DOWNTON ABBEY! AMERICAN HORROR STORY! DATING NAKED! CASTLE! The TV Addict Week in Rewind!

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Best Response: After being taken to task for a publicity shot featuring a very un-period plastic water bottle, the cast of DOWNTON ABBEY took another pic mocking the mistake.

Most Unexpected Connection: MASTERS OF SEX’s Libby was shocked — and so were we — to discover that Coral’s supposed lover was actually her brother!

Least Likely To Get Fired: Before drenching Julie Chen as part of the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Will Arnett declared, “I’ve got to say, I don’t think this is a good idea, to do this to the bosses wife, but I’m gonna do it.” Of course, her husband — CBS head honcho Les Moonves was the one who challenged the Chenbot. And, just to make sure it wasn’t at all tacky or seen as using something awesome for less than awesome purposes, he challenged her to do it live on BIG BROTHER.

Longest Search: After doing everything but hold cattle calls, THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS finally filled the role of Adam, vacated after portrayer Michael Muhney was fired in a firestorm of scandalous accusations. The new Adam will be (drumroll, please) Justin Hartley, most recently of REVENGE and MISTRESSES.

Least Likely To Understand His Place: Ian Ziering wants a raise for the third flick in the ZIERINGNADO series. Oh, wait. That’s not what it’s called?

Best Early Halloween Treat: FX announced that AMERICAN HORROR STORY: FREAK SHOW will debut on October 8. [Read more...]

OUTLANDER! DOWNTON ABBEY! THE WALKING DEAD! GENERAL HOSPITAL! MISTRESSES! BIG BROTHER! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Funniest “Blooper”: An official DOWNTON ABBEY photo features Lady Edith, her loving father… and a very modern plastic water bottle!

Best Comeback: After being left hanging by Caleb, BIG BROTHER’s Frankie still managed to win a two-man competition all by himself.

Shortest Strike: A walk-out by SURVIVOR’s editors ended a day later when their issues were addressed by the production company.

Biggest Irony: With its programming increasingly being hate-watched and debunked, it would appear that Shark Week has, in fact, jumped the shark.

Quickest Wedding: Moments after being stood up by would-be beau Liam, THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Hope took the plunge (literally) by jumping into a marriage with his brother, Wyatt, and leaping off a yacht! [Read more...]

THE BIG BANG THEORY! MISTRESSES! Y&R! BIG BROTHER! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Richest Nerds: THE BIG BANG THEORY cast finally wrapped a deal that will give them all pay checks pretty much anyone short of Bill Gates would envy. Because why shouldn’t people pretending to be smart make more money than, you know, teachers and scientists and others who actually are.

Best Reaction: Awakened in the night by her cop mom being summoned to a crime scene, MURDER IN THE FIRST’s Louise reacted as only a tired six-year-old can by insisting, “These murders have got to stop!”

Most Susceptible: MISTRESSES’ Josslyn never thought of Harry as more than her brother-in-law… until it was put in her head how sexy he is. Turns out, there are none so blind as those who will not see!

Least Surprising Cancellation: The biggest shock where BLACK BOX getting the axe is concerned is that ABC waited this long.

Best Drinking Buddy: CBS announced that FAMILY TIES alum Meredith Baxter will join THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS as Maureen, who’ll belly up to the bar with newly off-the-wagon alcoholic Nikki. [Read more...]

THE LEFTOVERS! 24! ONCE UPON A TIME! GENERAL HOSPITAL! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Proof “They” Don’t Always Know: Despite media experts telling anyone who’d listen that SHARKNADO 2 would prove a ratings disappointment, the cheesy sequel brought in 3.9 million viewers to set a record for SyFy Channel flicks.

Hardest To Watch: While the Guilty Remnant have creeped us out from the very beginning of THE LEFTOVERS, the stoning death of Gladys was downright brutal… even for this relentlessly depressing series.

Least Shocking Shocker: Come on… given everything you’ve ever read about Kiefer Sutherland, are you really surprised by allegations that he’s a pain in the butt to work with?

Best Return: Ah, it’s so good having bad girl Kristen DiMera (and portrayer Eileen Davidson) back on DAYS OF OUR LIVES!

Cheekiest Theft: If you were hoping to see more of sexy Detective Hosko on REVENGE next season, you’re outta luck. Portrayer Tyler Jacob Moore — best known as SHAMELESS’ Tony — was grabbed up by ONCE UPON A TIME, where he’ll play Frozen’s Prince Hans. [Read more...]

BIG BROTHER! MISTRESSES! UNDER THE DOME! ALL MY CHILDREN! HANNIBAL! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Best Ad Placement: Even as BIG BROTHER’s Caleb continued to creepily obsess over fellow housemate Amber, the bottom half of the screen featured a large ad for the upcoming CBS show STALKER.

