Anyone else downright thrilled at the idea of a Michael-free OFFICE? Not for nothing, but I wouldn’t mind if he took Dwight with him as well. For years, I’ve felt as if their over-the-top antics are the weakest element of a show that often borders on brilliance when it plays the Dunder-Miflin staff as loveable drones as opposed to unrelatable oddballs. Give us more Angela, Pam, Jim, Oscar, Meredith, Kevin, Stanley, Creed and Oscar. You know all that money they’ve been paying Steve Carell and Rainn Wilson? Give it to Kathy Bates and have her gruff-but-charming Jo make the Scranton branch her base of operations.

I suspect a lot of people walked away from HAPPY TOWN feeling, well, unhappy, but I absolutely loved it. Yes, there were elements that I could have lived without, and yes, it felt a little too TWIN PEAKS-y at times, but that said, I can’t wait for the next episode. Sam Neill’s Merritt Grieves was creepy as all get out, and Lauren German’s Henley came off as the perfect “outsider” through whose eyes we could explore the odd goings-on in Haplin. But my favorite part had to be “the widows”, if only ’cause I’m a sucker for spry little old ladies. Watching them flirt with Merritt was, as my grandma would have said, a hoot-and-a-half. But what the hell was with the overly-loud music during the first 10 minutes? At some points, the dialogue could barely be heard! It was interesting that the show chose to practically backburner some of its biggest names — including Amy Acker and Steven Weber — in the pilot, but in a way, doing so prevented viewer’s attention from being distracted from the quirkier townsfolk being played by less familiar faces. HAPPY TOWN is a place I definitely wouldn’t wanna live, but I’m looking forward to weekly visits!

More and more, V is becoming a show that I really want to enjoy… but can’t because of its annoying storytelling. For example, if Anna thought that Val’s baby could lead to the destruction of the aliens, why would she send a single soldier to track the mom-to-be? Doesn’t so important a mission seem worthy of sending maybe a couple more emissaries? It’s beyond time to expand the canvas here and step up the threat level supposedly posed by the Visitors. Meanwhile, I had to laugh — which I’m guessing isn’t the response the writers wanted us to have — when Anna told the doctors gathered from the other ships that the hybrid baby was a threate because, in essence, it might (gasp!) unleash the love. Corny much?

It looks like May and June are going to be must-watch months for DAYS OF OUR LIVES. The soap — which has really been on the rebound over the past year — has several major plots unfolding, including the mystery of what’s behind Hope’s extremely bizarre behavior. But longtime fans — including those who stopped watching over the years — will no doubt want to tune back in for the show’s highly-anticipated tribute to Frances Reid, who played beloved matriarch Alice Horton from episode one until her death last year. Instead of a single-episode tribute, the show will spend several weeks building up to the character’s funeral. During that time, a host of beloved faces from the past will return to pay their respects. For a look at what the show has in store, watch the clip below.

Wondering why we’re shining the spotlight on actor Sam Neill mere hours after sharing a roundup of some slightly less than kind reviews of HAPPY TOWN, his latest project which premiers tonight on ABC at 10PM? (“A” Channel in Canada). Turns out, that we have a soft spot for actors who have played a pivotal role in our formative years. And Neill, having starred in Jurassic Park — a film that to this day we look back fondly as one of our seminal childhood favorites — certainly classifies as having done just that.

On what brought him back to television.
After tiring of reading predictable film scripts in which he could predict the ending after two pages if dialogue, Neil started looking to the small screen for projects that he could really sink his teeth into. “I started getting caught up with some interesting television shows like THE WIRE and MAD MEN,” explained the actor. “I picked up this script [for HAPPY TOWN] and thought it was very bizarre, mysterious and scary. Plus it was funny as hell which is always appealing.”

