THE GOOD: Thanks to an unusually stellar mix of sketches including timely nods to Christine O’Donnell, Katy Perry’s boobs, and the controversy surrounding the Mosque at Ground Zero, last night’s 36th SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE season premiere opened on an undeniable high note. The highlight of which — aside of course from host Amy Poehler reuniting with Seth Meyers on the Weekend Update Desk — was the much-needed addition of African American actor Jay Pharaoh, who delivered both hilarious and dead-on impersonations of both Will Smith and Chris Tucker. Also falling under the category of “good” was the show’s less-is-more approach that featured a bevy of sketches that actually left us wanting more, including “The Unwatchables,” Actor II Actor” and “Ground Zero Mosque.”

THE BAD: Despite cameos by Tina Fey, Jimmy Fallon, Maya Rudolph, Rachel Dratch and Justin Timberlake, Poehler’s real-life husband Will Arnett — whose new FOX show RUNNING WILDE could certainly have used the exposure — was mysteriously M.I.A. Worse still, we find ourselves forced to contemplate flip-flopping on our well-established anti-Armisen agenda, who generated big laughs as both Governor David Paterson and the slightly less-than-helpful advice expert in “Maternity Matters.”

THE UGLY: As expected, the always adorable Amy Poehler did a bang-up job in her first (of what will surely be many) outings as SNL host. Too bad her NBC show PARKS AND RECREATION — which has yet to be given a premiere date — won’t be benefiting from the added exposure. #CorporateSynergyFail

Good News: Amy Poehler will host the September 25th season premiere of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE. Bad News: Still without a premiere date following a phenomenal second season is Poehler’s actual day job, PARKS AND RECREATION, which according to a commitment phobic NBC is still only slated to premiere sometime “later this year.” [Source]

Good News: DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES creator Marc Cherry promises that he’s not doing another gimmicky natural disaster this year. Bad News: What he is doing, is another gimmicky character death! Revealing to TVGuide that, “My big cliffhanger right before we take our Christmas break will have to do with Paul Young. He has a plan for destroying the neighborhood. There will a shocking cliffhanger that effects everyone’s lives, and then right before February sweeps, we’re going to kill off one of our characters.” [Source]

Good News: Everybody’s favorite not-so-dynamic duo of Jeff and Lester are getting their very own CHUCK spinoff! Bad News: It’s web-only. Worse News: CHUCK PRESENTS – BUY HARD: THE JEFF AND LESTER STORY will only be available to US viewers on theWb.com. [Source]

With Halloween mere days away, this TV Addict thought now would be the perfect opportunity to talk about what scares us in the world of television. So without further ado, we present our Halloween Scare #1: An Amy Poehler Free SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.

Because following the birth of her first child over the weekend, Baby Boy Archie and her NBC sitcom that is currently under development, the only reason to tune into SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE outside of Seth Meyers’ Weekend Update is officially gone. Not to mention, less Amy Poehler means more time for Fred Armisen, Will Forte and Kenan Thompson to NOT be funny. Which in case you’re wondering, is a very scary prospect indeed.

Nominees (L to R): Kristin Chenoweth [PUSHING DAISIES], Jean Smart [SAMANTHA WHO?], Amy Poehler [SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE]. Holland Taylor [TWO AND A HALF ME], Vanessa Williams [UGLY BETTY]

SHOULD WIN: Amy Poehler
Did you see Saturday’s season premiere of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE? Amy Poehler is the only reason to stay up until the ungodly hour of 11:30PM And yes, this TV Addict realizes he’s getting old.

WILL WIN: Kristin Chenoweth
She acts! She sings! She rides horses! Chenoweth is a PUSHING DAISIES triple threat.

SNUBBED: Wanda Sykes [THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE]

Emmy Coverage
Outstanding Reality TV Program
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy
Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy
Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy
Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama
Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama
Outstanding Drama
Outstanding Comedy

*theTVaddict.com does not guarantee his ‘winning picks’ — Do not, I repeat, Do not ‘bet the house, kids or family pet’ on them!

