modern family

Longest Build-Up: After five seasons of awkwardness between them, MODERN FAMILY’s Jay and his gay son, Mitchell, had a shocking confrontation which was as out of the blue as it was intense, not to mention painfully realistic.

Most Topical: Forget LAW & ORDER. By dealing with everything from bit coins to fake on-line reviews (and even the difficulty of turning on a television thanks to modern technology), THE GOOD WIFE has become the show that’s truly ripped from the headlines.

Best Comeuppance: The look on Conrad’s face when he realized that Emily’s latest REVENGE plot had exposed his secrets to the world was priceless.

Silliest Statement: During a face-off between the men and women of HELL’S KITCHEN, Gordon Ramsay declared the battle to be “closer than he expected” despite the fact that nearly every such competition in the history of the show has come down to a tie that is broken by the final dish.

Biggest Disappointment: Why, exactly, did ABC’s promo department feel the need to give away nearly every twist of RESURRECTION’s season finale? On the plus side, this week saw the show getting renewed for next season!

Funnest Event: Villains, tycoons and doctors hit the stage for GENERAL HOSPITAL’s 2014 Nurses Ball, and a good time was had by all.

Best Use Of A Prop: After finding out that her dad was involved with the woman who killed her mom, THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Aly went after Taylor… with an axe!

Most Comforting Return: Given the troubled times we live in, it’s kinda nice having 24’s Jack Bauer in our corner again!

Show We’re Already Missing: While we’d assumed that SUPER FUN NIGHT would bite the dust, we hoped SUBURGATORY might somehow survive. Sadly, the show wound up relegated to the big cul-de-sac in the sky.

Quote Of The Week: GREY’S ANATOMY pretty much had this one in the bag when a character declared, “We’ll take one magnetic butthole, please.”

Least Able To Comprehend Complex Thoughts: David and Jason Benham, whose HGTV show was axed after it was revealed they are vocal activists against gay marriage and abortion, said they were being punished for their views. Someone needs to explain to them that one can espouse any views one pleases… but nobody is under any obligation to reward said thoughts with a TV show.

Smartest Move: Having realized man can not live on HOUSEWIVES alone, Bravo ordered three new scripted shows, including RULES OF ATTRACTION, based on the Bret Easton Ellis novel.

Least Surprising Twist: Given that everyone in Salem had been wishing him dead for days, it wasn’t too shocking when DAYS OF OUR LIVES’ Nick wound up eating lead. But now, the real fun begins as we try to figure out who pulled the trigger!

Least Promising Future: THE TOMORROW PEOPLE became yesterdays news, STAR-CROSSED was grounded and the final entray of THE CARRIE DIARES was penned when The CW axed all three shows.

Worst Call: Over the objections of her mother, 48 HOURS will air the accidentally recorded final moments of a woman’s life, including her pleading that her killer not go through with it.

Most Premature Ending: COMEDY BANG! BANG! will air its series finale… five episodes into the 20-episode third season.

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