Hey, Bones fans. So, it’s the finale. I’ve been trying to put last week’s previews out of my mind, but it looks like I have to face up to it. Here are your Bones Top Five Moments!
Brennan Minus Angela Equals B&B Leaving the Jeffersonian?
It looks like Booth is back in his usual spot at the B&B homestead perusing a bunch of files Brennan left out. In keeping with this season’s theme, Brennan seems to think it’s the job that’s causing all of their problems. I’ve already pointed out how their entire relationship blossomed while they were partners, so I’ll skip over that to talk about how Brennan also thinks Booth should do a job switcheroo as well. Not surprisingly, Booth wants to keep things status quo at first but winds up thinking about it for a few hours and decides this is his last case.
He also tells Caroline about this being his last case, and she gets all torn up about it. Then Brennan tells Angela. And Cam finds out from overhearing her talk to Angela, which is so fair to her, the boss. So I guess Cam just gets to watch her whole team walk out the door. Hodgins and Angela gave her a week’s notice, and B&B have decided this is their last case. I’m sure it will be easy to replace these people with very specific specialties.
I resist the urge to bang my head against the wall as a name is brought up I hoped I wouldn’t hear again. But the Corpse of the Week is flayed and displayed in a way Pelant used to favor, so here we are. Again. Some more. And the flower in the mouth means “Be warned.”
And oh my gosh, they need to stop reminding us he stole 4.6 BILLION dollars from Hodgins in like five minutes, because each time they do, it sounds more ridiculous.
Corpse of the Week
Well, Pelant’s name only gets mentioned about ten times within the first ten minutes, so already I’m real happy. The good news is that the interns are Clark and Wendell, my two favorites. I guess Wendell is helping Hodgins pack up and heard it had to do with PELANT. And Angela came back because PELANT, and are you sensing a theme here?
The COTW is Franklin Holt, and he’s a computer consultant. Get it? Computer…never mind.
More good news. Caroline is back. So they seem to be making up for all of the Pelant nonsense with bringing in my favs for the finale. Let’s see if it evens out.
The other thing that’s brought up every five minutes is how Hodgins and Angela should be home packing. Do we have to go over the same territory each time someone is surprised to see them still there? We. Get. It. Pelant-related. Important. Move it along.
Aubrey and Booth go to Holt’s and find his girlfriend, Leelah Stawn, along with a bunch of computers and blood on the walls. But the hard drives were all cleaned out. And it turns out Holt got Owen, IT guy at Kevin Dunlop investments, fired, so he made threats against Holt online.
It seems Owen is a Pelant devotee. Nothing creepy about that. And while he would never kill anyone, he does blur the line at wiping out someone’s life savings. That’s super-cool. He also says that the break in the security Holt got him fired over was for a server the company wouldn’t allow him into, due to them handling money for dictators and scumbags. Aubrey thinks Owen got fired because he was getting too close, but he was fired because he wasn’t even looking at it…you know what? Never mind.
Long story short, the marks made on the body were the same as Pelant’s, but there were hesitation marks, like he knew he was doing something wrong. But, no. He just has this totally rare condition to where he didn’t have full range of motion.
Daisy shows up in time to find the DVD with all of the data in a Strange Brew case. And, oh, she also brings up how H and A aren’t gone yet. So then why did she come to say goodbye? I need to stop thinking.
For once Aubrey’s in your face method does some good. Booth is convinced Dunlop has Hodgins’ 4.6 bil. When an overconfident Dunlop swears they don’t have it, Aubrey lectures him on who his daddy was, how he stole billions from his clients, and that he was the one to take his own father down, so take a seat, buddy. He also doesn’t think the drug lords and dictators would like their money manager being hauled for murder. Dunlop tells them that when the body was found, that money disappeared. Again.
Owen and Holt were working together. Holt was paying Owen for passwords. He was going after the money. We’ve got Dumb and Dumber going on over here. As if to prove my point, Owen thinks that because Pelant’s money was dirty, he wasn’t hurting anyone by taking it.
Holt was a shut-in who ordered pizza every night, so the guy must have been in peak physical condition. He was murdered by the pizza delivery guy, except it wasn’t the pizza delivery guy. Someone cancelled the delivery and came to pick it up.
But it turns out it wasn’t a guy, it was a woman. Also, also, Leelah isn’t so much his girlfriend as not. And her hacker name is Mainframe. She’s in the wind but left a helpful newspaper article on Pelant. Sure, the hacker chick is cutting out newspaper articles. Fine. Angela finds out Holt put a digital tracking on her, so Aubrey and Booth are able to trail her to a train yard.
They get on the train, and even though she’s trapped in the last car, she manages to lock out Booth and taser Aubrey. But they do manage to collar her.
Get Rid of the Money
Let me make this quick. Angela finds all of Hodgins’ money, but THERE’S BLOOD ON IT! So he asks her to get rid of it, because it’s bad, bad money. At least he tells her to give it to charity. This money has been one of the dumbest plot lines they’ve ever had, and I hope this marks the end of it
And of course with them spending an hour talking about packing, Angela realizes Hodgins was just going to Paris for her, so they’re staying.
Booth and Brennan Leave
But not before Angela has one more surprise for Brennan. The video message from Pelant featured in the preview from last week. He talks about a digital afterlife and blah, blah, blah, but Brennan is with me when she shuts it off, because she’s also had way more than enough of that man. He won’t steal their new life that will be their old life come next season.
Bones has been renewed, so I seriously doubt B and B have left the Jeffersonian for good. Let’s take bets on how many episodes next season it takes for them to go back to their old jobs.