COMMUNITY Fans: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid.
While NBC Entertainment Chairman Bob Greenblatt was quick to reinforce the fact that COMMUNITY has (a) not been canceled, and (b) will return to the air at a date to be determined in the Spring, he was slightly less forthright when asked about the potential of a fourth season. Translation: Fans of Greendale Community College should pretty much expect to hold their breath until the last possible moment (Read: the annual May Upfront) when a decision on the show’s future (or lack thereof) will be made based on NBC’s scheduling needs and pilot development.

“Sexytime” is coming to SVU
In a not-so-subtle attempt to re-energize the waning interest in NBC’s once dominant LAW & ORDER franchise, Greenblatt enthusiastically introduced a clip of SVU series star Mariska Hargitay expressing excitement for the show’s latest guest star Harry Connick Jr., who will be joining the show for a 4 episode arc as an assistant deputy attorney and love interest for Benson.

13 might be the new 22
In news that sure as heck won’t come as music to the ears of any of our fellow TV Addicts reading this, Greenblatt — whose previous job was that of President of Showtime Entertainment — spent an inordinate amount of time pointing to the advantages of cable. More to the point, Greenblatt foresees a day when the Networks move to more of a cable model with… wait for it… shorter seasons! “I don’t know if every show benefits from 22 episodes stretched across 9 months with all kinds of repeats,” said Greenblatt. “I think there are going to be some shows that benefit from compacted schedules and putting them on either in the fall or spring and the resting them and bringing them back the following year,”

NBC’s Fall was a Disaster
While news of NBC’s less that successful Fall probably won’t come as much of a surprise to all seventeen of you who sampled THE PLAYBOY CLUB, PRIME SUSPECT or FREE AGENTS, Greenblatt was very open about the Network’s lacklustre start to the season. And while he was quick to voice his support for the likes of WHITNEY, UP ALL NIGHT and GRIMM, he wasn’t shy about expressing his disappointment in PRIME SUSPECT (“Maybe I should just blame the hat and move on”), THE PLAYBOY CLUB (“It was just a rejected concept”) and FREE AGENTS (“Great elements don’t always equal a hit show”).

SMASH isn’t the be all or end all
Despite what the increasingly ubiquitous marketing campaign might have you believe, the fate of NBC’s midseason schedule doesn’t rest solely on SMASH’s shoulders. True, enough money to feed a mid-sized developing country has been put aside to market the show, and yes, very soon you won’t be able to turn on your television without hearing Katharine McPhee belt “Beautiful”, that said, expectations remain realistic. Said Greenblatt, “I think SMASH is going to be very important to us. I don’t believe it’s a make it or break it kind of show for us, but I think we’re proud of it and excited about what it could do.”

Best Return: VH1 announced they’d ordered 60 new episodes of the classic show POP UP VIDEO. (Wait, do people still make videos?)

Best Send-Off: While one never relishes seeing a talented actor such as Harry Lloyd loses the job security that comes with nabbing a role on a high profile cable series like GAME OF THRONES, if you gotta go… you might as well go in unforgettable fashion at the not-so-understanding hands of Khal Drogo. RIP Viserys Targaryen.

Worst Send-Off: If the idea behind GLEE’s Big Apple [Mis]-Adventure was to ensure fans wouldn’t miss the show while it’s off on summer hiatus, well, mission accomplished.
 
Most Embarrassing Display: One week into filming in Italy, the cast of JERSEY SHORE have already proved themselves to be the very definition of ugly Americans.

Dios Mio!: Telemundo surprised industry watchers by announcing they’d actively campaign to have their boffo novella — LA REINA DEL SUR (QUEEN OF THE SOUTH) — and its luminous star, Kate del Castillo, considered for primetime Emmy nominations!
  
The “Time To Call It Quits” Award Goes To… : The LAW & ORDER franchise. With the retooled L.A. version a bust and Christopher Meloni reportedly checking out of the showing-its-age SVU, it may be time to bid adieu to the best crime series in recent TV history.
 
Most Predictable Outrage: Gee, did anyone think the Parents TV Council would say, “You know, Britney and Rihanna really rocked that performance of S&M at the Billboard awards!” 
 
Best Reason To Locate Current-TV On Your Dial: Beginning August 1, Morgan Spurlock (Supersize Me) will host a series called 50 DOCUMENTARIES TO SEE BEFORE YOU DIE on the channel best known for its hiring of former MSNBC host Keith Olbermann.

