MISTRESSES! MASTERS OF SEX! DALLAS! JOAN RIVERS! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Least Expected Connection: Just when we were convinced that MASTERS OF SEX was going to reveal that Bill and his mysterious new patient had once been lovers, we found out they were actually secret siblings!

Most Undramatic Drama: After deciding to exit BACHELOR IN PARADISE rather than have America see him not get a rose, bad boy Jesse was called out by Lacy, Michelle and Christy in what had to have been the least confrontational confrontation in recent memory.

Tackiest Move: Despite her being one of their own stars, E! claimed “sources” were telling them that Joan Rivers was on the road to recovery… only to have her daughter inform folks that her mom is, in fact, on life support. Second runner-up: The New York Times, which initially listed Rivers’ date of death as “1914.”

Most Classic Cliffhanger: A runaway bride. An illicit pairing about to be discovered. A mysterious medical malady. MISTRESSES’ second season finale had all the bases covered. Of course, the biggest cliffhanger of all is whether or not the show will be renewed so that these endings can be resolved!

Most Ironic Statement: As Brittany Murphy’s dad trash-talked Lifetime’s movie about her life to anyone who’d listen, Amanda Fuller, who portrays the late actress, made some head-scratching comments to TheTVPage.com. “If he really respected his daughter’s memory,” the clueless young woman said, “then I don’t know if he would be trying to make all this controversy about it. Let her rest in peace.” You know, the way she and the folks behind the exploitative flick are doing.

Best New Rivalry: THE BOLD & THE BEAUTY’s Ivy had the nerve to tell Hope that she is not, contrary to her own belief, the center of the universe. And it was fantastic!

Worst Timing: Even as terrorists beheaded another journalist, the SLEEPY HOLLOW publicity department promoted the Season 1 DVD release with a series of E-cards and the Twitter hashtag #HeadlessDay. The show’s peeps later apologized, acknowledging that “had we have known this information prior, we would have never released the alert and realize it’s in poor taste.”

Sweetest Reveal: We’re not sure whether it was finding out that DALLAS’ Bum painted JR’s portrait or his touching story about JR’s eyebrows, but darned if the lug didn’t have us weeping by the time his chat with Sue Ellen was over!

Best Expansion: Talk about filler! Fox is planning to turn Carrie Underwood’s tune “Two Black Cadillacs” into a six hour mini-series.

Dumbest Move: UTOPIA resident Andrea Cox got the boot for smuggling in a smartphone in direct violation of her contract.

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