“The show just hired Ron Carlivati, who was widely praised for his amazing work on OLTL over the past few years, to take over GH,” says Soaps In Depth executive editor Richard M. Simms. “And Frank Valentini, who was the executive producer at LIFE, has come over as well. So there’s a whole new, exciting, creative and — perhaps most important all — hopeful vibe where the show is concerned.”

But hope ain’t gonna boost the ratings, as has been proven time and again. “This is a really tough time to be a soap fan,” admits Simms. “It’s just shocking how many shows have been taken away. Since 1997, when we launched the magazine, we’ve lost AMC, OLTL, GUIDING LIGHT, AS THE WORLD TURNS, PASSIONS, THE CITY, PORT CHARLES, SUNSET BEACH and ANOTHER WORLD. There were 11 shows when we launched… now, there are four. We simply can’t lose another one.” 

With that in mind, Soaps In Depth which has two extremely active Twitter feed (@soapsindepthabc and @soapsindepthcbs) has come up with a program called B.A.N.D. “It stands for Bring A Newbie Day,” explains the editor whose opinions on the various shows comprise most of the tweets sent out on the accounts. “We’re encouraging people who love GH — or the genre as a whole — to convince someone who maybe doesn’t watch GH to tune in today. I’ll be live-tweeting the East Coast feed at 3 p.m. and will be availble to answer questions newbies might have about who’s related to who or why people are fighting. And if I don’t know the answer to a question, I’ll send it out to our followers. I’m betting one of the 20,000 folks following us will know!” 

Why start now? “One of the things Carlivati plans to do is introduce several characters from OLTL onto the GH canvas in the coming weeks,” explains Simms. “That means there may be OLTL fans who’ve never watched GH before, but are starting now so they can get familiar with the show before the OLTL folks show up.” 

Simms says that B.A.N.D. will become a regular thing in the weeks to come. “Most people who already follow us know that I love, love, love to tweet while I’m watching the soaps. But a lot of times, I can’t do it live. Contrary to popular belief, I do have other things to do! So most days, it’s sort of catch-as-catch can. I might live-tweet THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS one day, and then wind up posting comments about DAYS OF OUR LIVES late at night when I’m watching at home. But we’re going to make sure people know that if they want to start watching a new soap, we’re there to help them by answering questions. Even if it’s not a B.A.N.D. day — which we’ll try and do at least once a week — we’re still there for them!” 

Paul Lee is really excited about midseason.
Using the equivalent of the “Super Bowl for woman” that is the upcoming February 26th Oscar telecast as a launch pad, ABC Entertainment President Paul Lee kicked off this morning’s TCA Executive Session by touting his Network’s upcoming midseason schedule including the February 7th premiere of THE RIVER (“A really extraordinary show”), the March 4th premiere of GCB (“A really fun show brought to us by Darren Star”), the March 15th premiere of MISSING (“Marking the return of Ashley Judd to primetime”), the April 5th premiere of SCANDAL (“It’s so sticky, and it’s really sexy”) and the April 11th premiere of DON’T TRUST THE B—- IN APARTMENT 23 (“It’s one of my favorite comedies of the year”). The latter of which will get the plum post-MODERN FAMILY time slot when HAPPY ENDINGS finishes out its second season.

ABC had one helluva fall!
In an effort to ensure his excitement about his Network’s midseason lineup didn’t completely overshadow the success of ABC’s fall one, Lee singled out REVENGE and ONCE UPON A TIME as two of the strongest shows of the fall. Said Lee, “I think [Creator] Mike Kelley is doing a fabulous job with REVENGE, I adore that show. And ONCE UPON A TIME came back with a great number… is a really inventive show and [Creators] Adam and Eddie are doing a fabulous job with that show.” Also of note was Lee’s belief — after sidestepping the issue of the original cast member’s still up-in-the-air contracts, that is — in the resurgent GREY’S ANATOMY. “GREY’s came roaring back. It’s creatively still at the top of its form and Shonda [Creator Shonda Rhimes] has a vision like nobody else,” said Lee. “She knows what she’s doing, and she knows where she’s going. We’ve heard her vision, not just for the end of this season, but for beyond, and it’s really, really strong. I’m feeling very good about the show.”

COUGAR TOWN still has a home on ABC.
Not only does Lee promise that he’s a big fan of creator Bill Lawrence’s penchant for pot-stirring (“I always say to my showrunners, take a page out of Bill Lawrence’s book because he does such a great job of getting a passionate audience around a show.”), he promised that when COUGAR TOWN does launch (Tentatively schedule for March), the network will promote the show (“Well, the reality is COUGAR TOWN is having one of their best seasons to date and I think you’ll find that, when we launch it, it will bring a big strong message that we love the show.”) More interesting still Lee could one day foresee a dream situation of young comedy block featuring COUGAR TOWN, HAPPY ENDING and APT 23.

