Least Leaked Spoiler: THE GOOD WIFE proved that even in this day and age, it is possible to keep a major plot twist a secret and catch the masses off guard.
Most In Need Of Olivia Pope’s Help: SCANDAL’s Columbus Short (Harrison) was arrested following a bar brawl and could face up to four years behind bars for felony assault.
Worst Use Of The Twitter Machine: “I am willing to show #Asian community I care by introducing the Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensativity To Orientals or Whatever.” Apparently, THE COLBERT REPORT’s feed is handled by a frat boy with the social media savvy of a 10-year-old.
Showkiller Alert: With the axing of MIND GAMES, Christian Slater has landed himself on the toxic list. As if that weren’t bad enough, the void left by his show’s cancellation will be filled by CELEBRITY WIFE SWAP. Because apparently, we have to be punished for his inability to launch a show.
Least Impressive Space: After weeks of hearing about Terminus, it turned out THE WALKING DEAD destination was basically an outdoor Pottery Barn showroom.
Weirdest Protest: Jerry Springer has agreed to stop using the word “tranny” after some were ticked off by an episode titled “Trannies Twerk It Out.” But… seriously? You’re upset about the use of the word tranny? Not… you know… everything else about the worst show on television?
Here Comes The Spin-Off: Ratings for NCIS’ New Orleans-set episode were up, so you can bet next season will see the home of Mardi Gras and voodoo get its very own offshoot.
Shortest Relationship: Wait… seriously? NEW GIRL’s Nick and Jess broke up already?
Worst Idea Ever: DUCK DYNASTY’s Willie Robertson offered to take President Obama hunting. Because a hick with a gun and a black man he has issues with… what could possibly go wrong?
Rudest Audience: Between Charlotte’s buzzing phone, Victoria’s loud accusations and Emily’s dramatic exit, we’re surprised the opera singer on stage during this week’s REVENGE didn’t look at them and say, “No, no, go ahead… clearly, y’all’s drama is more important than my little tune!”
Best Decision: With a little help from her cray-cray cousin Aly, THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Hope decided not to tarnish her image by updating mom Brooke’s lingerie line.
Tackiest Concept: Fox — the folks who gave us WHO WANTS TO MARRY A MILLIONAIRE? — is flying single ladies to a British estate so they can compete on I WANNA MARRY HARRY. That’s right, they’ll be vying for the hand of Prince Harry… or at least, his double. Which begs the question… where did they find women dumb enough to believe that the Prince Harry would turn to a reality show for romance?
Best Party: Given that it took place in a spooky castle with a tragic history, it’s not surprising that the engagement party of GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Britt and Nikolas didn’t go exactly as planned. Because, you know, who can plan for a babynapping, a guest being shoved off a parapet and the kind of epic blow-ups that usually only happen when supposedly real housewives get together?
Most Overdue Return: Three decades after being banned by Johnny Carson, Joan Rivers made her return to THE TONIGHT SHOW. Same face, same jokes, different dress… we think.
Biggest Loss Of Snark: NBC Universal announced it would be shuttering Television Without Pity, There weren’t enough emoticons on the internet to express the sadness felt by fans.
Best Synergy: THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS did a great job of incorporating March Madness into scenes, especially when Hilary came up with a method of picking winners based on the notion of mascots taking one another on!
Most Responsible Response: The University of Iowa refused to grant GIRLS permission to film on its campus, opting to put the education of their students above the disruption filming might bring. Finally, someone heard Helen Lovejoy’s plea, “Won’t someone think of the children?”
Best Mocking: THE DAILY SHOW’s Samantha Bee’s takedown of MSNBC’s MORNING JOE was as funny as it was dead-on.
Funniest Half Hour: MODERN FAMILY’s Vegas set episode was the kind of belly laugh-inducing farce not seen since the hey days of FRASIER.