Most Likely To Be In Denial: Sure, MISTRESSES’ Joss insists that she and Harry have never — and would never — been anything more than friends. But come on… haven’t we all suspected she’d hook up with her former brother-in-law pretty much since day one?

Biggest Waste Of Time: Even the bloopers, usually a highlight of THE BACHELORETTE: THE MEN TELL ALL, were lame this season, with pimpage of THE BACHELOR IN PARADISE running longer than behind-the-scenes-blunders package.

Coolest Return: THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS alum Shemar Moore will return to the soap — where he played swoonworthy shutterbug Malcolm Winters — for two days in September. While fans are hoping Malcolm might be bringing divalicious Drucilla (as played by Victoria Rowell) along for the ride, I’ll settle for him slapping some sense into his unlucky-in-love big brother, Neil!

Best Revenge: Proving that turnabout is fair play, THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Ridge — recently dumped from a helicopter (ya had to be there) — got rival Bill to confess he was responsible by… well, how else? Taking the tycoon for a terrifying helicopter flight of his own!

Details To Come: CBS signed a deal with mega-popular author James Patterson. One can only assume, based on the trajectory of his writing career, said contract involves writing a few really great episodes of a TV series, then slumming for a buck by allowing the network to pump out a bunch of crap with his name on it but “co-written” by crappier scribes.

Least Teachable Moment: This week’s THE LEFTOVERS had us Googling the term “Roman helmet” after one was given to the saddest town on the planet’s fake baby Jesus. Huh. Coulda gone my whole life not knowing what that term meant! [Read more...]

24! MISTRESSES! BIG BROTHER! GENERAL HOSPITAL! TCA! NCIS! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Least Happy Ending: Man, talk about a crappy day. 24′s Jack lost his one-time love, Audrey, and wound up in Russian custody as the season ended. On the plus side, he did save the world (again) and get to behead a dude.

Most Likely To Be Arrested For Stalking: BIG BROTHER’s Caleb is proving to be a guy who won’t take no for an answer where Amber is concerned.

Truest Philosophy: “Men generally don’t dump young women for older women,” mused MISTRESSES’ Karen. “They dump young women for younger women. I really don’t like younger women.”

Lamest Rose Ceremony: After Andi booted farmer Chris, THE BACHELORETTE insisted on going through with a rose ceremony… despite the fact nobody would be eliminated and there was absolutely zero chance of creepy Nick or lunkhead Josh rejected the proffered flower.

Deadliest Finale: WGN’s SALEM wrapped up a killer season by knocking off several characters, challenging relationships, shifting loyalties and leaving us hanging like the proverbial accused witch until Season 2 kicks off in April!

Lamest Fake-Out: Fox endlessly promoted HELL’S KITCHEN in such a way as to make viewers — well, really dumb viewers — think perhaps President Obama would be dining in the not-so-fine establishment. Instead, the security-surrounded, limo-driven guests were… the families of the cheftestaints.

Saddest (Fictional) Death: GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Rafe bit the dust following a car accident, and I’m not sure which was more tear-enducing… the gorgeously directed scenes in which the character was taken off life-support, or the fact that the soap axed his talented portrayer, Jimmy Deshler. (As many fans were quick to point out, however, Rafeis kinda sorta the son of a possible vampire, and heaven knows most of the show’s characters have made return trips from the grave… ) [Read more...]

EXTANT! RECKLESS! GLEE! CSI! MISTRESSES! BIG BROTHER! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Thing We Are Apparently Required To Discuss: The Emmy nominations came out, and it was a total outrage that (blank) was snubbed while (blank), a talentless hack, was recognized. Insert pointless rage here.

Lesson Least Likely To Be Learned: Yet again, the major networks and their increasingly bland programming were all but shut out of Emmy nominations. But there’s always next year, and I’m sure there’ll be a fierce Outstanding Drama battle between CBS’ SCORPION and ABC’s GALAVANT… right.

Best Revenge: DAYS OF OUR LIVES’ Sami had her man jailed for tax evasion and then took over his international conglomerate. Next time that forever-plotting, rarely succeeding Emily Thorne chick needs to formulate a plan, she should give Sami a ring!

The “Something For Everyone” Award Goes To… : Bruno Heller, executive producer of GOTHAM, who said the Batman prequel would be “fun and dark”, adding “it’s sexy, but dangerous. It’s a world of craziness and a world of beauty.” Sounds like it’s designed for people who felt like BLACK BOX wasn’t schizophrenic enough.