On the identity of the Magic Man.
Although it came as little surprise that Neill was keeping “mum” on the identity of Haplin Minnesota’s mysterious Magic Man, whose scariest trick is making inhabitant disappear, the actor was kind enough to guarantee that fans won’t be left hanging. “You will became aware of the identity of the Magic Man before the end of the first series of episodes,” promised Neill. “Of course things being the way they are, as soon as we become aware of who the Magic Man is, it opens up at least three or four other questions. HAPPY TOWN is a pretty elaborate and the identify of the Magic Man is just one of the mysteries.”

On what’s next.
“Hopefully more HAPPY TOWN,” joked Neill who was only to happy to remain in one place having just shot five movies back-to-back. “You’re never quite sure what’s going to work or not from reading the script, but I can tell you from day one whether or not I’m going to enjoy it. And it was clear from when we started shooting that I was going to enjoy this immensely and we’re very much looking forward to doing some more.”

Still mulling over whether or not to pay a visit to ABC’s HAPPY TOWN this evening? Allow us to save you some valuable time that might be better spend clearing off your DVR, reading a book, or dare we say it, getting off the couch! No, really. To borrow a line from ABC’s very own advertising campaign, “Don’t let the name fool you.” Or the fantastic ensemble of TV Addict favorites including Amy Acker, Sam Neil, Francis Conroy, and Steven Weber for that matter. Simply put, having watched endured the first two episodes of HAPPY TOWN that introduces us to a quirky Minnesota town named Haplin (Hence, the title!) that has been plagued by a slew of kidnappings at the hands of the mysterious “Magic Man,” you probably can guess who we’re rooting for.

What’s worse — for ABC that is — is that we’re not alone! And to prove it, we’ve collected a few choice quotes from some of our favorite TV critics that we have a feeling won’t be making the HAPPY TOWN poster anytime soon.

“HAPPY TOWN just lays there like a pretentious blob of unkneaded yeast,” is just one of 10(!) reasons TV Guide Magazine’s Matt Roush includes in his list of why life will be a happier place if you steer clear of HAPPY TOWN!

“One of the worst written show in recent painful memory,” says USA Today… the paper that loves everything!

“You’ll want to go to a place without televisions,” promises the New York Times.

“You’ll want to go to a place without televisions,” promises the New York Times.

“The only similarities I could find between it [HAPPY TOWN] and TWIN PEAKS were that (A) they both air on ABC and (B) they are both set in small towns where the sunny exteriors belie a secret underbelly of darkness,” bemoans the Televisionary who let’s just say was not a fan.

“It’s like being dragged to a dinner theater where the troupe has decided to stage an amateur adaptation of TWIN PEAKS as a hammy homage to that show’s 20th anniversary this month.” swears The Washington Post.

HAPPY TOWN premieres Wednesday April 28 at 10PM on ABC (“A” Channel in Canada)

Good News: Jennifer Garner has inked a fresh development deal with ABC, the network that put her on the map. Bad News: The key word here being ‘development, one that, as Michael Ausiello so accurately put it, “calls for the four-time Emmy nominee to develop projects via her Vandalia Films production shingle.” Not act! [Source]

Good News: Steven Weber is in negotiations to move into ABC’s midseason series HAPPY TOWN. Bad News: Replacing one of Hollywood’s hardest working and most likable actors, Dean Winters. [Source]

Last week the five major broadcast networks outlined their new fall schedules and previewed clips of new series for advertisers at their annual Upfront presentations. After taking a look at these clips myself, I’ve compiled a list, divided into what’s most promising, what’s roughly in the middle, and what looks horrible. These aren’t reviews per se, they’re just immediate reactions to very brief footage – I’ll reevaluate after I’ve screened the pilots later this summer.  First up, least promising of the bunch… Alex O’Loughlin fans, please don’t hurt us.?

100 QUESTIONS (NBC)
Buzz was that NBC was high on this comedy before its Upfront presentation and that it was being touted as “the next FRIENDS.” Highly doubtful, and I’m pretty sure the laugh track was the only thing laughing during the dreadfully unfunny trailer.

