.
Why We’re Channeling Rupaul: It was announced that Paul Feig, creator of FREAKS & GEEKS, will be bringing Charlie Brown and the gang to the big screen. In the words of our favorite drag queen, “Don’t f*** it up!”
Awesomest ”Crossover”: Corbin Bleu and his DANCING WITH THE STARS partner did a Viennese waltz (with him in full Dothraki garb) to the opening theme from GAME OF THRONES.
Best Reaction: After Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got engaged, THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL scribe Michele Val Jean perfectly summed up our reaction by tweeting, “Must rethink who I follow. WAY too much #KimyeEngaged on my timeline. #dontcare #goaway.”
Oddest Trend: Who could have predicted the week would feature two stories about controversial tombstones? Yet not long after it was reported that a SpongeBob-inspired tombstone was ordered removed from one graveyard came word that the one honoring Walter White in Albuquerque was being relocated from a cemetery to a steak house!
Most Promising Premise: MTV is doing a series called FINDING CARTER in which a teen finds out that her mother actually abducted her as a child.
Least Surprising Reveal: Remember last week we mentioned the blind item indicating an ENTOURAGE cast member’s pay demands were standing between you and a big-screen adaptation of the series? Reportedly, the salary in question is that of Jeremy Piven.
Best Case Of Mistaken Identity: Overheard conversations and hazy flashbacks let DAYS OF OUR LIVES’ Father Eric to the very wrong conclusion that Nicole was the person who had drugged and raped him!
Lamest Spokesperson: Johnny Weir said that he will not speak out against Russia’s outrageous anti-gay laws while there to help cover the Winter Olympics for NBC, declaring it an inappropriate place for political statements. Because, you know, one wouldn’t want to take a socially responsible stand in front of an international audience of millions.
Least Scandalous Scandal: It was reported that an ABC employee was behind the popular Scandal411 Twitter account. Apparently, the network has hired Olivia Pope to figure out if it’s true and toss the accused blogger into the deep, dark hole recently vacated by Jake Ballard.
Silliest Story: E! reported that Naya Rivera would love to see her GLEE character spun-off into her own series. In related news, every actor to ever appear on a show featuring an ensemble cast confirmed that they, too, would love to have their own show.
Saddest Renewal: While quality shows hang on by a thread, it was announced that TMZ LIVE will be on the airwaves through 2017. Sigh.