Most Out Of Touch Executive: Brian Frons, head of daytime for ABC, told USA Today that “serials for the most part are Baby Boomer programs, and as Boomers age out of the key selling demographics, we need to look at alternatives.” Twitter immediately exploded with Boomers telling their despised nemesis exactly what he could do with “alternatives” THE CHEW and THE REVOLUTION.

Best Title Ever: Thanks to an absolutely hilarious season finale littered with memorable one-liners (Reasoned Penny “I made a big mistake.  I panicked.  I mean I’m an independent woman and everything but no matter how hard you sing to Liz Phair or how many women’s surf camps you go to, when the chips are down, you’re going fake fiance.”) , coupled with a surprise second season renewal by ABC, does any show continue to live up to its namesake like HAPPY ENDINGS?

Worst Title Ever: Okay, quick, someone tell us what ABC’s new series G.C.B. is about? Yeah, thought not.

Most Likely To Believe His Own Hype: MSNBC’s Lawrence O’Donnell loved callin’ Trump out on his ego, but THE LAST WORD’s host has developed a really annoying habit of congratulating himself on predicting everything from The Donald’s dropping out of the presidential race to the world not ending as “predicted” by a crackpot.

Least Shocking Death: What if a show killed a major character and nobody noticed… because nobody was watching? That’s the question we were left asking after LAW & ORDER: LA killed off Skeet Ulrich’s detective Rex Winters in  the first of two episodes — each of which also featured kids being murdered — as part of a revamp that was about as successful as New Coke.

Most Welcome Return: Despite the fact that Cameron’s direction of Luke and Manny’s middle-school musical was thisclose to giving Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark a run for its money, there was nothing we didn’t love about Wednesday’s MODERN FAMILY. Well, except for the fact that they went with the fake “555″ phone number for Phil’s poorly planned-out advertising campaign rather than take the SCRUBS approach that gave fans the actual opportunity to 916-CALL-TURK!
 
Worst. News. Ever, Primetime Division: Jill Wagner, the gal we’d most like to have laugh at our humiliation, will be leaving WIPEOUT.
 
Worst. News. Ever, Daytime Division: ABC dealt soap fans a double-blow by announcing that by the end of the year, both ALL MY CHILDREN and ONE LIFE TO LIVE would be replaced by reality shows.

Classiest Tribute: When Castle got together with Dennis Lehane and Michael Connelly for their traditional mystery writers’ poker game during Monday’s episode, a seat at the table was left empty in a incredibly classy nod to the dearly departed TV writer and author Stephen J. Cannell who succumbed to complications associated with melanoma on September 10, 2010.

The Every-Time-You-Think-He-Can’t-Be-A-Worse-Role-Model-He-Proves-You-Wrong Award Goes To: Charlie Sheen, who brought his Toronto show to a halt in order to step outside and quell his nicotine cravings by smoking a cigarette.
 
And the Most Embarrassing Moment in the History of Television Goes To…: Suffice to say, the only one more mortified than PARENTHOOD’s Adam and Kristina upon the realization that daughter Haddie had accidentally rang them up during coitus… was us. Who was so embarrassed that we actually had to fast-forward through the whole scene horror-movie styles.

Silliest Product Placement: Bonnie, you just survived a showdown with Klaus the most powerful “Original” known to man and what are you going to do next? Update you Facebook page courtesy of Jeremy’s Verizon AT&T MiFi! And speaking of cell phone companies…

News We Took Surprisingly Hard: Verizon is taking their ads in a new direction, meaning those annoying “Can You Hear Me Now?” commercials will be a thing of the past. Talk about not knowing what we had until it was (almost) gone. We miss you already, Phone Testing Guy!
 
Most Ridiculous Endorsement: Hugh Hefner tweeted that what he’d seen of the pilot for THE PLAYBOY CLUB “rocks.” Yeah, cause a guy who stands to make a mint off of it is going to say otherwise.
 
The “We Beg To Differ!” Award Goes To… : People magazine, which named Jennifer Lopez the World’s Most Beautiful Woman. Bet she wouldn’t have gotten that award if she weren’t on AMERICAN IDOL. Not that J-Lo’s not hot, clearly she is. But World’s Hottest? Obviously, that title belongs to Sofia Vergara of MODERN FAMILY!
 
The Picking-A-Fight-You-Don’t-Wanna-Pick Award Goes To… : Egomaniacal birther Donald Trump, who had the nerve to slam beloved comedian Bill Cosby for saying what the entire country’s been thinking: Run or shut up. (And frankly, we’re rooting for “shut up.”)
 
