In a not so subtle attempt to get the word out that — FOR THE LOVE OF GOD COUGAR TOWN HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH COUGARS ANYMORE — co-creator and self-promoter extraordinaire Bill Lawrence has taken the unusual step of releasing a ten-minute sizzle reel in the hopes of luring new viewers to the February 14th third season premiere. Pass it on.

Thanks to your recent post pointing to a free download of the series premiere, I’m officially hooked on SMASH. Which begs the question as to whether or not you have any scoop as to which actress the producers are going to reward with the coveted title role in Marilyn the musical? — Amanda
The TV Addict: Despite the fact that this by no means indicates whose name — be it Megan Hilty’s Ivy or Katharine McPhee’s Karen — will actually appear on the marquee when the Broadway musical based on the life of Marilyn Monroe actually does premiere, we can assure you that the answer to your question will be known by SMASH’s second fantastic episode of the season.

Any scoop on the best show nobody’s watching, you know, PARENTHOOD? — Dave
The TV Addict: This just in, there is a downside to success. Especially when the much-deserved notoriety Adam and Crosby are earning for restoring the luncheonette into a state-of-the-art recording studio brings with it a life-changing offer that the twosome may-or-may-not be able to refuse.

As much as I’m enjoying Booth and Brennan’s storyline this season with regards to their about-to-be-born baby on BONES, I can’t help but feel that the producers have done a really poor job of dealing with Parker. Are there any plans to address how Booth’s oldest son is dealing with the new addition to the family?
The TV Addict: In short: Yes! Or to be more specific, when Booth and Brennan aren’t busy solving yet another gruesome murder in BONES upcoming tenth episode of the season, they will be busy debating how to deal with Parker, who begins to act out to the tune of lying and possibly stealing in response to their newest bundle of joy.

Huge HART OF DIXIE fan here, please tell me there is any hope for those of us rooting for George and Zoe? — Jennifer
The TV Addict: Wait a second, you mean to tell me that people are actually out there shipping for George and Zoe? Alrighty then, against this Wade fans better judgement (Wilson Bethel FTW!), we’re going to throw all, err… seven (?) of you George and Zoe fans a bone by filling you in on a little secret. Not only will circumstances allow for George and Zoe to spend an awful lot of one-on-one time together when the twosome find themselves alone at a bar in HART OF DIXIE’s 19th episode of the season appropriately titled “Destiny & Denial,” the episode will offer fans a glimpse of what could have been (and still might?) when the two pretend to be bright-eyed newlyweds with a couple they meet at a bar. Cooler still, the episode will not only also allow George’s portrayer Scott Porter to show off his real-life musical chops, sources close to production have let it slip that producers are hoping to snag AMERICAN IDOL winner Scotty McCreery for a musical performance.

Now that COUGAR TOWN finally has a premiere date I’d love to get some idea of what we can expect this season. — Mikey
The TV Addict: Lucky for you, we had the opportunity to ask co-creator and all around nice guy BIll Lawrence just that at a private shindig he held during the recent Television Critics Press Tour in Pasadena. “We decided to keep the title as a badge of honor but decided to eliminate any aspect of ‘Cougars’ from the show once in for all,” explained Lawrence. “In the series premiere we even made Barb marry Barry Bostwick’s character.”

SHAMELESS Scoop? Please! — Bill
The TV Addict: Off the charts humidity in the sweltering summer heat that is Chicago is not the only thing that’s in the air as SHAMELESS continues its hilarious second season. Love, as it would turn out, is also in the air. Which is why fans should brace themselves, for not just one, but two (!) very unexpected proposals during the first half of SHAMELESS’ second season.

Noticed you tweeting about SWITCHED AT BIRTH this week. Now that you’re on the bandwagon might I trouble you for some scoop? —Meredith
The TV Addict: Gladly. After-all, following a week spent catching up on the fantastic first 10 episodes of this ABC FAMILY gem, we’re as excited to find out about what happens next as you are. Or make that, was as excited, until we learned about the decidedly dark turn the Kennish’s lawsuit against the hospital is going to take when the medical institution accuses Daphne’s mom Regina of intentionally switching babies in an effort to ensure hers wouldn’t suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome as a result of her own struggle with alcohol.

