This week on we start off with a high-speed chase, as well as some really annoying and stupid car thieves. Plus, Vega uses Jane’s cup and saucer. Here are your Mentalist Top Five Moments!
It would seem a good idea that after you’ve stolen a flashy, expensive car, you’d want to stay under the radar and try to drive quietly to a side street. I guess Marie’s boyfriend/boss, Cole, didn’t give her the 411, so instead she yells “WHOO!” and races through the streets while running red lights. Someone didn’t take car thievery 101.
Add to that, Marie is mouthing off and giving attitude to Cho and Abbott, so she can take a hike. Cole’s theft ring crosses state lines, which makes it an FBI case, if you were wondering.
Meanwhile, Cole runs to meet his compatriots and high five them for a job well done. He apparently missed the part where Marie was hauled in. The partners are worried Marie will talk, but she’s even more stupid than I originally thought. She’s willing to be labeled a co-conspirator and do fifty-sixty years for this guy. I’m sure he’s worth it. She says she’ll go to hell for him, so whatever with jail and begs to be locked up. They oblige. I’m just happy her smug face is off my screen.
According to Abbott and Cho, they’re going to Plan B.
What is Plan B, you ask?
Lisbon goes to jail!
We’re introduced to Ms. Cass of the CIA. It was her idea to stick Lisbon in prison to get close to Marie. Ms. Cass and Abbott have a discussion I’m sure would have taken place long before Abbott decided to put Lisbon behind jail walls. It seems our boy Cole is selling those luxury automobiles to people in the middle east, so maybe he’s helping terrorists, blah blah blah. And the reason they’re so hot to get Cole right this second now is because the NSA has picked up some chatter about something going down in the U.S. that involves one of Cole’s clients.
So there Lisbon sits in a car with Jane, and she’s got the orange jumpsuit on already. Jane gives her lying tips, because if there’s anyone who’s an expert in deception, it’s our boy Jane. He recommends she tell one big lie rather than a lot of little ones, and they have a cute disagreement about her being ticklish. Then he tells her to wear flip-flops in the shower, puts some handcuffs on her, and she’s off. I’d make some joke about Jane handcuffing her, but I’m trying to keep it clean.
I’ve reached my annoyed limit with Marie, but I wasn’t consulted for this.
I guess it’s Lisbon’s natural charm, because Marie instantly takes a liking to her. Lisbon’s jail name is McGregor, because Marie’s last name is Flanagan, so they’d have something in common. But then a switch is flipped when Lisbon asks if she can have the top bunk. Marie’s “That depends. You crazy enough to take it from me?” means McGregor can take her claustrophobia and shove it. I cannot wait for Marie to go.
Meanwhile, Jane spends a sleepless night on his favorite brown couch, worried about Lisbon, while Lisbon spends a sleepless night on the bottom bunk in a jail cell.
At one point, Lisbon hears a fight breaking out between Marie and another inmate. The guards are quite effectual with their tapping on the window and telling them to knock it off technique. Good job! So Lisbon just walks up to this really tough woman, tells the inmate to back off, and she does. Uh, okay.
Marie is her usual self and refuses to thank Lisbon.
Jane and Lisbon manage to have a flirty talk on the nice jail payphone. He gives her advice to befriend Marie. Lisbon rightly states how difficult that would be, but Jane guesses Marie is a tough cookie who likes to hide her emotions under a tough veneer, and he might have some experience with that. He tells her the way he got his tough cookie to lower her guard was to lower his. Let’s see if it works…
Surprise, surprise, it does. Lisbon basically tells the story about her and Jane, even using his real name. How he’s a hustler, which Marie thinks is cool. Lisbon talks about how she couldn’t admit her feelings were changing, even to herself and even mentions what happened with Pike. She also expresses her worry about Patrick sticking around, which I think is also real.
Marie opens up and tells Lisbon about how they’re living out of a warehouse and eating gas station chimichangas. Cole was even able to steal cable from the no-tell motel down the block.
So between Jane figuring out the vicinity of the warehouse, plus these other landmarks, Wiley is able to narrow down which warehouse it is. Plus, it’s owned by a fake corporation. I did love how even Abbott forgets Jane isn’t magic, when he asked specifically which warehouse the bad guys were in.
