REVENGE! THE BACHELOR! SCANDAL! TRUE DETECTIVE! SVU! GENERAL HOSPITAL! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

BACHELOR Juan Pablo

Biggest Bully: Juan Pablo may have been something of an ass, but host Chris Harrison was rude, belligerent and downright dismissive of THE BACHELOR when he refused to declare that he was in love with last lady standing Nikki.

Smartest Decision: Although A&E’s THOSE WHO KILL launched to terrible numbers, the network realized the show has potential and promised to re-launch it later this year.

Oddest Decision: NBC decided to ditch plans to remake THE MONEY PIT. Not because the 1986 movie wasn’t that great to begin with, but because they had difficulty casting the parts originally played by Tom Hanks and Shelly Long. Who knew there was a shortage of actors in Hollywood?

Most Ironic Ratings: Although two years ago, Oprah Winfrey told soap fans she wasn’t interested in saving ALL MY CHILDREN and ONE LIFE TO LIVE because the the genre was dying, sudsy drama THE HAVES & HAVE NOTS just got her struggling network it’s highest ratings ever.

Proof That Nothing Changes: Think that we as a nation have grown up since the Janet Jackson “nipplegate” incident? Not according to the FCC, which received complaints about a wide variety of issues pertaining to the Super Bowl half-time show, including the exposed nipples of the male lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Most Ridiculous Claim: Lena Dunham told Glamour magazine that she just might stop acting once GIRLS has run its course. Something tells us that’ll last about as long as our last diet, which ended about 14 hours after it began.

Quickest Shutdown: Although Zac Effron said he and his fellow HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL stars were “all thinking about” doing a reunion flick, the folks at Disney said there were no plans for any such movie.

Best Battle Of The CrayCrays: THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Quinn and Aly butted heads on a bridge. The most shocking thing of all, given this show’s history? That neither wound up falling over the edge!

Smartest Network: Folks who consider summer rerun season may want to avoid TNT, which will be airing original episodes of at least 10 shows this summer!

Hashtag Of The Week: SCANDAL had all of Twitter asking #WhoGotShot? (Our money is on James!)

Most Ado About Pretty Much Nothing: Ridiculous headbutts, incest, mysterious portals, unanswered questions… TRUE DETECTIVE was either — depending on who you talk to — the greatest series since THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW or a convoluted piece of crap more frustrating than Season 2 of TWIN PEAKS.

Most Out Of Line Column: Vanity Fair‘s Richard Lawson took folks who “mooch” by using the HBO GO passwords of others to task for complaining when the site crashed due to user demand during the finale of TRUE DETECTIVE. What Lawson failed to take into account or even mention was the fact that only a few months ago, the net’s CEO, Richard Plepler, encouraged account sharing, telling Buzzfeed it was a “terrific marketing vehicle for the next generation of viewers.”

Best Fake Out: LAW & ORDER SVU made it look as if Detective Rollins had sunk to a new low — as in on her knees in front of a baddie — before revealing that he was actually an undercover cop and the only thing she’d nearly blown was his cover!

Most Premature Pick-Up: Lionsgate TV is planning a reality show that will revolve around attempts to put people on Mars… in 2024.

Craziest Reveal: Hold up… the ex-wife of REVENGE’s Conrad is Jack’s mama? Didn’t see that one coming!

Best Calling Out: Chelsea Handler summed it up how many feel by telling Piers Morgan he was a terrible interviewer with a short-attention span. There may have been more, but we kinda stopped listening.

Coolest Timing: THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’s Ted Shackelford (Jeffrey) returned to Genoa City on the same day that GENERAL HOSPITAL introduced Donna Mills as Madeline. Which means that former KNOTS LANDING pair Abby and Gary hit our screens the same day!

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