BROTHERS (FOX)
Starring former New York Giant Michael Strahan…plays former NFL player Mike Trainor, who returns home to help his brother’s struggling restaurant business. CCH Pounder from The Shield and Carl Weathers also star as their parents. Strahan does fine, but what would really be great is if the whole thing didn’t feel so strained and dated.

THE DEEP END (ABC)
GREY’S ANATOMY with lawyers. Because it refuses to stop.

THE FORGOTTEN (ABC)
A band of amateur detectives work to identify victims and solve their murders. Looks like a COLD CASE lookalike CBS passed on – and with good reason.

HANK (ABC)
Kelsey Grammer plays a CEO who loses everything in the stock market, forcing him and his family to relocate to suburban Virginia. It’s the recession comedy of the year: humble, and kind of cheap.

HAPPY TOWN (ABC)
I demand a moratorium on prefacing previews with “from the network that brought you [insert cult favorite here].” Just because you mention TWIN PEAKS, doesn’t make this murder mystery set in a town Where Bad Things Don’t Happen Twin Peaks. Got it?

MELROSE PLACE (The CW)
Sydney Andrews, of the original Melrose, inexplicably survived her seemingly fatal death and has returned to collect rent from a whole new gaggle of tenants, which include Ashlee Simpson-Wentz in her return to TV. Like the 90210 remake, it seems to lack the balance of soap and melodrama. Needs a Heather Locklear sooner than later.

PAST LIFE (FOX)
Honestly, it’s the silliest sounding show I’ve heard in a while. About “an unlikely pair of past-life detectives who investigate whether what is happening to you today is the result of who you were before,” I couldn’t decipher from the clips previewed whether this reincarnation drama was a joke or a sadly mistaken idea for a procedural.

THREE RIVERS (CBS)
MOONLIGHT’s Alex O’Louglin is a star dammit! It’s great CBS is so enamored with him, but could they find a role any more thankless than as a surgeon at a organ transplant hospital? I don’t even like him that much I know he deserves better than this.

TRAUMA (NBC)
It’s THIRD WATCH, with a bigger budget (so more explosions) and about paramedics. Already I’m feeling medical drama fatigue.

THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (The CW)
Twilight = icky. Twilight x Dawson’s Creek’s Kevin Williamson = slightly less icky, but still pretty icky.

THE DEEP END
According to the official ABC description: Sterling Law is one of L.A.’s most prestigious law firms. Each year it recruits four new young lawyers from the finest law schools worldwide. It will nurture, guide and shape these recruits into the best damned lawyers they can possibly be — or else.

According to this TV Addict: It’s GREY’S ANATOMY meets L.A. LAW. Which is something we’d usually be far more critical of, except for the fact that these lawyers include JACK & BOBBY’S Matt Long! VERONICA MARS’ Tina Majorino! TITANIC’s Billy Zane! And Broadway’s Norbert Leo Butz! (TV Addict note: Gratuitous use of exclamation marks denotes our off-the-charts level of excitement for this series)

COUGAR TOWN
According to the official ABC description: Co-executive produced by Courteney Cox and Bill Lawrence (SCRUBS), COUGAR TOWN is the single-camera comedy that dares to tell the truth about dating after divorce. Juggling a teenage son with her thriving career and budding love life isn’t easy, but before you know it, Jules will have you cheering, “Go Cougars!” 

According to the TV Addict: While we’re certainly not cheering for this cliché-ridden preview, we are willing to give any Bill Lawrence show the old college. Especially one that features an ex-FRIEND (Cox) and ALIENS IN AMERICA alum Dan Byrd in starring roles.

FLASH FORWARD
According to the official ABC description: A mysterious global event causes everyone to black out simultaneously for two minutes and seventeen seconds, and each person sees a glimpse of their lives six months from now. When they wake up, everyone is left wondering if what they saw will actually happen. 