Any idea when David will make a choice between Mary Margaret and Kathryn? — Rachel
The TV Addict: If by “word” you mean precise day, well, than yes! Saving their biggest episode for the end of sweeps, the February 19th episode of ONCE UPON A TIME will not only see David agree to tell Kathryn about his relationship with Mary Margaret in Storybrooke, but will feature this very charming scene in the fairytale world…

Good News: After months of anticipation and speculation, ABC has finally awarded COUGAR TOWN with a spot on its schedule. Bad News: Well, aside from the February 14th Valentine’s Day premiere that all but guarantees much of the show’s core 18-49 demographic will be otherwise occupied for the evening and a completely incompatible lead-in that is LAST MAN STANDING, we’re really going to miss a possibly inebriated Bill Lawrence angrily lash out at ABC’s treatment of COUGAR TOWN via his delightfully honest @vdoozer Twitter handle. [Source]

Good News: CBS has given the green light to ELEMENTARY, which is being billed as a modern-day take on SHERLOCK HOLMES. Bad News: Not to be confused with CBS’ current modern day take on the infamous British detective that is THE MENTALIST. [Source]

Good News: Last night’s series premiere of ALCATRAZ netted Fox its highest numbers for a new drama series since 2009′s LIE TO ME. Bad News: For the increasingly tenious future of TERRA NOVA. [Source]

A TV Addict walks into a bar with a singular purpose. That purpose? To ask beleaguered COUGAR TOWN co-creator Bill Lawrence what it’s going to take for him to cast off the shackles of Network Television following countless years spent watching his beloved shows get treated like second class citizens.

“Back when I was doing SCRUBS I used to whine about it being mistreated,” admitted Lawrence during his recent self-funded unofficial COUGAR TOWN cocktail party held at the Winter Television Critics Association Press Tour in Pasadena California. “And then my dad once said, ‘The show’s been on for seven f–king years so far and I think you should shut up, it’s time to stop complaining’.”

In other words, despite our best effort to convince Lawrence to take a page from Louis C.K.’s playbook that recently saw the popular comedian harness the power of his own loyal following to self-publish an online comedy concert to the tune of a million plus dollars and counting, Lawrence wasn’t nearly as receptive to our idea as we might have hoped for.

“I like my job and I’ll tell you why: With Network television you still reach more people than see any movie. The greatest creative experience of my life was SCRUBS, it was so fun and I’ve also reached the point career wise that people leave me alone,” said Lawrence. “Creatively ABC has been the best partner I could have ever asked for. They like what I do, they don’t ‘note’ me to death, they trust me to keep it cheap and are very respectful. I still believe that this [COUGAR TOWN] is a success story. You’ll get a different interview with me if I’m in New York with you and my show gets canceled. Then I’ll say — with another one of those in my hand [pointing to a drink] — I’ll never be doing network TV again!”

And while it probably shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that the immensely popular Producer isn’t exactly
jumping at the chance to turn his back on the system that has earned him a much-deserved spot amongst the country’s 1%, we just couldn’t help but wonder, well… what if? What if Lawrence took the sizeable chunk of change he’s spending on bar tabs and parties across the country to promote COUGAR TOWN to, at the very least, start developing his own show online? Is he really not the least bit curious to see what could happen if he decided to harness his own fiercely loyal following to create a popular television show outside of the traditional studio system?

“In my heart of hearts — and I could be wrong — but I still consider myself a very young guy in the business and you’re tapping into a conversation I have with my wife all the time But it’s not generally the conversation I have with reporters right when I’m starting a new deal.”

Paul Lee is really excited about midseason.
Using the equivalent of the “Super Bowl for woman” that is the upcoming February 26th Oscar telecast as a launch pad, ABC Entertainment President Paul Lee kicked off this morning’s TCA Executive Session by touting his Network’s upcoming midseason schedule including the February 7th premiere of THE RIVER (“A really extraordinary show”), the March 4th premiere of GCB (“A really fun show brought to us by Darren Star”), the March 15th premiere of MISSING (“Marking the return of Ashley Judd to primetime”), the April 5th premiere of SCANDAL (“It’s so sticky, and it’s really sexy”) and the April 11th premiere of DON’T TRUST THE B—- IN APARTMENT 23 (“It’s one of my favorite comedies of the year”). The latter of which will get the plum post-MODERN FAMILY time slot when HAPPY ENDINGS finishes out its second season.

ABC had one helluva fall!
In an effort to ensure his excitement about his Network’s midseason lineup didn’t completely overshadow the success of ABC’s fall one, Lee singled out REVENGE and ONCE UPON A TIME as two of the strongest shows of the fall. Said Lee, “I think [Creator] Mike Kelley is doing a fabulous job with REVENGE, I adore that show. And ONCE UPON A TIME came back with a great number… is a really inventive show and [Creators] Adam and Eddie are doing a fabulous job with that show.” Also of note was Lee’s belief — after sidestepping the issue of the original cast member’s still up-in-the-air contracts, that is — in the resurgent GREY’S ANATOMY. “GREY’s came roaring back. It’s creatively still at the top of its form and Shonda [Creator Shonda Rhimes] has a vision like nobody else,” said Lee. “She knows what she’s doing, and she knows where she’s going. We’ve heard her vision, not just for the end of this season, but for beyond, and it’s really, really strong. I’m feeling very good about the show.”

