GREY’S ANATOMY
Sloan’s new leaf! Callie and Hahn! Christina Cleaning! The Chief’s intern! Mer and Der! The only thing we’re not loving about the phenomenal string of post—WGA strike GREY’S ANATOMY episodes is that they’re coming to an end this Thursday.

AMY RYAN
Proving her Academy Award Nominated turn in GONE BABY GONE was no accident, we’ve got two words for Thursday’s remarkable guest starring turn by Amy Ryan — Emmy Nomination. In fact, Ryan’s stint as the ‘new Toby’ was so stellar that this TV Addict is going to offer up three more words on the off chance the proverbial Powers That Be are reading this. Spin—off potential.

ALIENS IN AMERICA
While the majority of the net is up in arms this week thanks to Mick St. John’s untimely stake to the heart and ABC taking the ax to MEN IN TREES. This TV Addict wanted to offer up one final shout out to last Sunday’s penultimate installment of ALIENS IN AMERICA. From heart to hilarity, there was absolutely nothing alien about the CW’s comedic hidden gem, except of course for viewers. Which is unfortunate, because surely I’m not the only one who is going to miss his weekly fix of Tolchuk adventure?

UGLY BETY
Since this TV Addict has been harping on UGLY BETTY’s shall we say ‘lack of funny’ for a few weeks now. I thought I should take an opportunity to give credit where credit’s due. It only took three weeks, but Thursday’s BETTY brought the funny back by finally reuniting Wilhelmina and Marc with the Meade’s and Mode. Here’s hoping Thursday’s season finale featuring ‘special’ guest star Lindsay Lohan doesn’t ruin the momentum…

BRITNEY ON HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
… like Britney’s did on Monday’s HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. Now I’m not normally one to kick a girl when she’s down. But Britney Spear’s return to HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER was nothing short of an embarrassment. Or to quote Time TV Critic James Poniewozik, “The storyline and character the writers have contrived to shoehorn her [Britney] into the show—kind of an extreme version of the borderline crazy-obsessives that characters on Friends were always hooking up with—just made her seem like she had wandered onto the wrong sitcom set.”

The TV Addict is taking a stand.

Helping prolong Britney and Lindsey’s fifteen, okay thirty minutes of fame is not a part of my job description. So from here on in — if you’re searching for that first look photo of Lindsay Lohan on the set of UGLY BETTY, or a preview clip of Britney Spears latest attempt at respectability on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER — you’ve come to the wrong place.

If shows want to earn this TV Addict’s respect, they’re going to have to do it the old—fashioned way. With compelling story-lines and stellar acting. Not by turning our favorite shows into the TV equivalent of the Betty Ford Center for spoiled Celebutards.

More concerning than Britney yet again stealing the spotlight from the gang on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER is the circumstances surrounding her return. To find out why Barney’s hanging with Britney, aside from the obvious bump in the ratings, simply click the link below.

Turns out Barney is only dating Abby when they realize that they have one thing in common — their mutual hatred of Ted!

This just in. Britney Spears’ not-at-all-overhyped guest spot on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER netted MOTHER it’s highest ratings ever in the holy grail of network demographics — 18-49 year olds.

Which means, in the grand tradition of WILL & GRACE, it’s time for MOTHER masterminds Carter Bays and Craig Thomas to start milking this plot device for everything it’s worth.

With that in mind, feel free to post away with your ideas for celebrity train-wreck’s and tabloid mainstays that Ted can date next. Here’s a few obvious ones to get you started…Mischa Barton, Victoria Beckham, Paris Hilton, Amy Winehouse, Tori Spelling, The Olsen Twins [To quote Barney, "Legendary!"], Nicole Ritchie, Eliot Spitzer’s Call Girl, Rosie, Heidi Montag, Jamie Lynn Spears, Denise Richards, the ghost of Anna Nicole Smith… too far? You decide.