Worst Spoilers: The pilot of EXTANT would have been a billion times more enjoyable had not the endless ads run by CBS in the months leading up to its premiere not ruined every single plot twist, including the final scene! [Read more...]

SURVIVOR! MISTRESSES! THE BACHELORETTE! GENERAL HOSPITAL! Y&R! BIG BROTHER! TRUE BLOOD! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Saddest News: SURVIVOR: BLOOD & WATER star Caleb Bankston, a conductor on the Alabama Warrior Railway, was crushed to death between 2 rail cars following a train derailment in Birmingham,

Most Calculated Move: Given how easy it was for various sites to dig up racist, homophobic comments made by BIG BROTHER contestant Caleb Reynolds, one has to assume that CBS either didn’t properly vet houseguests (despite last year’s controversy) or ignored what they found in an effort to garner exactly the same kind of buzz such revelations have produced in the past.

Best Performance: Only days after losing the Daytime Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actor to former castmate Billy Miller (ex-Billy), THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ Doug Davidson gave the performance of a lifetime — and all but assured his win next year — as alter ego Paul dealt with the aftermath of a liver transplant, the anniversary of his son’s death and finding out he had a child he didn’t know about.

Easiest To Please: HELL’S KITCHEN celebrity diner Minnie Driver was downright thrilled when Gordon Ramsay jokingly told her to “F$^@ off!” after she offered a critique of the scallops.

Biggest Fiasco: In an attempt to bring in younger eyeballs, four “social media gurus” were hired to host the Daytime Emmys red carpet. What they got for their money was drug jokes, borderline racist remarks and an opportunity to prove whether or not it’s true that there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Most Public Dis: In discussing why the six-week test of Kris Jenner’s chatfest, KRIS, bombed, network exec Frank Cicha told The Hollywood Reporter, “When the camera was on, she looked not just like a deer in the headlights, but like a deer that already got hit.” Ouch. True, but… ouch.

Best Scheme Team: THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Quinn and Deacon might as well have matching shirts reading “double” and “trouble”! [Read more...]

DAYS OF OUR LIVES! BREAKING BAD! AMERICAN IDOL! GAME OF THRONES! TRUE BLOOD! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Oddest Scheduling Move: AMC announced that it had renewed BETTER CALL SAUL for a second season despite it not having aired a single episode. Then, they revealed that the show wouldn’t even debut until 2015, with the second season dropping in 2016. Whatever. Just let me know when it hits Netflix and I can binge watch.

Most Welcome Denial: Michelle Dockery told The Hollywood Reporter that, contrary to rumors, she would not be leaving DOWNTON ABBEY.

Best Twist: After weeks of having E.J. and Abigail try to keep his bride-to-be from finding out about their tryst, DAYS OF OUR LIVES yanked the rug out from under viewers by revealing that Sami has known for ages! As Sami said to a portrait of ubervillain Stefano, “What is it you always say? Revenge is a dish best served cold? I’m on it!”

Worst Product Placement: Police accused two New York City men of distributing heroine — linked to the deaths of several people — in envelopes stamped with the BREAKING BAD logo.

The TMI Award Goes To… : Former BACHELOR contestant Courtney Robertson who, in promoting her new book about the experience, revealed that she and the titular hunk, Ben Flajnik, had sex in the ocean, but “only for about 20 seconds and, um, it was just the tip.” In other words, she didn’t get the whole Big Ben experience. [Read more...]

GAME OF THRONES! PENNY DREADFUL! DUCKY DYNASTY! CSI! GENERAL HOSPITAL! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Grandest Epic: With giants and wooly mammoths and lovers dying in one another’s arms, battles don’t get bigger than the one waged on the season’s penultimate GAME OF THRONES episode.

Best Backstory: At last, we know why PENNY DREADFUL’s Vanessa feels so guilty. No wonder the girl has issues!

Least Surprising Development: Realizing that I WANNA MARRY HARRY was a royal failure, Fox flushed the one-joke reality show. In related news, TVLine reports that US & THEM — a remake of the British series GAVIN AND STACEY — will never air. Because, you know, the scripted sitcom wasn’t up to the high standards of the network that brought us… all together now… I WANNA MARRY HARRY.

Most Curmudgeonly Star: Everybody’s favorite grouch-who-isn’t-named-Oscar will star in the Lifetime movie GRUMPY CAT’S WORST CHRISTMAS EVER.

Sweetest Tribute: TV Land will honor the late Ann B. Davis with a 12-hour BRADY BUNCH marathon running from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Saturday. Call Sam the butcher and order something special to serve on TV trays while watching.

Lamest Defense: DUCK DYNASTY’s executive producer said that gay-bashing star Phil Robertson treats the crew “that has several gay people on it” well. I bet some of his best friends are black, too, huh? [Read more...]