90: The length [in minutes] of last night’s season premiere of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE.

5:33: The amount of time this TV Addict actually enjoyed last night’s season premiere of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE [see above video].

1000: The percentage of which Tina Fey absolutely nailed her dead-on Sarah Palin impression [again, see above video].

5: The number of months that have passed since the Texas Polygamist Compound made headlines. Yes, April. Also known as the month in which a Polygamist Quiz Show sketch might have been both topical and funny.

15: The number of seconds it takes for Kristen Wiig to get on my nerves.

30: The number of minutes this TV Addict was able to watch SNL this morning after fast forwarding through the unfunny parts and musical guest.

0: The number of times Fred Armisen’s Political ‘Comedian’ Nicholas Fehn made me laugh.

4: The number of minutes I spent pondering how on earth Fred Armisen still has a job.

-1: The amount of Gold Medals I’m docking Michael Phelps for serving up one of the lamest guest hosting performances ever. [Stick to the pool buddy].

1: The number of episodes I’ll be giving the increasingly unfunny SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE after Amy Poehler departs for maternity leave and her new NBC show.

NBC head honchos Marc Graboff and Ben Silverman, both the co-chairmen of NBC Entertainment and Universal Media Studios took the stage to talk about all things NBC, which pretty much became the “Amy Poehler / Office Spinoff / Jay Leno” panel.

Amy Poehler is leaving SNL this season after her baby is born (due in October), and they just announced that they’ve locked her in for a Thursday night show of her own… which isn’t named right now. It’ll be produced by Greg Daniels and Mike Schur, who Graboff called “The next Greg Daniels.” It’s not a spinoff of The Office, but a brand new show… and they’re saying that the actual The Office spinoff, which is still happening is like “The Jeffersons” was to “All in The Family”. Amy isn’t involved with The Office spinoff, and characters from The Office won’t be appearing on the spinoff, or vice versa.

Jay Leno actually asked questions from the audience, disguised as a reporter. He wanted to know things like “NBC brought back Knight Rider, any chance of seeing Manimal?” and “Is there any truth to the rumor that you’ve offered Jay Leno a fifth hour on the Tonight Show?” and “Brett Favre announced his retirement from the Packers and now it looks like he’s coming back. What do you think about that?” They did announce that they’re working on keeping Jay Leno within the NBC/Universal family. With that in mind, Conan O’Brien’s start date on The Tonight Show will be June 1, 2009.

As you probably know by now, Heroes: Origins isn’t happening, and Marc Graboff said “That was unfortunately a victim of the strike.” They want to concentrate on keeping Heroes what it is, especially since they’re doing 26 to 28 episodes this season. According to Graboff, “Tim Kring has nailed it.” He just watched a rough cut of the first episode, and he’s totally stoked for it.

They also addressed the issue that they’d announced a direct Office spinoff in April, but then had the lucky opportunity to work out a deal with Amy Poehler, and that translated into this new show not being a spinoff, but rather an original show… that doesn’t link to The Office. As mentioned before, they’re also working on a real The Office spinoff, which would appear sometime later in the season. Confused yet? I sure am.

Someone asked them if they thought that the Knight Rider TV movie was just a two-hour commercial for a car, and Graboff responded with “Well, it’s a show about a car…” So you do the math.

Good News: The hilarious and radiant Amy Poehler is rumoured to be in top-secret negotiations to head up the highly anticipated and incredibly secretive spin-off of THE OFFICE. Bad News: Which means, if it’s possible, SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE just became even less funny. [Source]

Good News: At yesterday’s Television Critics Association Press Tour, THE SHIELD creative team and cast promise a more satisfying ending than THE SOPRANOS. Bad News: THE SHIELD is ending. [Source]

Good News: Hayden Panettiere returns to the small screen. Bad News: With a music video. [Source]