Last night’s VAMPIRE DIARIES was the season finale and I’ll be honest: I expected more. During its freshman season, the series has proved itself to be so much more than a Twilight knock-off, specializing in sparkling dialogue, complex relationships and the kind of cliffhangers that would make any daytime soap scribe cry out, “We’re not worthy!” But having said all that, I expected more from the cliffhanger meant to keep us buzzing with excitement all season. Come on, seriously… who hasn’t suspected for months that the whole season was building up to Katherine’s return? And while the “Elena”/Damon kiss was shocking for a second or two, the second Jenna said, “You’d better come on in,” it was pretty clear what was going on. Having believed there was something fishy going on in the mayor’s manse for a while, I’m actually more intrigued by Tyler’s reptilian eyes than the Katherine twist. Obviously, we’re about to introduce another supernatural element… and here’s hoping it’s not werewolves. Making furry manboys the second creature introduced is the oldest trick in the vampire-series playbook. Heck, when daytime sudser DARK SHADOWS gave bloodsucking Barnabas a relative, they brought on cousin Quintin, who soon began howling at the moon and having his mutton chops take over his whole body. All in all, DIARIES had an amazing first season, and last night’s finale was a great capper. If, like me, you’re gonna miss the show a whole lot over the summer, never fear, TRUE BLOOD is returning soon. And how brilliant was HBO to run an ad during DIARIES last night? Very smart, people. Very, very smart!
 

If DIARIES left me feeling a tiny bit let down by its season-ending cliffhanger, the opposite proved true of SUPERNATURAL. While this has been an amazing season for the show, the scenes for last night’s epi didn’t seem all that exciting. But dios mio! Castiel being reduced to a pink mist! Bobby’s neck snapped! Sam beating the living crap out of Dean before throwing himself (and half-bro Adam) into the pit! And that wonderful, heartbreaking final scene. I have to assume this episode was purposely designed to serve as a wrap-up for the series had it not been picked up for another season, and man, did it work on that level. In fact, having dealt with armageddon all season and then capped it with the appropriately titled episode “Swan Song”, I’ll be fascinated to see what the writing team comes up with next season. I’ll admit, there’s a part of me that really wishes it would end there. There is nothing better than watching a show go out on a high note, and I can’t help wondering if when SUPERNATURAL finally does conclude, we’ll be left thinking, “Geez, yeah, in retrospect, that woulda been the perfect stopping point.” I don’t want to see this show go past its prime as so many other (coughbuffycough) have over the years. There ain’t nothin’ wrong with knowing when to say when.
 
There’s apparently a lot of controversy swirling around last week’s episode of LOST. I never had a chance to comment on it before, so I’ll throw my two cents in now: Loved it! I don’t give two craps about the Man In Black’s name. Didn’t know it before, don’t need to know it now. The episode did a pretty awesome job of answering an early question regarding those bodies Jack and Kate found way back in season one, and it was an intriguing story to boot. I found it a whole lot more interesting than some recent outings, that’s for sure.
 
So ABC picked up V, huh? Not sure I’ll come back for the second season. So far, this season has seemed like much ado about nothing. I’ve complained about its storytelling week after week, and nothing changed with the penultimate episode of the season. There simply is no sense of this being much more than a spitting contest between Erica and Anna, and I can’t help feeling several key, major roles were miscast. Will I tune in for next week’s finale? Of course. (Hello, I’m an addict, remember?) But I may just opt out next season, if only because I’m pissed at ABC for picking up this crapfest and cancelling my beloved BETTER OFF TED. (Oh, who am I kidding. We all know I can’t NOT tune in next season, at least to see how the presumed cliffhanger is resolved.)
 
This weekend is the DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES finale, and let me tell you something: If the final scene is of a bomb going off with a “who lives, who dies” cliffhanger — and you KNOW it will be — I’m gonna be pissed. This show has suffered a serious lack of creativity and originality for years now, and this season has been nearly unwatchable. It is in desperate need of someone who knows how to tell a real mystery with real consequences on the characters we love and use its subplots as something other than time-killers.

With apologies in advance to Michael Ausiello’s future earning potential, can we all not agree that the decision by LOSTerminds Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse to head into the final season of the show 110% spoiler free was the best one the two showrunners have made since pitching ABC a concrete end date for the series three years ago? Seriously. Having not an iota of an idea as to what’s going to happen when the clock strikes 8PM on February 2nd has only multiplied our excitement ten-fold for what we’re confident will be an epic final season of this landmark series.

Now that we’ve caught up with CHUCK following Monday’s fantastic episode, I just wanted to take a moment to publicly apologize to actress Kristin Kreuk who I’ve spent the better part of four years blaming for having forced me off the SMALLVILLE bandwagon thanks to her morose, uninteresting and whiny (Yes, we get it, your parents died leaving you an orphan!) portrayal of one Lana Lang. Playing Hannah, a beautiful girl-next-door-type love interest for the show’s titular hero on Monday’s episode reminded me that the actress was only reading what was given to her on the page. And more to the point, free of her lame Lana Lang persona does in fact have the ability melt hearts, sparkle on screen and best of all smile!