Biggest Head Scratcher: After eight episodes of pure unadulterated crazy, Philip showed a glimmer of normalcy during Wednesday’s episode of SURVIVOR. Raising the question: Are we crazy, or is there a tiny smidgen of a chance that Philip is actually in the process of the greatest con reality TV has ever seen?

Biggest Surprise: Despite the fact that the first half of SHAMELESS’ season had us wishing those poor Gallagher kids were more of a “Party of 6,” not-quite-father-of-the-year-candidate Frank deserves some serious credit for owning up to sleeping with son Lip’s not-quite-girlfriend Karen by taking his “golden shower” like a man.

Best Blowoff: After Ina Garten — aka the Barefoot Contessa — got herself in hot water by denying a 6-year-old’s Make-A-Wish request, the kid’s dad turned the tables on her by saying “thanks, but no thanks” when she realized the error of her ways. Personally, we think cancer patient Enzo made a great choice in trading the Contessa for a swim with dolphins!
  
Creepiest Practical Joke Ever: While his housemate was away, a Reddit user — Deluxe810 — transformed his roomie’s sleep space into a kill room like those used by DEXTER Morgan.

Creepiest Guest Appearance of the Week: Elizabeth Mitchell’s terrifying turn as a piano teacher accused of raping and killing a young girl on Wednesday’s LAW & ORDER: SVU may have solidified the talented actress’s chances at an outshining guest actor Emmy, but it gave us the willies.

Worst Export: Will anyone really be able to blame Canada when they declare war upon the United States after THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF TORONTO hits the airwaves?
 
Oddest Guest Gig: Wayne Brady looked both uncomfortable and confused while judging the final five contestants on RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE.
 
When Stunt Casting Goes Awry: Kourtney Kardashian’s appearance on ONE LIFE TO LIVE proved why acting should be left to professionals.
 
Quote Of The Week: “Snooki is an old Italian word for talentless slut,” said Steven Schirripa on CONAN.
 
Proof We’re All Doomed: MTV got its highest ratings in five years thanks to the season finale of JERSEY SHORE.

Reason #4234 We Love Twitter: Comes LOST executive producer @damonlindelof’s honest reaction to this week’s MAD MEN negations between AMC, Lionsgate and creator Matthew Weiner, “Not that I’m sour grapes, but TEN MILLION DOLLARS a year for 13 episodes of a single show seems pretty fair, no? #SOURGRAPES”

Reason #4235: Comes @sutterink’s follow up, “You can’t ask a network for 10 million, then bitch when they want to expand their ad revenue source. Whore or saint, pick one.”
 
Most Best Reason To Throw Your Cowboy Hat In The Air And Shout Yeehaw: FX renewed modern western JUSTIFIED for a third season.
 
The Lame Attempt To Get Publicity For A Failed Show Award Goes To…: Bravo, who this week announced that THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF MIAMI’s reunion show would be a live broadcast.
 
Most Disturbing Political Development: Does anybody really think that Donald Trump is going to run for president? No. So why is the coif-challenged blowhard being treated as a serious contender by news outlets and allowed to continue beating the birther drum, much to the not-so- secret delight of the GOP?
 
Bravo Series We’re Most Looking Forward To: PROJECT RUNWAY alum Chris March — known for his outrageous designs and over-the-top style — will headline MAD FASHION, in which his team develops flamboyant outfits for big-name clients.

Conspiracy of the Week: Is it just us, or did anyone else scream “product placement” following AMERICAN DAD’s completely bizarre and out of place riff on Major League Baseball that was perfectly timed to coincided with the start of the MLB season?

Best unintentional scheduling move of the week: Further evidence that laughter is in fact the best medicine came on Wednesday when ABC helped a nation, okay us, heal following an emotional and gut-wrenching address in Tucson by President Obama with what was hands down the funniest episode of MODERN FAMILY of the season. Seriously. What better way to forget all the horrors of the world by watching Mitchell jump to conclusions that a one night hook-up with special guest star Mary Lynn Rajskub 10 years ago resulted in the child he never knew he had!

Jaw Dropper of the Week (Literal): After over a season of waiting, V fans (and one really unlucky rodent) finally got a front row seat to Anna’s not-so-appetizing appetite. Yum.