When Jane mentions Abbott is wearing an expensive cologne, I worry at first he may be thinking of cheating on Mrs. Abbott with Ms. Cass, but he tells Jane his wife is on a short list for a position at the Commerce Dept., and they’re going out to celebrate. That the job is in D.C. and the show is ending, tells me this is possible.
Rounding up the guy they left behind
We don’t see the raid on the warehouse, but I guess they decided not to do a stakeout and instead just pulled in one of Cole’s partners in crime. Wouldn’t this, like, make Cole run for the hills?
Anyway, at least they got the weak link in the operation who is still on my crap list after he made a crack about women drivers. But he immediately gives up all information without making a deal. Cole must have known this guy would sing like a canary if captured, and especially after seeing what comes later, it’s a mystery why they left the talkative one behind.
Anyway, he says Cole is in town and doesn’t know why he hasn’t split yet. This guy is so low on the totem pole, he doesn’t even have Cole’s burner number. But the other partner, Ronald Hendricks, does. He’s with Cole.
Abbott wants to pull Lisbon out of jail, since Marie serves no purpose now. But Jane realizes it’s Marie who’s keeping Cole in town. Jane’s solution to the problem as to how to flush out Cole? Bring Marie to him. And how to do that? Break her out of prison.
Jane discusses this with Lisbon, as well as cousin Ricky’s gallbladder surgery when Marie walks by. Lisbon thinks the “Let’s bust out of this joint” plan may be a little shaky. So Jane tells Lisbon that the breakout will be Marie’s idea.
Sure enough, Marie goes into another room to see Abbott. She’s told Abbott has allowed the Houston DA to file charges on her, which means she’ll be awaiting her trial at Mountain View, a Supermax. I’m guessing the guards there don’t lightly tap on the window to get you to settle down. In fact, it’s twenty-three hours a day in your cell with constant supervision.
And when Marie gives him more attitude about how he can’t, Abbott yells, “I CAN!” Whew! Is it getting hot in here? Because, DAYUM! What’s hilarious is that he seems to scare the bejeezus out of Marie, who actually jumps. This makes it a doubly happy moment for me. She’s got forty-eight hours.
Oh, no! Don’t make me feel bad for Marie. Now she’s crying. Aw, man. Why? They’ve taken my moment away.
She talks it over with Lisbon, who says she also got bad news. The DA is going after her. Twenty-five to life. She lightly suggests getting out of there, and Marie takes it a step further to a breakout. The FBI are hoping Cole will be the driver.
Lisbon is feeling so guilty at this point, because Marie totally trusts her.
Wiley and Vega listen to jailhouse calls, as Wiley tells her about his affair with Velma, aka “Big Vel,” the horse thief. They finally hit upon Marie, who talks about picking the kids up from camp. Wiley is psyched about planning a jail break.
There’s three ways to get past a wall. Over, under, and through. Jane points out that the jail was nice enough to put doors in the walls, so they should go with the through option.
Basically, Marie and Lisbon use a mop and a leaky bucket to cause a loud crash, which sends the guard away, so Lisbon and Marie can roll right into the guard station. Yes, the slot between the window and the desk is large enough for a grown person to roll through, no problem. And the one-guard system seems fool-proof. My guess is they might change some procedures after this little stunt.
Then the gals head to the employee lockers, where they get clothes and make it out of there with the cafeteria workers at shift change.
It all goes off without a hitch, but it’s Hendricks who picks them up. He goes to extend a friendly handshake to Lisbon, but Marie plays guard dog and says to keep his paws off, because she’s taken.
However, this part of the plan goes snafu rather quickly. When Hendricks pulls into a parking garage, the copter can no longer follow them, and Cho winds up a couple of cars behind them. Abbott decides to pursue on foot. I’m sure a man in a suit running at top speed won’t tip them off.
Hendricks tries to dump Lisbon when they switch cars, but she says she was promised a ride out of Texas, so they take her. And even though Abbott can still hear the tires screeching when he gets to the other car, he makes no move to look for the switched vehicle.
Since the parking garage is only three miles away, Jane brings along Vega to join the search.
The jailbirds stop at a gas station, and Lisbon and Marie go inside. Cole is in disguise, but why use the disguise if they’re going to make this humongous scene where Marie leaps into his arms and squeals?
