SURVIVOR! MISTRESSES! THE BACHELORETTE! GENERAL HOSPITAL! Y&R! BIG BROTHER! TRUE BLOOD! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Saddest News: SURVIVOR: BLOOD & WATER star Caleb Bankston, a conductor on the Alabama Warrior Railway, was crushed to death between 2 rail cars following a train derailment in Birmingham,

Most Calculated Move: Given how easy it was for various sites to dig up racist, homophobic comments made by BIG BROTHER contestant Caleb Reynolds, one has to assume that CBS either didn’t properly vet houseguests (despite last year’s controversy) or ignored what they found in an effort to garner exactly the same kind of buzz such revelations have produced in the past.

Best Performance: Only days after losing the Daytime Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor to former castmate Billy Miller (ex-Billy), THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ Doug Davidson gave the performance of a lifetime — and all but assured his win next year — as alter ego Paul dealt with the aftermath of a liver transplant, the anniversary of his son’s death and finding out he had a child he didn’t know about.

Easiest To Please: HELL’S KITCHEN celebrity diner Minnie Driver was downright thrilled when Gordon Ramsay jokingly told her to “F$^@ off!” after she offered a critique of the scallops.

Biggest Fiasco: In an attempt to bring in younger eyeballs, four “social media gurus” were hired to host the Daytime Emmys red carpet. What they got for their money was drug jokes, borderline racist remarks and an opportunity to prove whether or not it’s true that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Most Public Dis: In discussing why the six-week test of Kris Jenner’s chatfest, KRIS, bombed, network exec Frank Cicha told The Hollywood Reporter, “When the camera was on, she looked not just like a deer in the headlights, but like a deer that already got hit.” Ouch. True, but… ouch.

Best Scheme Team: THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Quinn and Deacon might as well have matching shirts reading “double” and “trouble”!

Tackiest Idea: Meredith Viera told Conan O’Brien that when her syndicated talk show launches later this year, it’ll include a segment called stall talk. “I’m in one stall of a bathroom,” she explained, “and my guest is in the next stall.” Because, you know, everybody loves chatting when doin’ their business.

Yet Another Reason To Swoon Over Ian Somerhalder: The hunky VAMPIRE DIARIES star testified before Congress this week on behalf of endangered animals. I bet he helped three old ladies cross the street after the hearings!

Most One-Sided Documentary: While HBO’s THE CASE AGAINST 8 was a fascinating look at the controversial lawsuit, it focused almost exclusively on the couples fight for the right to be married, largely ignoring the arguably more interesting opposition. Getting into the mindset of people so determined to deny rights to another group of citizens is potentially fascinating stuff.

Least Missed: So Luke Grimes left TRUE BLOOD rather than make out with another guy? That’s okay, because GENERAL HOSPITAL and BUNHEADS alum Nathan Parsons has already won over fans. And I’m sure Grimes will go on to have a long, healthy career… making vids with fellow homophobe Kirk Cameron, perhaps!

Most Unconventional Use Of Power Point: GENERAL HOSPITAL’s wicked Dr. Obrecht put together a presentation designed to help devious daughter Britt win back the heart of her literal prince charming, Nikolas.

Worst Success Rate: Apparently, 60 percent of restaurants featured on the now axed KITCHEN NIGHTMARES wound up going under.

Silliest Lawsuit: Ajanaffy Njewadda and her husband are suing New York City’s MTA, Showtime and the city because she was so “startled, shocked and overwhelmed” by a DEXTER ad painted on the steps at Grand Central Station that she fell and broke her ankle. Lady, you’re from the Bronx. If you don’t see scarier things every dang day, you’re either blind (in which case, the ad couldn’t have scared you) or a hermit.

Latest Nail In The Coffin Of The News Industry: Deadline reported that once Diane Sawyer leaves WORLD NEWS TONIGHT, the show will, according to their source, “be a little more like GOOD MORNING AMERICA.” That sound you heard? Edward R. Murrow rolling over in his grave.

Why This May Be My Last Column: A new study suggested “participants reporting three or more hours a day of television viewing had a twofold higher risk of mortality than those reporting less than one hour a day.” Given that I watch, on average… doing the math… carry the 1… a zillion hours of TV a day, it seems likely that I’ll be dead by the time you finish reading this.

Shortest Stint: In the wake of Sherri Shepherd being let go, Jenny McCarthy confirmed that she’s the latest to give up her chair with a VIEW, kicking off what’s sure to be endless speculation about who will take her place. Just to get this out of the way… no, it will not be me, stop begging!

Worst Trend: Gary Oldman became the latest celeb to go on a talk show and apologize for inappropriate remarks. Hey, guys? Rather than saying, after the fact, “I should have known better,” how about actually being better people.

Biggest Waste Of Time: THE BACHELORETTE advertised the heck out of the fact that Andi was having the men take a lie detector test. Then, once she had the results in hand, she ripped them up. (On the plus side, this did lead to one of the funniest outtakes of the season in which all of the men, being questioned by a dude with a thick accent, thought he was asking if they had ever “fart” in public… as opposed to “fought.)

Most Likely To Be Anywhere You Look: Terry Crews — star of BROOKLYN NINE-NINE, host of WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE and the voice of more animated characters than you’d believe — will host the Television Critics’ Awards next month.

Best Use Of A Hunk: After his boring and ultimately pointless run on REVENGE, Justin Hartley was finally showcased as the funny, sexy guy he is during his first episode as Scott, the new love interest for MISTRESSES’ Joss.

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