COUGAR TOWN still has a home on ABC.
Not only does Lee promise that he’s a big fan of creator Bill Lawrence’s penchant for pot-stirring (“I always say to my showrunners, take a page out of Bill Lawrence’s book because he does such a great job of getting a passionate audience around a show.”), he promised that when COUGAR TOWN does launch (Tentatively schedule for March), the network will promote the show (“Well, the reality is COUGAR TOWN is having one of their best seasons to date and I think you’ll find that, when we launch it, it will bring a big strong message that we love the show.”) More interesting still Lee could one day foresee a dream situation of young comedy block featuring COUGAR TOWN, HAPPY ENDING and APT 23.

Paul Lee is still pretending WORK IT and PAN AM have futures.
Although Paul Lee gets serious points for kicking off this morning’s Executive Session by asking a roomful of tired critics what they really thought of WORK IT, the ABC Entertainment President loses some by pretending the not-so-well received show actually has a future, “I think it was right in the middle there,” said Lee referring to WORK IT’s ratings. “We’ll see where it goes in the next few weeks,” Along those same lines was his hesitancy to outright proclaims PAN AM dead on arrival, claiming that the show will run original episodes through February and that no decision has been made about the show’s future.

GENERAL HOSPITAL is not dead yet.
Despite the impending arrival of Katie Couric’s Fall 2012 chat fest, Lee isn’t ready to take GENERAL HOSPITAL off life support just yet. “I don’t know whether we’re going to make a decision on that. I’ve come in, sort of, very recently into that whole decision, so we’ll see. We will have to make a decision at some point,” said Lee. “I have to say, I started my life in soap operas. My first job was a second assistant director on a Brazilian soap at 7 o’clock. Not the greatest soap ever made, but I loved it. In Rio. And then I worked on soaps in the U.K., and I’m a fan of GENERAL HOSPITAL, but we have not made a decision, and don’t really have a time frame for it either.

When we first got wind of Louis CK’s plan to disrupt the traditional means of distributing content by offering up a brand new standup special for an affordable through his personal website louisck.net, our first thought was where do we sign-up? Our second thought — after eagerly handing over our $5 to CK via a hassle free payment system and enjoying his unique brand of self-deprecating and hilarious humor was — could this business model work for the rest of Hollywood?
 
It’s a question we’ve actually been pondering for quite some time when we weren’t otherwise occupied scanning our Twitter feed for increasingly painful-to-read tweets from the clearly disheartened creators of COMMUNITY (@danharmon) and COUGAR TOWN (@vdoozer). Both of whom who have been forced to helplessly standby as their respective Broadcast Networks quietly begin to withdraw their support for their critically acclaimed albeit ratings anemic shows under the very watchful eye of new leadership. Could a model that saw Louis CK’s loyal fans numbering 100,000 (and counting) generate upwards of half a million dollars (and counting) for the privilege of receiving a fantastic piece of DRM-free entertainment at a drastically reduced price work to save a struggling show such as a COMMUNITY or COUGAR TOWN?  Well, after much thought and a little bit of number crunching we’ve come to this conclusion that, well, it’s just not that simple.

Forgetting for a moment that CK’s one-hour standup special which requires a limited crew and no writing staff or actors to speak of is an entirely different animal from a single camera comedy that undoubtedly employs hundreds of talented people both in front and behind the camera, consider the following: If your average episode of COMMUNITY or COUGAR TOWN costs around 2 million dollars an episode to produce, one would need to raise 26 million dollars for a 13 episode season (Note: We’re dreaming small here!). Divide that 26 million by $32.50 (Ie: The cost of 13 episodes at $2.50 per piece) and what you’re left with is 800,000 contributors needed to turn this pipe-dream into a reality. And while we don’t pretend to know whether or not that many people would be willing to shell out that kind of money on top of their already over-stretched entertainment dollar (see: cable bills, internet access, Netflix, Video Games and what have you) we sure as heck would love for a talent like Bill Lawrence or Dan Harmon to find out. 