Best Argument Against Big-Budget TV: On the same day in which FOX unveiled their bank-breaking new series TERRA NOVA to members of the media at the semi-annual TCA confab, CBS countered with their “what’s budget got to do with it argument” featuring an unbelievably compelling hour of THE GOOD WIFE. Suffice to say, special effects and Steven Spielberg are no match for Christine Baranski and Josh Charles.

Jaw Dropper of the Week (Metaphorical): 7.7 million people turned into the return of THE GAME on BET. Yup, still not over that.

Character Whose Story We’re Finally Digging: Let’s face it, for most of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES’ run, Gabrielle has been written as a woman who shows absolutely no growth despite having dealt with everything from being poor to having a blind husband. And then came the baby switch story, including this week’s sad tale of Princess Valerie. Kudos to Eva Longaria for taking this heartbreaking material and running with it.

Biggest Network Blunder: With the exception of the always-on-the-ball FOX network (Cait H. FTW!), viewers, particularly ABC fans were left scratching their head over a completely up-in-the air schedule as a result of President Obama’s Tucson address. It’s almost as if the Networks had no way to tweet, tumblr, post, or communicate in any way scheduling updates as they happen. Weird.

Biggest Network Blunder (Runner Up): Wondering how outgoing CW President Dawn Ostroff might be feeling this week following the astounding success of THE GAME on BET? Consider the following: If you combine the 7.7 million viewers that tuned into THE GAME with the 3.3 million viewers that stuck around for TOGETHER, you get 12.1 million viewers. Or, about equal to that of the number of viewers that tuned into the entirety of the CW’s primetime schedule this week. Ouch!

Sudsy Moment of the Week: ONE LIFE TO LIVE’s underappreciated, underused Susan Haskell took alter ego Marty’s temporary sanity to a new level of cray cray.

Jaw Dropper of the Week (Hilarious): While we in no way are here to encourage or condone the practice of High Schooler trading sexual favors for tutoring, we’re still laughing over what happened when Karen’s dad chased Lip and Ian out of his house on SHAMELESS.

The “Hopefully It’s Not Too Little, Too Late” Award: Thanks to A&E for the reality show BEYOND SCARED STRAIGHT, on which wanna-be thugs are shown that actions really do have consequences.

MVG of the Week: Our inaugural “Most Valuable Guest Star” of the week goes to Jeremy Irons, who injected some much needed believability into a laughable LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT that saw Stabler go undercover in an almost ridiculous attempt to infiltrate a Sex Addicts Anonymous group.

Most Telling Reaction: As REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA’s Kim prepared to go on tour for her singing “career”, daughter Brielle wasn’t phased a bit… until she learned mom’s assistant, Sweetie, was going. That brought the kid to tears. Guess we know who she’ll miss more!

The Week in Rewind Contributors: Couch Tater, Tiffany Vogt and the TV Addict.

According to NBC Entertainment President Angela Bromstad, “We believe in these new series and the creative auspices behind them. We are pleased with the quality of THE EVENT, LAW & ORDER: LOS ANGELES and OUTSOURCED, and feel they are an important part of helping to re-build our schedule and our studio pipeline. ”

According to us, we’ll leave what pick-ups fall under the category of “good,” “not-so-good,” and “For the love of all things holy what on earth does this mean for PARKS AND RECREATION?!” for you to interpret in the comments below.

What is it about this role that brought you back to television?
Terrence Howard: Well, I had just finished playing Nelson Mandela for nine months and one of the most important aspects of him was his legal appetite and his appetite for more rightness. Turns out, when we finished the movie, I wasn’t finished being a lawyer. So when I got the call from Dick [Wolf] to possibly join this team and work on something that was honest, challenging, and something with a great history, I mean, what do you say to that?

Throughout your career you’re known for bringing a certain level of intensity to your roles. How did you approach the role of DDA Jonah “Joe” Dekker?
The first thing that I did was to spend time in the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office. I actually spent a great deal of time exchanging numbers with a lot of different attorneys and judges there, who gave me the opportunity to sit down with them in the Judge’s Chambers, mock play some things out and walk me through the courtroom. One of the things that I learned from the (Lilly Gray) District Attorney here is that when you have a witness on the stand, you position yourself between that person and their attorney so that they can’t get cues from them. So picking up on little things like that, knowing how to approach a particular defendant, and speak with the authority of the law really gave me a better sense of being inside a courtroom and better prepared me for the role.