With yesterday’s news revealing that Rob Lowe’s recent decision to exit BROTHERS & SISTERS may have in fact stemmed from co-star Calista Flockhart’s request to work a reduced schedule next season, this TV Addict thought we’d offer up our version of a win-win solution to writers who are no doubt feverishly attempting to scribble together an exit plan which we hope goes a little something like this: Mr. McCallister goes to Washington1 A move that not only will be the closest thing we get to a WEST WING spin-off, but for Flockhart who is angling for a lesser workload, the ideal guest starring role as occasional First Lady. Who’s with me?

Friday’s episode (with a little help from its ROSE BOWL lead-in) unexpectedly doubled its typical audience numbers. Tonight at 8:30PM and 9:30PM, ABC gives viewers two more chances to catch one of the best shows you’re not watching… yet!

Hysterical dialogue
“We are not sleazy!” said Ted in defense of a sexual harassment suit. “Our department is more like a hard-working squirrel, stuffing its nuts in… wait. We’re more like a hard-working beaver… ah, I’m not going to land this metaphor.”

Veronica
Portia de Rossi’s emotionally-detached, conscious-free boss is perhaps the must cut-throat woman currently occupying the airwaves, a joyously un-self-actualized creature given to utterances such as “Children are so adorable… In a way, they’re like people” or “There are employees everywhere! It’s like I’m walking through spiderwebs!”

Veridian Dynamics
How can you not love a company that makes everything from weaponized pumpkins to a hypersonic-sound machine known as “The Voice Of God”.. which unintentionally causes people to throw up. (Or, as Ted put it, “A machine that causes vomiting. Well, that could have all kinds of applications for the military… and fashion modeling!”) 

Lem & Phil
Like most people blessed with true genius, the scientists responsible for the company’s amazing – and often horrific – breakthroughs are insecure and prone to paranoia. (“He’s like a god,” said Phil of boss Ted, “Only it hurts more when he judges us.”)

It’s scripted
ABC is almost single-handedly bringing back comedy this season thanks to freshmen hits MODERN FAMILY, COUGAR TOWN and THE MIDDLE. Obviously, there’s an audience out there… it simply needs to find sophomore series TED. Otherwise, yet another timeslot will be given to THE BACHELOR or some other unworthy reality show. And do you really want to be responsible for that? Because yes, I will hold you personally responsible. Consider that a warning.

When Principal Skinner gets fed up with Bart’s constant pranks, he reveals to him that there is a former Springfield Elementary student who is hailed as the best prankster ever. Enter Andy Hamilton (guest voice Jonah Hill), who at 19-years-old still hasn’t grown out of his pranking days in THE SIMPSONS November 22 episode entitled “Pranks and Greens.”

Because threesomes are, like you know so last week, leave it to creator Ryan Murphy to up the ante by putting the entire McKinley High gang in bed together…. when New Directions performs in a local commercial in the December 2nd episode of GLEE entitled “Mattress.”

What’s the only thing more shocking than BATTELSTAR GALACTICA star Katee Sackhoff showing up as a vision in Wolowtiz’s bathtub to offer up relationship advice? How about Wolowitz in a relationship! Which is the situation he finds himself in on the Monday November 23 episode of THE BIG BANG THEORY entitled “The Vengeance Formulations.”

On the December 9th episode of COUGAR TOWN, Bill Lawrence repertory player Scott Foley strolls into town to play a very wealthy potential home buyer who feigns interest in an overpriced home in order to (successfully, by the looks of it) get Jules’ attention.

When BETTER OFF TED returns for an unexpected (albeit very welcome) second season, so to does the evil (albeit unintentionally hilarious) corporation that is Veridian Dynamics. A corporation that on December 8th will attempt to curb the cost of employee health benefits by genetically matching employees. A program we should mention the usually skeptical Linda will find herself, well digging, upon learning that her match is none other than Greg (played by special guest star Taye Diggs)

Good News: FOX has signed a deal with publisher Deep Silver to give PRISON BREAK the video game treatment. Bad News: Like the series itself, expect the game to start off on a high note, only to quickly fizzle out and frustrate viewers thanks to various implausible plot twists and a ridiculous story-line. [Source]

Good News: Tonight’s BETTER OFF TED season finale features a guest appearance by Twilight’s Rachel Lefevre. Bad News: Somebody forgot to alert ABC’s marketing department, who in turn neglected to inform the millions of Twihards. [Source]

Good News: You can watch the second-funniest new comedy of the Fall — COMMUNITY on facebook right now! Bad News: Unless of course you live outside of the US, and not before you’re prompted to spam your friends with an invitation to ‘Become a Fan’ of COMMUNITY. [Source]

NEW & NOTABLE:
AMERICA’S GOT TALENT (9PM NBC)
America may have talent, but do they have their very own version of Britain’s Susan Boyle? Tune in to tonight’s two-hour premiere and find out.

HAWTHORNE (9PM TNT)
Two episodes in and the Jada Pinkett-Smith vehicle is already pulling out the big guns. No, husband Will Smith isn’t dropping by, rather COSBY SHOW alum Malcolm-Jamal Warner guests as a brain-aneurysm patient who spirals into dementia.

