Great news for humans currently living in fear that this week’s Man vs. Machine battle on JEOPARDY is merely the opening salvo in the eventual enslavement of the human race by our soon-to-be Robot overlords. When the inevitable does happen, there will still be a need for a handful of fairly talented flesh-bots. Or at least that was what the titular voice of THE CLEVELAND SHOW, executive producer Mike Henry (pictured above, top left), indicated during a recent conference call with reporters.

“The CLEVELAND SHOW would have to go down with me, it’s as simple as that,” said Henry, when asked by the TV Addict as to what would happen if himself or FAMILY GUY/AMERICAN DAD creator Seth MacFarlane were to be involved in some sort of horrifying accident rendering them unable to speak. “I think the shows are tied to our longevity. Hopefully, knock wood, nothing happens to Seth on his private plane or to me on my commercial flights until I’m as rich as Seth and I can afford a private plane.”

As for whether or not the proverbial powers that be at FOX have been secretly working on some sort of Watson-esque super-computer that would be capable of combing through the thousands of hours of available audio tracks in an effort to replicate Henry or MacFarlane’s voices should the unthinkable happen.

“Maybe it’s possible, although that’s a little morbid. I think of that episode of THE SOPRANOS where they used some existing footage of Tony’s mom after the actress had passed away, and it was just weird. So I don’t think, I think we will probably just —you know what? I don’t give a sh*t because I won’t be alive!” said a half-joking Henry, being sure to add on a more serious note, “I will say it is a great deal of responsibility with so many people working on the show. I take care of myself for my family first, and certainly for the show.”

Question: What does Christine O’Donnell have in common with an animated talking dog? Answer: Well, aside from not being witches, both of whom will, as of Sunday, have the dubious distinction of being taken down a peg by one of America’s most entertaining political satirists. Indeed, perfectly timed to coincide with last Friday’s season finale of (sigh) REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER comes Sunday’s brand new episode of FAMILY GUY entitled “Brian Writes a Bestseller” that has Maher taking down Brian a peg when his best selling book goes to his head. More first look photos of which can be found after the jump.

How does a man who has never been able to emotionally connect with anyone or anything deal with the brutal death of the one person who came closest to bringing out his humanity? And how is his seeming lack of humanity viewed by those around him, including the sister who has long struggled to understand his quirks? That was the intriguing premise behind the fifth-season premiere of DEXTER as our anti-hero struggled with the aftermath of wife Rita’s murder. Having Dexter’s disconnect from humanity be the very thing that makes him look like a prime suspect in Rita’s death was a stroke of genius, and the scene in which he broke news of her death to his stepchildren while wearing a pair of mouse ears from Disney World – aka the Happiest Place On Earth – beautifully displayed exactly the kind of dichotomy this series has specialized in from the beginning. If there was one flaw with the episode, it lay not in what transpired during the hour but in the spoiler-heavy preview of what’s to come this season. That said, having not flicked the TV off quickly enough to avoid seeing them, it looks as if we’re in for a hell of a ride over the next 13-weeks.
 

If last night’s FAMILY GUY is a sign of what to expect this weekend, we’re in for some good stuff. While the episode wasn’t as laugh-packed as usual, it was an epic homage to every flick from And Then There Were None to Clue, all done with a directorial flair that showcased the limitless nature of animation. It’ll be interesting to see if the episode’s deaths — especially those of Mort’s wife and newswoman Diane Simmons — are mined for future plotlines. Perhaps Marge as Tom Tucker’s new on-air sparring partner, or Mort’s search for a new wife? Of course, this being FAMILY GUY, the whole thing could wind up being explained in passing as someone’s dream. One thing’s for sure: I can’t wait until next week, when Brian takes on Rush Limbaugh! Talk about a dog-eat-dog scenario! 

To say I haven’t been a huge fan of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES over the past few seasons would be an understatement on par with John McCain is no spring chicken. But I’ll admit that last night’s episode — the seventh-season premiere — was better than pretty much any of last season’s episodes. In fact, the highly-publicized arrival of Vanessa Williams’ Renee was actually the low point of the hour. Don’t get me wrong: I’m a huge fan of Williams in general and her UGLY BETTY persona, Wilhelmina, in particular. But come on… who didn’t know the second Lynette began talking about her friend with the fabulous life that by the end of the night, it would be revealed Renee’s stock had plunged lower than the neckline on her portrayer’s dress? The plot that found Susan preparing for a life in softcore porn was equally predictable, although it could morph into a fantastic little story in which her attempt to moonlight for cash winds up involving her in a dangerous world behind her comprehension. (But let’s face it, under Mark Cherry, it’s pretty much a rule that all Susan-related plots be played for laughs, meaning in two or three weeks, this story will be dropped like that bombshell Carlos will soon be unleashing on poor Gaby. No, for me, the promise comes from the returns of Paul Young and, more importantly, Felicia Tillman (played by the incredible Harriet Samson Harris, whom many will remember from her awesome portrayal of FRASIER’s agent, Bebe). While I’m sure that — as in every single season so far — what starts out as an exciting mystery will quickly become boring thanks to too-few plot developments spread over too many episodes, with this show, I’ve learned to take what I can get. 