Good New: Britney Spear’s appearance on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER will undoubtedly be a ratings bonanza for CBS. Bad News: It takes an appearance by Britney Spears to get most of America interested in television’s most underappreciated comedy. [see link]

Good News: Thanks to FRIENDS, David Schwimmer never has to work again. Bad News: Thanks to FRIENDS, David Schwimmer may never get another gig acting again. [see link]

Good News: HOUSE fans will get even more of the good doctor this April. Bad News: Because FOX has cut short JEZEBEL JAMES’ return. [see link]

In a continued effort to keep feeding the insatiable hype machine that surrounds Britney Spears, CBS has just released these two new clips of her upcoming appearance on Monday’s brand new HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER. This for a single episode guest stint. Can you imagine what would happen should Britney turn out to be Mrs. Ted Mosby? At least fans wouldn’t have to constantly worry about HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER getting renewed. Just something to think about.

In honor of this just released photo featuring Britney Spears saving guest starring on HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, the TV Addict has composed a haiku.

when britney checked in
eyeballs for mother doubled
spears did it again

And on a somewhat related side-note, a question for my fellow TV Addicts. Do we think actress Sarah Chalke got fitted for a different costume to play Ted’s next obsession, beautiful dermatologist Stella, or is she simply wearing her SCRUBS lab coat? Oh, and while we’re throwing out random questions. What exactly was Alicia Silverstone thinking when she decided to bow out of the ‘Britney’ episode that will undoubtedly be legen… [wait for it] …dary? Last time we checked Silverstone’s career wasn’t exactly on fire and while we’re no high powered CAA agent, this much we know. Is not the point of guest-starring on a moderately rated TV show to get your name back out there? Talk about clueless!

Photo Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS ©2008 CBS Broadcasting Inc

Okay, everyone in the world is talking about it, so I might as well too: Yes, I watched Britney, and yes, my housemates and I laughed our way through it while making catty remarks about her lethargic movements and misguided fashion choice. But while such supposedly respected news outlets as the Associated Press snarked, “Some comeback,” a major point has been lost: the actual song she pretended to sing along too. Because no matter what Ms. Spears eventually became thanks to her legendary dance moves and train wreck of a personal life, she jumped into the nation’s subconscious thanks to the catchy ditties she sang. And Gimme More — the number she performed during the opening moments of Sunday night’s MTV Video Music Awards — is going to stick in a lot of heads and sell a whole lot of albums. Maybe, just maybe, Britney should consider going back to singing — or at least spending time in a well-equipped studio which can make it seem as if that’s what she’s doing. Last time I checked, there’s nothing wrong with selling a couple million albums.

Anybody else catch the premiere of HBO’s TELL ME YOU LOVE ME last night? Okay, more importantly, will anybody tune in again? Can’t say as I will. The whiny characters facing stereotypical problems and spouting pretentious dialogue between gratuitous sex scenes left me feeling wildly manipulated by a network obviously wanting to be seen as “groundbreaking” when, in fact, it’s simply repackaging recycled concepts. The show has gotten a lot of attention for taking a naturalistic approach to sex, but let’s be honest here: The scenes in last night’s pilot followed the same basic format you’ll find in such late-night cable flicks as The Witches of Breastwick or Busty Cops. Sure, the actors are better (although I’m not sure I’d say the same about the trite plots) and the dialogue is full of psychobabble (“This isn’t who I want to be!”), but when the clothes start coming off, women’s body parts are front and center and men’s are generally protected by well-placed thighs or carefully crafted camera angles. I’m not saying HBO should be showing hardcore sex, but let’s not rush to praise the show for presenting unvarnished sexual images when in reality, they’re painting with the same brushes Skinemax has used for years. Not for nothing, but wouldn’t a show that wanted to tell real stories about real people maybe throw in an overweight person? Or hey, how about one of color? Frankly, you’ll find better and more diverse depictions of human sexuality on the britcom COUPLINGS.

Now I don’t wanna be accused of formulating conspiracy theories or anything, but does anybody else find it odd that CBS’ beleagured anchor woman Katie Couric just happened to go to Iraq — for the first time since her troubled tenure began — at the same time that President Bush made an unexpected Labor Day to that country? Yeah, riiiigggghhhhttt. And Couric just happened to land an exclusive interview. Since her return, we’ve been bombarded by ads declaring, “She did it, and she did it well.” I’m sure they’re designed to help viewers accept the former morning show host as a serious anchor, but I’m afraid all they’ve done in my house is inspire giggles.