NYC PREP (10PM Bravo)
Think GOSSIP GIRL unscripted when Bravo unveils a reality series revolving around Manhattan’s privileged prep-school elite. Who, we should probably warn you, are just as obnoxious, self-involved and unaware with regards to the world around them that they might as well be actual actors on a hit TV show.

HUGE UNBELIEVABLE BREAKING NEWS! Michael Ausiello (@EWAusielloFiles) just gave theTVaddict.com a huge shout-out on twitter by including us in his #followfriday alongside the unbelievably awesome @tvweek_joe @sepinwall @LATshowtracker and @tvguide.

What’s that? You were expecting actual television news, not ridiculous self-indulgent non-TV related announcements? Well, how’s this for must-read-TV: According to our new “Twitter-BFF” Ausiello, ABC has taken a page from FOX’s welcome new “Quality over Quantity” playbook (as demonstrated by their surprising DOLLHOUSE second season pick from earlier in the day) by renewing rating challenged fan favorites such as CASTLE, BETTER OFF TED and SCRUBS.

Also making headlines was the Alphabet’s pick up of Courteney Cox’s much buzzed about Bill Lawrence comedy COUGAR TOWN, the drama HAPPY TOWN (from the brains behind OCTOBER ROAD and LIFE ON MARS), the re-imagination of the 80′s Sci-Fi classic V, EASTWICK (an adaptation of the The Witches of Eastwick ) and the Jerry Bruckheimer-produced FORGOTTEN.

Don’t forget to stick with theTVaddict.com (@theTVaddict on twitter) for the latest up-to-date renewals, pickups, cancellations and scheduling announcements from next week’s 2009 Up Fronts. It’s gonna be one helluva exciting week. Stay tuned…

Apparently this TV Addict isn’t the only one who is slightly perturbed by President Obama’s continued insistence on interrupting our regularly scheduled programming for long and meandering speeches that could have easily been summed up like so, “America has tough times ahead.”

Meet Victor Fresco, creator of ABC’s BETTER OFF TED. Who in response to his critically acclaimed, yet ratings anemic series, has dedicated the latest Veridian Dynamics commercial to his thoughts on the matter (Veridian Dynamics being BETTER OFF TED’s fictional and morally bankrupt megacorporation that serves as the source of much of TED’s humor.)

Thanks to Deadline Hollywood Daily for the Tip!

BETTER OFF TED (8PM ABC, City in Canada)
What’s worse than Ted inadvertently deleting himself from Veridian’s system? How about ABC purposely deleted BETTER OF TED from their schedule.

AMERICAN IDOL (9PM FOX, CTV in Canada)
In between commercials, pointless banter, more commercials and the results (Lil’ Round, Anoop we hardly knew ye) Season 7 contestant David Archuleta performs.

NEW & NOTABLE:
LIE TO ME (8PM FOX, Global in Canada)
Proving that some actresses just can’t get let go of the L word, or at least shows that start with the letter “L”, Jennifer BEals drops by LIE TO ME as Cal’s ex-wife, an assistant U.S. attorney who hires him to get to the bottom of an arson case in which the victim accuses a childhood friend, who’s now a famous TV reporter, of burning down his house.

LOST (8PM FOX, “A” in Canada)
Even in repeats LOST manages to raise interesting questions. Questions like the mystery that has us wondering why we still get repeats of LOST when we were under the impression that the purpose of ABC holding off on LOST’s premiere until January was to avoid such pesky retrospectives (read: clip shows). We’re just sayin’

BETTER OFF TED (8:30PM ABC, CityTV in Canada)
If you’re a fan of this off-beat comedy, tune in while you can. Rumors are circulating that Ted will soon be dead (read: not better off) This week, Linda winds up accidentally ingesting an experimental drug that gives her a whole lotta energy… and comes with a few unexpected side effects.

AMERICAN IDOL (9PM FOX, CTV in Canada)
Can’t we just name Adam the winner and call it a day?

LOST (9PM ABC, “A” in Canada)
Ben is kidnapped from the Dharma village’s infirmary, which seems to indicate that the hostiles have paid the townies a visit. Frankly, I’m just glad that we’ve stopped hop-scotching through time, at least for the moment.

NEW & NOTABLE:
AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL (8PM CW)
Dying to know where this year’s overseas location is? Tyra makes the big announcement at tonight’s judging session.

BONES (8PM FOX)
A bride-to-be winds up in the recycling bin, so Bones and Booth go digging through her dating history to find out who did her in.

THE UNUSUALS (10PM ABC)
In an action-packed outting, a notorious crime family stirs up all kinds of trouble, Shraeger digs into Walsh’s past and Cole’s former partner-in-crime pops up.

CSI: NY (10PM CBS, CTV in Canada)
Special Guest Star alert! Craig T. Nelson — you know, COACH! — plays a newspaper tycoon who may or may not have killed someone. The problem? The body is gone, forcing the CSI team to treat the investigation like a missing-person case as opposed to a murder.