I wanted to love RUNNING WILDE if for no other reason than the talents involved, but for now, I’ll have to settle for being in like with it. This is through no fault of leads Will Arnett and Keri Russel, who perfectly embody (respectively) blustering billionaire Steven and cute-if-clueless Emily. Rather, the pilot simply felt a little too forced. All the trademarks one would expect from a show executive produced by three members of the ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT team are in place… and in a way, that might be part of the problem. Some of the quirks are too familiar (the voiceover by Stefania Owen’s precocious pre-teen, Puddle). Others are too over the top. (Until now, I’d have thought one could never get enough of miniature horses. Turns out, I was wrong.) Then again, I wasn’t blown away by the ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT pilot, and that show went on to become one of my all-time faves. 

One lucky entrant will be picked at random and notified via email on June 2, 2010, so please be sure to enter with a valid email address. Not a winner? FAMILY GUY: SOMETHING, SOMETHING, SOMETHING, DARK SIDE is now available on Amazon for only $14.49.

As a fellow EVERWOOD addict, I’m very excited for Gregory Smith’s return to the small screen in ROOKIE BLUE. What’s the word on the street? — Connor
The TV Addict: Having just recently had the chance to screen the pilot, fans of the artist formerly known as Ephram Brown will be happy to discover that ROOKIE BLUE does in fact live up to its billing of GREY’S ANATOMY meets NYPD BLUE by delivering a competently produced police procedural with the usual array of TV tropes that go with it (See: Inter-office romance and secrets galore!) That said, would we really be as excited for the show if it didn’t star an EVERWOOD alum? Probably not. But we’ll get to more of that in our full-fledged review coming soon.

Do you think tonight’s episode of LOST titled “The Candidate” will bring with it a definitive answer as to which Kwon, be it Sun or Jin, Jacob was referring to? — Amber
The TV Addict: Yes. But don’t take our word for it, here’s what actor Daniel Dae Kim coyly teased during a one-on-one interview with him last week late last week. “There will be progress in that regard.” Adding, “No” when we followed up with whether or not he was surprised as to who was the lucky candidate was.

As a huge fan of Puck (Mark Salling) I find myself slightly less than gleeful when it came to the show’s first three episodes back which have been severely lacking in the Puck department! When can this Puck fan expect a storyline for our favorite bad boy? — Ashley
The TV Addict: Change you can believe in comes in the form of the May 11th episode entitled “Laryngitis,” which has Rachel and her alarming sore throat taking a backseat to Puck and Kurt. The former of which looks to climb the McKinley High social ladder by making a very interesting decision. While the latter decides to adjust his personality in an effort to please his Dad, culminating in not just one, but two huge solos and what our mole on the set calls “a really huge performance piece.”

Does creator Shonda Rhimes have anymore plans for a GREY’S ANATOMY/ PRIVATE PRACTICE crossover this May? — James
The TV Addict: Unfortunately, Shonda Rhimes has already gone on record, well, make that twitter and said that as of this moment, there are no plans for any further crossover episodes this season. But if it’s crossover you’re into, FOX is picking up the slack by delivering a crossover of its very own when Peter and the gang’s search for the source of a dirty joke leads them to Virginia where they reunite with Cleveland on the May 16 episode of FAMILY GUY.

Fiercely loyal HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER fan here who keeps refreshing www.weddingbridemovie.com with the hopes of learning something, heck anything new about the movie being written by Ted’s ex-fiance’s husband Tony. Curious if you have any intel on how the movie turned out? — Mike
The TV Addict: Since prolific TV bloggers such as ourselves were banned from test screenings of the movie the only morsel of intel we have comes courtesy of this first! exclusive! look! at Ted’s reaction to seeing his life on screen. Read into that as you will.

Forget BROTHERS & SISTERS, the Bravermans are the new Walkers! Any word on just how big Papa Braverman’s money troubles are? — Piper
The TV Addict: So big that Zeek will soon find himself out on his big Braverman behind and forced to stay with Adam and Kristina. Not surprisingly, Mamma Braverman doesn’t like being kept in the dark when it comes to Papa Braverman’s financials!

I am finding myself more and more captivated by Julianna Margulies’ GOOD WIFE as the weeks wear on, any spoilers? — Madison
The TV Addict: Remember Dylan Baker’s Colin Sweeney? The totally creepy man suspected of murdering his wife earlier in the season. Well, he’s back! Downside is that he was found handcuffed to a dead woman’s body which Alicia will somehow have to explain to a jury on the May 18 episode of THE GOOD WIFE.

Do you think there is any hope for Liz Lemon? I find myself growing weary of her inevitable transformation into a live action “Cathy.” — Bill
The TV Addict: Firstly, don’t knock Cathy. And second, if Liz Lemon ends off the season alone (again!) it certainly won’t be due to a lack of effort as this Thursday’s episode has our lovelorn heroine revisiting past flames — including Jon Hamm, Michael Sheen, Jason Sudeikis and Dean Winters — in an effort to snag a date for Floyd’s upcoming nuptials.