Paul Lee is still pretending WORK IT and PAN AM have futures.
Although Paul Lee gets serious points for kicking off this morning’s Executive Session by asking a roomful of tired critics what they really thought of WORK IT, the ABC Entertainment President loses some by pretending the not-so-well received show actually has a future, “I think it was right in the middle there,” said Lee referring to WORK IT’s ratings. “We’ll see where it goes in the next few weeks,” Along those same lines was his hesitancy to outright proclaims PAN AM dead on arrival, claiming that the show will run original episodes through February and that no decision has been made about the show’s future.

GENERAL HOSPITAL is not dead yet.
Despite the impending arrival of Katie Couric’s Fall 2012 chat fest, Lee isn’t ready to take GENERAL HOSPITAL off life support just yet. “I don’t know whether we’re going to make a decision on that. I’ve come in, sort of, very recently into that whole decision, so we’ll see. We will have to make a decision at some point,” said Lee. “I have to say, I started my life in soap operas. My first job was a second assistant director on a Brazilian soap at 7 o’clock. Not the greatest soap ever made, but I loved it. In Rio. And then I worked on soaps in the U.K., and I’m a fan of GENERAL HOSPITAL, but we have not made a decision, and don’t really have a time frame for it either.

Why? Well, under previous regimes, Sami Brady and EJ DiMera did some pretty awful things to one another… culminating with her shooting him in the head while he laid on a bed, drunk as the proverbial skunk.

Kinda hard to bring back the romance after that, huh?

But this being a soap, there are ways. Oh, yes, there are ways. And in the case of EJ and Sami, it meant creating a scenario in which the pair believed their child dead, driving them to react as only soap opera characters would: With a heated bout of grief sex.

Which, of course, led to immediate regrets when, literally minutes later, they learned that rumors of their son’s death were most definitely exaggerated. (Whoopsie!)

The question now, however, is where does the pair go from here? Soap aficionados are already speculating that Sami — for whom the term “fertile Myrtle” may have been invented, what with her already having four tots running around town — will wind up pregnant. Many, however, hope this is not the case, thinking that the last thing the show needs is to put Sami — who is currently married to hunky Rafe Hernandez — through another “Who’s The Daddy?” story. But if not via a baby, the question looms: How do the writers turn Sami and EJ’s ill-advised, grief-driven romp into something more lasting? And is that even in the cards, what with EJ’s latest ex-wife, Nicole, slowly falling back under the charmer’s spell?

Something tells us this story will be complicated and messy. Already, Sami’s oldest son, Will, knows about his mom’s tryst, having accidentally walked in on the couples coupling and then beat a hasty and unobserved retreat. (His reaction? To vomit in the bushes!) And the less-vocal but equally passionate fans of Sami and Rafe have made it clear that they want to see her marriage survive this crisis.

In other words, the writers have their work cut out for them, because if there’s one thing we’ve learned from our years of watching soaps, triangles are like a warped version of Thunderdome: Three people enter, two people leave. But which two? Only time will tell!

Let’s face it. 2011 has not been a good year for fans of daytime drama, what with shows dropping like flies and even the promise of beloved shows moving to the Web is beginning to seem about as likely as THE EDGE OF NIGHT getting rebooted. But this being Thanksgiving and all, I’m going to try and think of five things that soap fans have to be grateful for. It won’t be easy, but… well, let’s give it a go, shall we?

Melody Thomas Scott is back on our screen.
THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ Nikki is a fan favorite who was missing for far too long. now, she and her gorgeous portrayer are not only back but front-and-center thanks to questions about where she was on the night of Diane’s murder…

REVENGE is a hit.
There are a lot of shows on the airwaves with soapy storylines, but REVENGE is an old-fashioned sudser that is giving fans of the genre more thrills than a lot of its daytime counterparts. This, kids, is what soaps are all about.

The DAYS OF OUR LIVES reboot.
It’s hard to believe that only a few short months ago, the lone NBC soap was such a mess you couldn’t pay me to watch… and that’s literally my job! And while the much-ballyhooed revamp in September fell flat for many, recent weeks have found the show morphing into top-notch drama worthy of the old NBC “Must-See TV” slogan. And that was before EJ and Sami’s much-discussed bout of grief sex!