According to this TV Addict: While creators David Goyer (THE DARK KNIGHT) and Brandon Braga (STAR TREK, 24) certainly have the proven track-record to make this high concept serialized drama work, this TV Addict can’t help but feel that ABC should have pressed pause on what will surely be a mythology-laden show until LOST ends its run next season.

HANK
According to the official ABC description: Sometimes scaling back is the best way to get ahead. Wall Street legend Hank Pryor (Kelsey Grammer) and his wife Tilly have been living the high life in New York City. That is until Hank is forced out of his CEO job and has to move his family back home to the small town of River Bend.

According to this TV Addict:  If Kelsey Grammer insists on playing yet another variation of his now iconic FRASIER character, the least he could do is bring co-stars David Hyde Pierce, Jane Leeves, Peri Gilpin and John Mahoney to up the LPM [Laughs per minute].

HAPPY TOWN
According to the official ABC description: From the executive producers of OCTOBER ROAD and LIFE ON MARS, comes the enthralling new drama, HAPPY TOWN. In the sleepy little hamlet of Haplin, Minnesota, not all secrets have been put to rest. 

According to this TV Addict: It’s what OCTOBER ROAD might have looked like if Physical Phil turned out to be a crazed killer. Color us intrigued.

THE MIDDLE
According to the official ABC description: Forget about athletes, movie stars and politicians. Parents are the real heroes — but Frankie Heck (Patricia Heaton), well she’s some kind of superhero. A loving wife and mother of three, she’s middle class in the middle of the country and is rapidly approaching middle age. 

According to this TV Addict: Patricia Heaton is no Jane Kaczmarek and if you’re asking us to choose between MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE retreads, our vote, with apologies to SCRUBS’ Janitor (Neil Flynn) goes to FOX’s SONS OF TUCSON.

EASTWICK
According to the official ABC description: Single-handedly, housewives accomplish astonishing things… and together, watch out. In the seaside village of Eastwick, this might just be evidence of their inner-witch rising to the surface. 

According to this TV Addict: Desperate Housewitches, really? Is it too late to bring back LIPSTICK JUNGLE?

V
According to the official ABC description: Today, the world woke up to find spaceships over every major city. The Visitors claim to have come in peace, bringing gifts of medical miracles and technological breakthroughs. They promise to do no harm. They’re lying.

According to this TV Addict: Professionalism be damned… OMG! OMG! OMG!

THE FORGOTTEN (Check back soon for a preview)
According to the official ABC description: Gone but not forgotten. That’s what they say. But what if a killer took your life — and your name? Every city has its share of unidentified murder victims. When standard police procedure fails to give them a name, that’s when the Identity Network steps in. 

According to this TV Addict: THE FORGOTTEN gets are pick for the fall’s most accurately titled show as come November, forgotten is exactly what this generic Jerry Bruckheimer procedural will be.

MODERN FAMILY (Check back soon for a preview)
According to the official ABC description: When the Pritchett, Delgado and Dunphy families agree to be interviewed by a documentary crew, they have no idea just how much they’re about to reveal about themselves. Jay Pritchett met the stunning Colombian Gloria when she bartended in a bikini at the pool party he threw for himself the day his wife left him.

Now Jay and Gloria are married and Jay tries hard to keep up with his much younger and hotter wife and her passionate teenage son, Manny. Claire Delgado is having a hard time raising her own family. Her husband Phil is great, except for the fact that he thinks he’s “down” with their teenage kids, much to their embarrassment. Mitchell Dunphy and his enthusiastic partner Cameron have just adopted Lily, a precious little baby girl from Vietnam. This engaging new comedy offers a ‘mockumentary’ view into the complicated, messy, loving life of three unique families.

According to this TV Addict: Although we have yet to see the official trailer for MODERN FAMILY, we’re finding very little not to love about THE OFFICE: Family edition.