THE VAMPIRE DIARIES! 90210! GOSSIP GIRL! The CW Announces Early Pickups For 50% of Their Primetime Lineup

Good News: The CW has awarded early pickups to five of their most popular shows including AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL, THE VAMPIRE DIARIES, GOSSIP GIRL, 90210 and SUPERNATURAL. Bad News: For the cast and crew of HELLCATS, ONE TREE HILL and NIKITA, all of whom will be collectively holding their breath until the CW officially unveils their Fall 2011-12 schedule at their annual Mid-May UpFront in New York City.

Tonight’s TV Addictions: April 29, 2009

In honor of LOST’s momentous 100th episode, President Obama will finally reveal what the real deal is with that four toed statue! Okay, in all seriousness, this evening’s Presidential Press Conference has the President fielding reporters’ questions on his 100th day in the White House. But come’on, if there is one guy who would be able to get LOSTerminds Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse to explain things, would it not be the President of the United States….

LOST (9PM ABC, “A” in Canada)
…Instead, LOST fans will have to settle for Daniel Faraday, who in honor of the series’ 100th episode, will disclose what he knows about the island. So be sure to keep your fingers (and four toed statues) crossed that Faraday’s disclosure actually comes with some answers. Of course this being LOST, we wouldn’t recommend holding your breath…

… Especially if you’re a Matt Giraud fan, we’re just sayin, after last night’s IDOL, things are not looking good for him. That and Danny Gokey will get a glimpse into his future when Season 5 winner Taylor Hicks performs.

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Tonight’s TV Addictions: April 15, 2009

SCRUBS (8PM ABC, CityTV in Canada)
Wedding bells are ringing for The Janitor and Lady. Expect this to be one of the quirkier weddings of the season…

BETTER OFF TED (8:30PM ABC, CityTV in Canada)
If you’re a fan of this off-beat comedy, tune in while you can. Rumors are circulating that Ted will soon be dead (read: not better off) This week, Linda winds up accidentally ingesting an experimental drug that gives her a whole lotta energy… and comes with a few unexpected side effects.

Can’t we just name Adam the winner and call it a day?

LOST (9PM ABC, “A” in Canada)
Ben is kidnapped from the Dharma village’s infirmary, which seems to indicate that the hostiles have paid the townies a visit. Frankly, I’m just glad that we’ve stopped hop-scotching through time, at least for the moment.

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Tonight’s TV Addictions: April 8, 2009

SCRUBS (8PM ABC, CityTV in Canada)
Good News: The Janitor and Lady plan a fake wedding in the Bahamas in an effort to score gifts. Bad News: The plot backfires when all of the invitees accept.

LOST (9PM ABC, “A” in Canada)
Finally, one LOST mystery definitively solved: Ben is not Jewish. How else to explain the fact that he decided to call upon good Ol’ reliable smokey [monster] to atone for his sins on Passover rather than Yom Kippur!

Moments before one of the remaining IDOL contestants [cough*cough*Scott MacIntyre*cough] has their dreams crushed in front of an audience of millions, Kellie Pickler performes the song “Best Days of Your Life.” Awkward.

THE UNUSUALS (10PM ABC, GlobalTV in Canada)
Has LIFE ON MARS ruined New York City-set police dramas for eternity? By which we mean, has Det. Casey Shraeger (Amber Tamblyn) really transferred from vice to homicide? Or will she awaken in sixteen episodes only to discover that it was all a dream and that it turns out she’s actually locked inside a cryogenic chamber on her way to Mars. Stay tuned…

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Tonight’s TV Addictions: March 11, 2009

There’s something to be said about being the responsible person in a friendship. When Christine experiences it for the first time, what she has to say is… “Um, yeah, this isn’t for me.”

Gary and Allison disagree on what extracurriculoar activities Louise should be involved with. Which should come as no surprise considering the show isn’t called GARY MARRIED.

With apologies to Reuben Studdard’s painfully bland “Celebrate Me Home,” saying goodbye to IDOL hopefuls just a helluva lot easier thanks to former IDOL Carrie Underwood’s take no the Motley Crue ballad “Home Sweet Home.”

LIFE ON MARS (10PM ABC, Global in Canada)
Annie and Sam go undercover when a flight attendant is murdered. What’s more, the pair gets invited to a party by a bunch of swingers! And Gina Gershon guest stars! What more do you people want? Then again, the show’s been cancelled, so fine, I give up. Watch FLAVOR OF LOVE reruns on the TVGuide Network for all I care. But don’t come crying to me about the lack of decent programs out there!

All you need to know is right there in the title of tonight’s offering: “Uh Oh, Out Come The Skeletons!”

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Tonight’s TV Addictions: March 4, 2009

Sawyer and other island survivors perpetuate a lie to protect themselves from mistakes of the past. Yup, really hit the nail on the head when they said that even the episode descriptions are confusing.

WEST WING Alum Alert! Janel Moloney (aka. the artist formerly known as Donna Moss) guest stars as a political-science professor who may-or-may-not be tied to a group of student radicals.

At the risk of losing all credibility, we’re just gonna say it. We enjoyed TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES.

What happens in Vegas doesn’t stay in Vegas when Tyra selects the Top 13 contestants out of 34 would-be models and moves them to a loft in New York.

Most daring or most stupid? You decide when tonight’s installment of MOST DARING offers up tips on how to turn your school science project into a weapon. Really?


In a move that sent shockwaves throughout the modeling industry, Tyra Banks announced on Monday that AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL will be dropping the requirement that models be 5-foot-7 and under for the show’s upcoming 13th cycle.