ONE LIFE TO LIVE is on fire.
No currently-airing show — primetime or daytime — is better at mixing drama and comedy to create an irresistible brew that leaves every viewer wondering why ABC is canceling the best soap on its slate.

Twitter.
Fan wars and nastiness aside, the social media site has been embraced by soap lovers who find that live-tweeting is the modern equivalent of sitting in a college dorm and watching with your besties.

Richard M. Simms is the executive editor of Soaps In Depth magazine.

1) As fans of scripted shows in general and soaps in particular, we refuse to encourage the decimation of an entire genre by execs like Brian Frons, whom Susan Lucci (Erica, ALL MY CHILDREN), beautifully described as having “that fatal combination of ignorance and arrogance.”

2) If we want cooking shows, we’ll go to the experts at The Food Network.

3) This week, time-slot competitor DAYS OF OUR LIVES kicks off a reboot that will bring fan-favorites John, Marlena, Carrie and Austin back to Salem.

4) You know how shows always put the good stuff in the promos? If having TOP CHEF’s Carla tell us that small shrimp are cheaper and still awesome in her gumbo is “the good stuff”, we’ll pass.

5) We hate those ugly orange crocs that Mario Batali wears.

Don’t be surprised if later this afternoon, some of the people in your life become unexpectedly (or extra) surly. And if you hear sobbing coming from the break room in which your office has a TV, just respectfully walk by and try to understand that for soap fans, today is going to be a tough one. Because this afternoon, another one bites the dust.

After 40 years, ALL MY CHILDREN ends its legendary run on ABC. This is only the latest blow to a medium that has, in the past decade, seen one show after another fall. When we launched Soaps In Depth magazine, there were 11 serials airing. As of Monday, we’ll be down to five. And in January, ONE LIFE TO LIVE will conclude its network run after 43 years and more than 11,000 episodes. There are plans to bring both AMC and OLTL to the Internet, but for many longtime viewers, that simply won’t be the same. Others won’t make the leap, and some question whether the transition will really even occur.

But no matter how you look at it, these are dark times for fans of a genre that has been around since the days of radio.

So, for those of you who are thinking, “Geez, people, it’s just a television show!” let me put this in terms you can understand: Imagine losing something that has been a part of your life for four decades. MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL, perhaps. Or a restaurant that your family has gone to so often that everyone working there knows not only your name but how you like your steak cooked and that if there’s anything green on Aunt Hildy’s plate, she’ll send it back.

With that in mind, I humbly request that you try and cut the soap lover in your life a little slack. In fact, how about if we declare this the first annual “Hug A Soap Fan” day? And when the tears start flowing during this afternoon’s final network broadcast of AMC — and trust me, they will — instead of rolling your eyes, why not just hand them a tissue with which to dry theirs and give them a hug?

Ask 100 fans of the long-running soap ALL MY CHILDREN — which airs its final episode on ABC this afternoon before relocating to the Internet in January 2012 — to name their favorite moment, and you’re likely to get at least 97 different responses. But here are our five favorite storylines, in no particular order. Check ’em out, then go to the comment section and tell us yours!
 
Phoebe Tyler pretends to be paralyzed in order to prevent hubby Charles from leaving her for Mona Kane, the mother of the infamous Erica Kane.
 
A jealous suitor’s attempt to steal Jenny Gardner away from her true love, Greg Nelson, takes a tragic turn when the brunette beauty (played by ARMY WIVES’ Kim Delaney) dies on a rigged-to-blow jet ski!
 
Palmer Cortlandt does everything in his power to keep naïve daughter Nina from being with dashing Dr. Cliff Warner. A highlight? The revelation that her gal pal “Monique” is actually her not-as-dead-as-believed mom, Daisy… and Palmer’s maid, Myra, is Nina’s grandma!
 
Tad Martin earns his nickname “Tad the Cad” by sleeping with vixen Liza Colby… and her mom, Marian, who was a cougar long before cougars were cool!
 
In a stunningly complex story spanning both AMC and ONE LIFE TO LIVE, gal pals Babe and Bianca go into labor at the same time and are the victims of a double baby switch. Babe’s child is given to OLTL’s Kelly (whose own newborn had died), while Bianca is left to believe that her own child (now being raised by an oblivious-at-first Babe) is dead. The story became controversial after Babe, realizing the truth, opted to allow Bianca to believe her child dead for many months.