What have you found most challenging about this role?
The real challenge is that the cases are real occurrences or as close to real as you can get. I know real people’s lives were affected by what we’re doing and the choices that we’re making so to make them all personal while still trying to remain professionally distant from them, it’s hard. It’s like there’s an episode that I ended-up breaking down and crying while I was questioning somebody on the stand. Now I know that that doesn’t really work for television, but I became emotionally involved with what she had gone through. So the most challenging things is trying to not become the father in the situation but just be the attorney.

Can you talk about the similarities between actors and attorneys and how that’s useful when stepping into character?
I’ve often been told that great attorneys would be tremendous actors and actors would make marvelous attorneys. Anytime you’re sitting inside of a situation where you have to adapt to an audience, a jury, and be forced to improvise because of new information being presented or a change in the script or a change, well, all of those things are just part of being present and in the moment. And I think most great attorneys — prosecuting attorneys or trial lawyers — have to be very present in the moment, they have to listen, and they have to have an intelligent response. They’re great debaters, actors and attorneys.

How does signing on to a series that could potentially last for a decade impact your movie career?
You know what’s interesting, a couple of years ago I was in Toronto and I bumped into a friend of mine Reese Witherspoon and she said to me, she said you’re doing too many movies. You’re doing too many movies so I had to think about what she was saying and it was true. I was just jumping on whatever I could jump on because I just wanted to keep working. With this TV show, I’ll do less films — mabye one or two good movies a year — but better quality films.

LAW & ORDER: LOS ANGELES airs Wednesday night at 10PM on NBC (“A” Channel in Canada)

Attention TV Addicts: Come September, assuming you’re still living in the stone-age (translation: unlucky enough to not own a DVR) you’re screwed you’ve got some fairly big decisions ahead of you. CASTLE versus HAWAII FIVE-0! PARENTHOOD versus THE GOOD WIFE! THE BIG BANG THEORY versus COMMUNITY! Suffice to say, it’s the TV Addict equivalent of Sophie’s Choice. And why, as we inch closer and closer to our favorite time of the year (read: Fall TV!) we’ll be spending some time shining the spotlight on a few of the week’s most compelling time-slot showdowns. Tonight we tackle Wednesday’s at 9PM where CBS’ gruesome CRIMINAL MINDS will face-off against NBC’s often more-chilling LAW & ORDER: SVU.

In CRIMINAL MINDS’ favor: Despite making headlines over the summer with the incredibly high-profile firing of AJ Cook and demotion of Paget Brewster, heading into its sixth season CRIMINAL MINDS remains one of CBS’ most consistent performers. A performance that we have a feeling will only get stronger as more fans tune in to discover how MINDS deals with the impending cast changes and media interest grows in the mid-season CRIMINAL MINDS spin-off SUSPECT BEHAVIOR. That, and having a resurgent SURVIVOR fresh-off one of its strongest seasons to date as a lead-in certainly won’t hurt matters.

In LAW & ORDER SVU’s favor: Assuming loyal fans can find the show — which has seen more timeslots than we can count in a failed effort by NBC to plug countless holes in their schedule courtesy of the failed experiment that was JAY LENO — SVU should see a bump in viewers thanks to the interest surrounding its Wednesday lead-in UNDERCOVERS. The highly-anticipated new series from JJ Abrams which should provide for a far more solid lead-in than last season’s little watched MERCY.

The Winner: Is for you to decide in the comments below, particularly since we’ll be busy watching MODERN FAMILY, COUGAR TOWN and possibly recording HELLCATS. That said, in sticking with the gruesome criminal theme we’ve got going here — gun to our head — we’d give CRIMINAL MINDS the edge in the ratings department. After-all, what CBS viewers lack in internet savvy, they more than make up for in viewer loyalty.

On March 3, LAW & ORDER: SVU will lighten things up just a wee bit when Kathy Griffin drops by as the leader of a lesbian rights group. Playing what the comedian calls “the lesbian Al Sharpton”, Griffin’s character Babs Duffy arrives on the scene following a string of deaths she claims is as a result of police neglect. “Here’s the deal, I’m not going to tell you exactly what I do because this show is all about figuring it out when you see it,” teases Griffin as only the funny lady can. “But one of the crimes I commit is that I kiss pretty much everything on the show. So Straight dudes and lesbians, get ready, because Office Benson is having her first gay kiss and it was these lips.” Adding, “My performance is so powerful they might just give me an Oscar.” But hey, don’t take her word for it, judge for yourself with more first look videos after the jump.