Best Power Play: Perhaps taking a page from the master manipulators who populate the series, execs at HOUSE OF CARDS threatened to pack up their toys and go elsewhere if Maryland didn’t offer them some major tax credits.
The Final Frontier: After five seasons of dealing with witches, warlocks, werewolves, and, of course, bloodsuckers, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES will finally introduce a gay character.
Best Showstopper: THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Katie fainted at the wedding of would-be love Ridge to her sister, Brooke. Or so it seemed until she admitted to faking the medical mishap in order to prevent the pair from saying “I do!”
Coolest Product: DALLAS fans can now buy a bottle of J.R. Ewing’s private stock of bourbon. Just make sure to hide it from Sue Ellen!
The T.M.I. Moment Of The Week: Barbara Walters admitted on THE VIEW that she doesn’t have a vibrator. Go ahead, try and get that image out of your head.
Best Admission: Unable to stop kissing Juan Pablo — and yet realizing that they had little in common — THE BACHELOR’s Sharleen said, “I wish I was a little dumber.” Proving she’s the smartest woman on the show, she then eliminated herself from the competition.
Least Upsetting Omission: Arsenio Hall was ticked at having been left out of Brian Williams’ piece about Jimmy Fallon’s late-night competition. Of course, most people didn’t even notice, given that they don’t realize Hall still has a show.
Best Collision Of Worlds: Adam Brody confirmed that he and Leighton Meester tied the knot. That’s right… Seth Cohen landed Blair Waldorf.
Oddest Olympic Story: NBC opened a top-secret Starbucks in Sochi… and then filled it with security guards to prevent NBC staffers from appearing on camera with coffee from a non-sponsor. Seriously.
Reason To Start Weeping: HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER filmed its final scene this week.
Best Showdown: Watching the various GIRLS spout some painful truths during their beach trip was awkward… in the best way possible.
Fishiest Visitor: The cast and crew of SHARKNADO 2 invaded Times Square to film scenes for the campy sequel.
Why Badly-Coiffed Actors Are Excited: Now that Spike TV is set to turn “The War At The Shore: Donald Trump, Steve Wynn & The Epic Battle To Save Atlantic City” into a TV-movie, the race is on to see who’ll play the man beneath the notoriously bad hair.
Happiest News Regarding Men Wearing Dresses: Before the first episode of RuPAUL’S DRAG RACE’s sixth season has even aired, it’s already been greenlit for a seventh!