“Oh, geez,” he says with a sigh. “You’re basically asking me to poke at the hornet’s nest with a sharp stick!” It seems that there are two groups of fans who’ve been waging an often nasty war with one another for quite some time now. “On the one hand, there’s the JaSam crew,” Simms explains. “Obviously, they are very big fans of Jason and Sam, and they’ve been looking forward to this wedding for a very long time. On the other side of the proverbial aisle are people who want to see Jason with his ex, Liz. They’re the Liason crew. And whenever those two groups come together, man, things can get really nasty!”

Both sides have reasons for feeling the way they do. Liason lovers can’t support Jason being with a woman who stood back and watched as his son with Liz was kidnapped. And JaSam fans believe that Liz was nothing more than a tryst the hunk would have forgotten all about were it not for the fact that it resulted in her having a baby. (That child, Jake, was killed in one of the most shocking and controversial twists to hit the soap in many a year).

“The two groups will likely never see eye to eye,” admits Simms, adding that while it’s not unusual for soap opera triangles to divide the audience, rarely to things get as nasty as they have between these two groups. “Ever since soaps began, they’ve featured love triangles,” he explains. “A great love triangle does exactly what this one has by creating a situation where half of the audience is rooting for one pair, while the rest of the audience is rooting for the other. It’s a tried-and-true staple of the genre. But every now and then, for whatever reason, a triangle comes along that creates not only a rift but a divide so great that the two factions turn downright nasty.”

Asked to name another recent triangle that inspired such hostility, he mentions THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ Phyllis/Nick/Sharon and DAYS OF OUR LIVES’ Rafe/Sami/EJ. “Both of those storylines have fans who can be intensely invested, but neither is to the point of the Sam/Jason/Liz folks.”

And what can he tell us about this week’s highly-anticipated (by non-Liasoners) wedding?

“It’s perfect for the couple,” Simms previews. “For weeks, there’s been a lot of talk about how this is going to be a very big, very fancy event. And it’s actually starting to freak the bride and groom out. It’s not that they don’t want to get married. They do. They are very much in love. But they may not necessarily be having the wedding that’s right for them. In some ways, it’s very reminiscent of the wedding between Pam and Jim on THE OFFICE.”

Elsewhere in the new issue, look for a lengthy chat with GH’s Ingo Rademacher, as well as a revealing interview with ONE LIFE TO LIVE’s Trevor St. John. “A lot of people were very upset when his character, Victor, was killed off a few weeks ago,” says Simms. “Here, he gives his side of the story as far as why he left and what he wish could have been different about it. Finally, with ALL MY CHILDREN ending its ABC run a week from today, look for a loving tribute to the show, including an interview with beloved creator Agnes Nixon and the cast reflecting on their favorite memories.

Grossest Manipulation: “I’m not trying to sell a story,” said BACHELOR PAD’s Kasey to fellow contestants. “But just know the money is necessary for my grandmother to live.” Kudos, dude. You’ve finally proven yourself to be just as disgusting as your fame-whore girlfriend, Vienna. Enjoy yourself while you can, buddy, because the race is on to see whether your relationship or your time in the spotlight ends first.
 
Best Crossover: Holy Wrestlemania! A special Tuesday-night edition of SMACKDOWN featured stars from both this WWE franchise and its sister show, RAW, giving Syfy a nice ratings boost and fans of the genre an extra night of carnage.
 
Why Geeks Wet Themselves This Week: The New York Post reported that a sixth version of STAR TREK is in the works and will soon be pitched to CBS.
 
The “Well What Else Did He Have To Do” Award Goes To…: Chad Michael Murray, who, having all but squandered the buzz he had a few years back, will return for the final season of ONE TREE HILL.
 
Best Tweet: Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine sent out one reading: “The VMA’s. One day a year when MTV pretends to still care about music.” He closed with an obscenity that would have been downright appropriate for what New York Times’ columnist Jon Caramanica dubbed “maybe the most bleeped award show in history, and certainly the lewdest.”
 
Saddest News: Melissa Sue Gilbert and Bruce Boxleitner announced they’d be divorcing. And if Scarecrow and Half Pint can’t make it, who can?
 
Lamest Casting: Okay, be honest: Who out there knows who JR Martinez is? Given his lack of storyline, even most ALL MY CHILDREN fans — on which he plays Brot — might have difficulty placing the name. Forget COUGAR TOWN; it’s DANCING WITH THE STARS that needs to consider a name change.
 
The “Don’t Make Us Beg… ’Cause We Will” Award Goes To: CBS, who this week put some of it’s programming on Hulu… but only in Japan. Given how crappy CBS’s on-line players are (and that includes for sister-network The CW), we can only hope this is a sign that Hulu will soon be hosting their content here as well.
 