And not just because the talented twosomes’ tweets are increasingly sounding like a desperate cry for help. But rather because, as the likes of Radiohead already illustrated in the music world and CK just did in the comedic one, it’s going to take a talent with an already established and fiercely loyal following to leverage the power of their audience to make something like this work. Of course, herein lies the crux of problem. While it’s easy to casually add up a few hundred thousand fans, multiply some random dollar figure by a number of episodes and scratch your head and wonder why [insert your favorite showrunner] hasn’t given [insert your least favorite network] the proverbial middle finger and gone out on his (or her) own. One mustn’t discount the role the giant media conglomerate has played in the success of the show you love so dear.

A passionate fandom is not built in a vacuum. The likes of NBC, CBS and their respective production partners have sunk millions upon millions of dollars into creating, promoting and nurturing these shows over the course of the past three years. Thus, the question isn’t so much whether you’d pay to keep COUGAR TOWN or COMMUNITY alive, but if you’d be willing to pony up $32.50 for Bill Lawrence or Dan Harmon’s next untitled project that may-or-may-not star Joel McHale or Courteney Cox. Just a little something everyone needs to remember before you go about starting that Kickstarter campaign.

Dying for some NIKITA intel after the recent doozy of a midseason finale. Any clues as to what happens next? — Dakota
The TV Addict: While we don’t pretend to have any viable intel on the mother of all twists that went down in the most recent episode, we can report that all signs are pointing to Nikita doing a little soul searching in the New Year. And by soul searching, we of course mean confronting the sole woman who may-or-may-not be able to shed some light on Nikita’s long-awaited “origin story!” An origin story which in typical NIKITA fashion will come complete with flashbacks to an underground rehab clinic, murder, Mexico, plenty of gunplay, and some guy named Percy.

Now that BONES is back in production, care to share the name of Booth and Brennan’s baby? — Jane
The TV Addict: As much as we would absolutely love to reveal the name of Booth and Brennan’s baby. our love of staying on creator Hart Hanson’s good side wins the day yet again. Thus, in lieu of any actual information we hope you’ll forgive us for this highly ambiguous tease: Lifelong loyal BONES fan should already know the name of Booth and Brennan’s baby. And yes, now would be your cue to guess away in the comments below.

Any idea as to what type of relationship roadblocks are forthcoming for Sarah and Mark on PARENTHOOD? — Courtney
The TV Addict: Ideas, we’ve got plenty, unfortunately fans of Sarah (Lauren Graham) and Mark (Jason Ritter) probably aren’t going to want to hear them. Which is to say, when PARENTHOOD returns in January, so to will one of Mark’s twenty-something besties named Kirsten. And while Kirsten will by no means come between Sarah and Mark, a dinner in which Mark introduces Sarah to his group of twenty-something friends will further illuminate the gaping age difference between the two in a new and awkward way. Oh, and while we’re on the subject of relationships that fall under the “It’s Complicated” category, things are about to get a lot more so for Jasmine when Dr. Joe makes his intentions crystal clear.

Is there anything you can give me in terms of COUGAR TOWN scoop to help fill the void as a result of this seemingly never-ending hiatus? — Lisa
The TV Addict: Since ABC has yet to let the cat out of the bag with regards to a premiere date (although, if we had to speculate, there’s talk out there that it will return sooner than expected.), we’ll let the cat out of the bag on a little something that is guaranteed to put a smile on the segment of the fandom rooting for Laurie and Travis to get together. It is totally going to happen! But before it does, Laurie will first find herself in a relationship with a military man who is currently serving overseas.

Is GENERAL HOSPITAL really going to kill off Robin? — Amy
The TV Addict: Although everything at the ABC sudser is sort of up in the air right now thanks to the massive backstage changes that saw new head writer Garin Wolf demoted so that ONE LIFE TO LIVE’s former scribe, Ron Carlivati, can take over, it’s looking like the answer is probably “no.” Even before ABC confirmed that Kimberly McCullough — the popular actress who has played Dr. Robin Scorpio-Drake on and off since 1985 (when she was just 7 years old!) — would be leaving, rumors were circulating that the character (who has been living with HIV since 1995) would develop AIDS and die. But this week, Robin went to her longtime friend (and former beau) Jason, asking that the Mob enforcer help her vanish after the holidays in order to spare her husband, Patrick, and their daughter, Emma, the pain of watching her illness develop. (It was also revealed that demented doc Lisa Niles replaced the medications Robin has been taking for years with placebos, thus weakening her immune system.) Speculation now is that the character will do exactly that, allowing McCullough to exit the canvas at the end of her contract and leaving the door open for her return. This week, news broke that Finola Hughes would be returning to GH early next year. Given that Hughes plays Robin’s mom, Anna (who happens to be a super spy), it seems likely that her stint will play into Robin’s exit story.