Cole also wants to get rid of Lisbon, but Marie insists she’s good people. Then Cole says he’s got a helicopter waiting to whisk the gang away. Lisbon fakes needing to get aspirin in order to write a note to the gang, and here’s where things take a horrible and violent turn I did not see coming!
The cashier, like pretty much everyone everywhere, is texting on his phone. Cole asks what he’s typing, and the guy says it’s none of Cole’s business. Then Cole insists on seeing the phone as he reaches for it, and the cashier tells him to back off, or he’s calling the police. At that point, Cole just empties his gun into the guy. I mean, he shoots the guy six times, then for good measure, shoots him again after he’s hit the ground. Marie at first seems shocked and mortified, but then any goodwill she’s built up is lost, when she seems to get a rush from Cole killing the guy.
Poor, unarmed FBI agent Theresa, will be having nightmares about this forever. She has no choice but to play it cool. She goes over to the dead cashier to smear her shoe in his blood then leaves with the armed and crazy Cole and his equally crazy girlfriend.
Jane and Vega arrive at the scene. Jane immediately spots Lisbon’s footprint, as well as her note that reads, Call 911. I am with the which is all she got to write before all hell broke loose. Jane notices the footprint points in a certain direction and is convinced Lisbon has told them which way they are headed. Vega drops a few points in my eyes when she suggests Lisbon accidentally stepped in the blood. Jane is ready to go on the hunt, but rookie Vega is all “Protocol,” which just never impresses Jane at all. He is the poster child for anti-protocol. Vega gets extra-special points for leaving the car with the door open, and the keys in the ignition. Jane grabs a case of what looks like blue Gatorade, tosses it in the car, and takes off. The blue Gatorade bottles, it turns out, are breadcrumbs. He begins tossing them out of the car immediately. Vega calls Abbott.
Meanwhile, with the crazy bunch, Hendricks lays his gun next to his tools as he tunes up the copter before they leave. Lisbon takes her sweet time sidling up to the table and looking really suspicious while doing it. Paranoid Cole spots this sly maneuver and tells Hendricks to get his gun. Now Cole is holding a gun on Lisbon and questioning her. Oh, we’ve already seen how things turn out when Cole points a gun at you. Jane comes upon the scene, but without a weapon or any fighting skills, I’m curious as to how much help he can provide. He can’t even get any bars, since they’re out in a field somewhere.
The situation has gotten worse, because Crazy Marie is also holding a gun on Lisbon. They can’t leave her behind. She knows their plans.
Meanwhile, Jane has procured the rearview mirror from the car and steps out of hiding just as Marie once again says Lisbon is good people, only in this case it’s to tell Cole to kill her quickly. I think Marie needs a dictionary.
Jane bluffs that he’s FBI and holds up his wallet as he tells them to drop their weapons. I know Jane has taken risks in the past, but I can tell this is all about the love, baby. He says there are snipers all around them. Sure enough, Hendricks sees the glint from the mirror up in a tree and assumes it’s a sniper.
Marie keeps saying she knows Jane, and at first I think it’s from his former life, until she reminds us she saw him at the jail and knows he’s Lisbon’s boyfriend, the con artist. Cole shoots out the rearview mirror and correctly identifies it as such. Cole alternates between being stupid and smart. It’s weird.
But just as it’s all about to go down, the FBI does show up. Abbott hands Jane one of the blue Gatorades that he gives to Lisbon, who I think really needs it at this point.
Cole immediately offers up all of his contacts for a deal, because he thinks that’s all they want. Well, yeah, when you were just a car thief, I’m sure it was. Cho tries to get him to take the deal of giving up everything, so they don’t charge Marie as an accessory. But as I figured, Cole isn’t nearly as loyal to Marie as the other way around. He says he won’t use his bargaining chip on “that crazy bitch.” But as Cho points out, he shot an unarmed man for no reason, on camera, with an FBI agent as a witness. In this game of deal or no deal, with the death penalty as the prize for no deal, Cole looks into Cho’s serious face and makes the right decision.
Oh, no. One of the smugglers Cole gave up has a girlfriend. And that girlfriend is Erica Flynn, whom we last saw on a lounge chair in front of a green screen we were supposed to believe was a remote island locale. She was the one who outsmarted Jane by telling him she had info on his current case and needed a furlough from prison to help him. Then she managed to get away with a guy posing as a guard taking her to prison. I guess they needed to wrap up her story before the series ends. Patrick is not happy.