Story We Never Need To See Written Again: No outlet needs to write about how “not all (insert ethnic group here) are happy with (insert offensive reality show centered on group comprised largely of said ethnicity here).” That’s like saying that not all cows are pleased with slaughterhouses.
 
Worst Mom: A stage mother on TLC’s TODDLERS & TIARAS dressed her child as Dolly Parton… complete with padded chest and butt. Remember when you actually, I don’t know, learned stuff on The Learning Channel?
 
Most Humble Nominee: SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE hostess Cat Deeley told AfterEllen.com that Ryan Seacrest should win the Emmy that they’re both competing for. If she weren’t so darn charming, we’d smack her. As it is, we’ll settle for her graciously accepting come Emmy night.
 
Dumbest Question Ever: Will there be any GLEE skits on this year’s Jane Lynch-hosted Emmy telecast?
  
Emmy-Worthy Performance Of The Week: What do you say we just give next year’s Outstanding Lead Actress in a Daytime Drama nod to ALL MY CHILDREN’s Debbi Morgan right now? It’ll be tough for anyone out there to top her heartbreaking performance as alter ego Angie clawed at the ground beneath which was buried the switched-at-birth daughter she hadn’t even known had died.
 
Best — And Perhaps Only — Reason To Watch TWO AND A HALF MEN For The First Time: Judy Greer (perhaps best known as the breast-flashing secretary on ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT) has been cast as the ex-wife of Ashton Kutcher’s character.

Best Feud: One almost feels bad for Fox News as one man — Jon Stewart’s THE DAILY SHOW — repeatedly makes mince meat of their entire network. Almost.
 
The “Don’t Let The Door Hit Ya Where The Good Lord Split Ya” Award Goes To… : Vinny, The Situation and any other JERSEY SHORE cast member who walks away — or threatens to — from the show. Dudes, if you think there aren’t about 5.3 million folks with equally low IQ’s willing to act like complete asshats in order to make millions of dollars, you know nothing about the tragic state of today’s society.
 
Campaign With The Most Bite: Discovery Channel brilliantly released ads using Lady Gaga’s “Show Me Your Teeth” to promote Shark Week.
 
Person You Never Want On A Jury Judging You: CNN’s Nancy Grace proved that she is a believer not in justice and points of law but mob rule by calling Casey Anthony’s jury “kooky” and other derogatory terms. Better still, she proved herself a hypocrite by then taking John King to task for showing clips in which she was criticized by an actual juror. Note to Ms. Grace: If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

Most Ridiculous Controversy: A DirecTV ad featuring a fake boxer named Truth sparked accusations of racism and elder abuse from people who clearly have never MONDAY NIGHT RAW, which features walking stereotype R. Truth. Oh, and who also clearly have no sense of humor whatsoever.
 
Most Obvious Outcome: According to LA Weekly, the reason the winner of AMERICA’S NEXT GREAT RESTAURANT saw his franchise fail was… bad food. Huh. You’d think someone would have taken that into consideration.
 
Go Ahead, Laugh: The folks at Deadline Hollywood reported that Russell T. Davies — creator of TORCHWOOD and QUEER AS FOLK — would be doing a new series for Showtime. The only known details? The show will revolve around gay men and is named CUCUMBER. The jokes right themselves, kids.
 
Most Likely To Be Banging Their Heads: NBC execs who will pay a fortune for the 2018 Winter Olympics… which will be broadcast from Korea, a country with a 14-hour time difference, thus assuring most events won’t air live during primetime.
 
Train Wreck Of The Week: As always, BIG BROTHER promised to be both the most addictive and, thanks to the presence of wildly-annoying former-contestant Rachel, annoying guilty pleasure of the summer.
 
Most Unexpected News: ABC announced that they’d sold the licensing for doomed soaps ALL MY CHILDREN and ONE LIFE TO LIVE to Prospect Park production company and that the shows would continue on-line via an as-yet-unlaunched Hulu-like service. Fans were cautiously optimistic yet skeptical, especially given ABC’s having treated them like red-headed stepchildren in the past.
 
Luckiest Chick Ever: Showtime’s HOUSE OF LIES cast conventional hunk Michael Rady (MELROSE PLACE) and unconventional hunk Nick Stahl (CARNIVAL) to woo Kristen Bell.
 
Oddest Debate Among Pop Culture Aficionados: The hottest topic among TV columnists? Are there too many breasts (tits, boobies, dirty pillows, etc) on networks like HBO and Showtime. Guess if you never get to touch ‘em in real life, you’ll look for any excuse to write about ‘em, right nerds?