Will THE OFFICE ever re-visit Angela and Dwight’s decision to have a baby? Or will it simply be forgotten like the Angela, Andy and Dwight love triangle? — Nina
The TV Addict: Unlike Dwight breaking up Angela and Andy’s relationship — which Dunder Mifflin as a whole seemed to be pretty okay with — Angela’s contractual obligation to sire Dwight a suitable offspring will be back in a big way this Thursday when Dwight will face the wrath of Angela after reneging on their agreement.

Any ideas as to how Rob Lowe is going to exit BROTHERS & SISTERS? — Scout
The TV Addict: If we had to guess, in a pine box John Locke style. Especially thanks to the following one-two punch that has executive producer David Marshall Grant letting it slip in a recent interview that Kitty will already have been dating when BROTHERS & SISTERS returns next season and we this just released photo featuring a very exasperated Robert, who in the May 16 season finale will find himself hugely in over his head thanks to a business deal gone wrong.

Please, please, please can you help save LEGEND OF THE SEEKER! — Michelle
The TV Addict: As our contributions to the brilliant-but-unsuccessful campaigns to save EVERWOOD, JACK & BOBBY and VERONICA MARS so clearly illustrate, we cannot. But what we can do it wish those fighting the good fight our best and notify all interested parties that you can visit saveourseeker.com for more information.

Well that about wraps it up folks for this edition of “Ask the Addict.” if you’ve got a question for the TV Addict, you can email me directly at info@thetvaddict.com or follow me on twitter @thetvaddict.

In what we can only imagine was a direct response to THE SIMPSONS capping off their 450th episode with the following message, “Thanks for 20 wonderful years. Now stay tuned for three Seth MacFarlane shows,” get a load of last night’s closing credits of FAMILY GUY. THE SIMPSONS, it’s your move.

Following in the illustrious footsteps of GOSSIP GIRL’s Blair Waldorf, Serena Van Der Woodsen and Vanessa Abrams is… Meg Griffin? Sure looks like it, with the upcoming January 31st episode of FAMILY GUY entitled “Dial Meg for Murder,” featuring Meg getting thrown into the big house when she gets busted for hiding her jail bird boyfriend Luke (guest voiced by Chace Crawford). More first look photos of which can be found after the jump.

Okay, at this point, we’ve gotten used to seen SNL serve up sketches that are moderately funny at best and about as topical as a copy of Time magazine from 2006, but must their hosts be plucked from the recycling pile as well? With all due respect to MAD MEN’s Jon Hamm (slated to host the supposed laffer on January 30) or camera spokesmodel Ashton Kutcher (February 6), we humbly offer up a few ideas for hosts who don’t come with their own “Been There, Done That, Hosted SNL” t-shirts.

Zachary Levi
NBC obviously knows they have a potential hit in the slow-to-grow CHUCK as evidenced by the ad campaigns devoted to it (not to mention their not putting our favorite Buy More employee on the shelf), so why not give the show’s star a shot in the host slot? Could prove to be a mutually advantageous situation for both shows.

Joel McHale
Live from New York… it’s the bitingly-funny star of COMMUNITY, the funniest NBC comedy that you’re not watching. And given that the guy used to still hosts THE SOUP — which is often funnier on an off day than SNL at its best — he knows a thing or two about bringin’ the funny.

Stephen Colbert
Considering the fact that Colbert was kind enough to give NBC executive Dick Ebersol time on Wednesday night’s THE COLBERT REPORT so he could plug NBC’s upcoming Olympic coverage, it seems only fair there be a little quid pro quo.

Stewie Griffin
Sure, it would take some advance planning but in a world where news networks are using holograms, why couldn’t the diaper-wearing, show-tune-crooning, matricide-plotting FAMILY GUY baby be animated into scenes?

Conan O’Brien
Rumor has it the late-night funny guy has some free time on his hands. (What? Too soon?)

DOLLHOUSE
Pretty girls are literally and figuratively transformed into playthings and sent out into the world to pleasure wealthy men. Sure, there’s Victor, but even he was used by the writers as a way to threaten the position of woman-in-power Adelle!

BAD GIRLS CLUB
Let’s face it, people tune into this mess for one reason and one reason only: To see girls with low self-esteem behave in the worst ways possible.

GENERAL HOSPITAL
A show ostensibly aimed at a female audience which might easily be renamed THE WOMEN IN JEOPARDY HOUR. The end of its much-ballyhooed Franco story saw not one, not two, but three different women (Carly, Lulu and Sam) being held hostage by the madman.

FAMILY GUY
While the animated laugher is an equal-opportunity offender, poor Meg may be the most tread-upon character in the history of television. As Peter once said after his daughter left the room, “Who was that guy?”

BIG LOVE
As polygamy is, in essence, institutionalized misogny, it’s impossible not to put this compelling show on the list despite the fact that it’s female characters are some of the strongest to grace the small screen.