“There have been top supermodels in the past that weren’t as tall as the industry demands, like fashion icon Kate Moss,” announced Banks in a press release. “So we are changing up TOP MODEL for cycle 13 and making it a year for the shorter model!”

Unfortunately, what 2009 won’t be is the year for the smarter model. With recently learning that one additional requirement was this close to making the cut until host Tyra Banks deemed it far too unrealistic a challenge for potential TOP MODEL contestants to conquer. That requirement, according to our not-at-all-made-up source, was for potential TOP MODEL contestants to successfully be able to locate Iraq on a map. Thus, avoiding any embarrassing public appearances such as this one.

Breaking News: The CW Renews [Almost] Everything!

That noise you just heard was the squee of three million or so SUPERNATURAL fangirls learning that their favorite Winchester brothers, alongside GOSSIP GIRL, ONE TREE HILL, 90210, AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL and SMALLVILLE have all been given early renewals for next season by The CW.

“As we continue to build The CW Network as a destination for young women, these six shows have clearly contributed to strengthening our schedule and our brand identity,” said The CW president Dawn Ostroff in a statement released to the media. “By securing these signature hits for next season, we’re furthering our commitment to deliver high-quality, original programming to our viewers, advertisers and affiliates.”

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Channel Surfing with C.T: GOSSIP GIRL, ONE TREE HILL, TOP MODEL & More!

Much like GOSSIP GIRL’s titular character, I’m back. (I’ll refrain from saying, “You know you love me” and signing off with XOXO, CT”… but it’ll be tough. Anyway, a million thanks to our pals at The CW for recognizing that Labor Day marks not only the last day of summer but, at least symbolicly, the first day of fall and launching their new season. What better way to kick things off then by watching Blair Waldorf play games with Chuck “Basstard” against gorgeous backgrounds. It wouldn’t be GG without very bad things happening at a very hip party. This time around, it was the White Party, where Dan’s hypocrisy left him wearing more cocktails than he consumed, Nate’s affair with a married women (how gorgeous did Madchen Amick look?) took a completely expected twist and Blair learned the true meaning of the words “Oh my Lord!” As guilty pleasures go, the season premiere was the equivalent of a Jackie Collins novel toted to the beach: By the time the tide’s gone out, you’ll have forgotten the details despite having enjoyed the ride while it lasted.

The faux flash-forward that kicked off the new season of ONE TREE HILL was the kind of thing that makes me realize just how much I underestimated this show in the past. Last year, I became a major fan, accepting that while the acting is sometimes laughably bad, there’s something undeniably addictive about this drama. How can I resist Brooke and her mom (the wonderfully bitchy Daphne Zuniga) trading zingers? Or hearing Skills tell Deb they should go public by saying to her son,, “Nate, look, I’m dating your mom. Sleeping with her. Doing all kinds of freaky stuff with her.” Heck, the show even made up for what I thought was one of last season’s bigger mistakes — the blink-and-you-missed-it resolution of the storyline involving Jamie’s nutty nanny — by bringing creepy Carrie back and making her Dan’s nasty nurse! The only thing not working for me? The lame Lucas/Peyton pairing. How incredibly predictable! Come on, wouldn’t it have been more interesting if Lucas had called Brooke? The chemistry between them — even in that brief scene that topped the episode — is far more incendiary than what passes for sparks where he and Peyton are concerned. But hey, they ain’t married yet, so there’s still hope!

How much do you wanna bet that when some DAILY SHOW staffer told Jon Stewart that McCain’s vice presidential choice had an married, knocked-up teenage daughter, the host thought he was being punked? And I’m not sure, but I’d be willing to bet that COUNTDOWN’s Keith Olbermann salivated at the news. I imagine that the folks over at FOX News immediately began working to spin the poor girl’s upcoming insta-marriage (just add shotgun!) as proof that “Republican family values” work. At this point, the Republicans should just name Larry Craig their Values Czar and be done with it.

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Channel Surfing with C.T.

When LOST rocks, it rocks. And last night… yup, the ship was definitely swayin’. Best moment of the episode? Sun earning her “pimp” card by telling her dastardly dad that she’d bought his company out from under him. In other news, the show did something I love and that too few programs have the ability to do these days: take a single basic storyline and divide it into several segments involving numerous characters and then build each individual plot to a cliffhanger. Will the boat explode? Will Ben sacrifice himself in order to help Locke become a hero? When the heck did Kate become such a great tracker? (Um, okay, let’s forget that last question… although it’s a valid one.)

Listen up, ’cause I’m only going to say this once: Thanks, you rapid worshippers of the Winchester boys, for using your powers for good by rallying to humble me into giving SUPERNATURAL a second look. If you hadn’t, I’d have missed a heck of a season, not to mention last night’s literally kick-ass finale. From the fantastic use of music (particularly Kansas’ “Carry On My Wayward Son”) to the fast-and-furious one-liners (my personal favorite? Dean referring to Ruby as “our slutty little Yoda”), this was a roller coaster of a ride made all the more emotional by the fact that you people got me to care about the Winchesters almost as much as they care for one another. Yes, the “Lillith in the suburbs” scenario was a little too reminiscent of one of my all-time favorite TWILIGHT ZONE episodes, but homages are one of the things this show does best. In fact, that final scene — with evil forces having gotten their “hooks” into Dean — reminded me of something right out of one of fav fright flicks, HELLRAISER. Yup, you fans totally reeled me into this show… heck, I’ve even kinda sorta maybe gotten used to that put-on voice Jensen uses.

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