Any word on just how bad Bree is going to spiral out of control on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES? — Melanie
The TV Addict: According to sources, Bree isn’t scheduled hit rock bottom until early in 2012, when a series of embarrassing alcohol-fueled hook ups will result in an unexpected trip to the doctor’s office where she’ll be confronted with some very troubling news.

At the beginning of this season, the producers of HAPPY ENDINGS promised a boyfriend for Max, yet thus far we’ve got nothing! Is there any hope at all on the relationship front for the funniest character to hit the small screen since SEINFELD’s Kramer? — Brandon
The TV Addict: My friend, we’re sorry to report that this is yet another one of those classic good news bad news situations because as you’ll soon discover, there is a downside to Max getting a boyfriend in an upcoming episode entitled “Everybody Loves Grant.” As the episode’s title suggests, the gang’s infatuation with Grant — coupled with Brad and Jane’s penchant for taking things a little too far — has the potential to tear the HAPPY ENDINGS crew apart! Especially if the words “couples cheating” means anything to you.

I know it has been a while since GREY’S ANATOMY last aired, but I’m hoping you can alleviate my fears as to the fate of Meredith! She’s going to be okay following that horrific crash right? — Lizzy
The TV Addict: Since we’ve actually received quite a few questions over the course of the past few weeks pertaining to the fate of one Meredith Grey we hope this just released photo from the upcoming January 5th episode of GREY’S ANATOMY will alleviate your fears. Meredith Grey isn’t just doing okay, she’s doing a heck of a lot better than poor Christina, who will be forced to help Teddy with her patient in the O.R. all the while not being able to tell her about the fate of Teddy. Gulp.

This week in Awesome: Not only did PARKS AND RECREATION have Leslie taking a page from FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS’ Coach Eric Taylor (“Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose”) in an effort to inspire the troops, the episode’s final scene that saw her hard-working staff dedicate the next few months of their lives to her election campaign was this close to having us standing up and cheer, “I serve at the pleasure of the President.”

You’re a Mean One, Mr. NBC: Indeed, nothing says cruel and unusual punishment like forcing fans to watch another exemplary episode of COMMUNITY all the while knowing full well that this may be the last time we see it on the air for God knows how long!

Most Controversial Moment: Despite the internet being fiercely divided over this week’s highly contentious episode of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER that removed the possibility of Robin ever having biological children of her very own, there is one thing anyone would be hard-pressed to argue about: Having attracted the show’s highest ratings in two years, the show’s writers must be doing something right.

The Biggest Loser: Judge Nicole Scherzinger, who after crushing the dreams of 14-year old Rachel Crow on Thursday’s edition of THE X FACTOR couldn’t muster even a word or two of an explanation. Weakest link much?

Biggest Head-scratcher: While we’re usually the first to commend those smarter-than-your-average-showrunners over at THE GOOD WIFE for sharp storytelling and believable character development, we feel the need to take them down a peg based on Sunday’s comedy of errors in which daughter Grace was presumed kidnapped having accidentally butt-dialled mother Alicia. To borrow a line from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE’s Seth and Amy, “Butt-dialing… 12 times… Really?”

From the Department of Thou Shalt Covet Objects From Thy Favorite TV Set: Is anyone else obsessed with the Victoria’s Grayson’s mesmerizing black and white chair on REVENGE? Or are you — as you should be — too busy counting down the days until the new season’s guiltiest pleasure returns?

Most Unexpected Moment: Question: When is the only acceptable time for a transgendered person to get into a fight with two grown men? Answer: On Tuesday’s hilarious RAISING HOPE, which now that BETTER OFF TED has been put to bed, is quietly solidifying itself into the funniest show you — yes YOU — aren’t watching.

Occupy Ustream: A company with far too much disposable income on their hand has apparently offered Octomom Nadya Suleman six-figures to star in her own weekly internet show to be broadcast on Ustream.

Adding Insult to Industry: Despite announcing that the incredibly unfunny MAN UP! is being yanked from their schedule, ABC has yet to throw COUGAR TOWN a bone. Deciding instead to fill the space with repeats of Tim Allen’s LAST MAN STANDING. Ouch!

And the Award for the Hardest Working Man in Show Business Goest To…: Mark Pellegrino, who following stints this year on CSI:MIAMI, BEING HUMAN, BREAK OUT KINGS, THE CLOSER, SUPERNATURAL, and LOCK & KEY will end the year by infusing a little ruthlessness into CASTLE’s 1940′s film noir episode. Speaking of which…

Funniest Moment: Five days after the fact, we’re still chuckling over Castle’s suggestion to Beckett that the only way they’re going escape being cuffed together was for her hand to be sawed off 127 Hours-style because “it’s smaller.”