SCANDAL! GOTHAM! GREY’S ANATOMY! SNL! FAMILY GUY! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Richest Nerd: “I have two billion, four hundred thousand, eighty-seven dollars and thirty-eight cents,” declared SCANDAL’s Huck as the bidding for Olivia got underway.

Least Missed: Sorry, Barbara, but since Leslie arrived in GOTHAM, Jim hasn’t given you a second thought… and neither have we.

Worst Guest List: There was not one likeable person attending the birthday party around which THE SLAP revolved, making it hard to care much about what happened.

Best Entrance: With the arrival of Raven-Symoné’s Olivia and her kid, EMPIRE — often described by its creators as a black take on DYNASTY — got its Sammy Jo.

Best Cliffhanger: After months of being blind — literally and figuratively — to the fact his wife and son were sleeping together, THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ Neil revealed that he’d gotten his sight back and prepared to blast them!

Most Missed: THE BACHELOR’s Kelsey — you know, the cray cray widow who tried to hijack the show? — was the best thing about this season. And the producers obviously know it, since they’re making a big deal about interviewing the newly-ousted contestant on the next episode! [Read more...]

FRESH OFF THE BOAT! EMPIRE! THE MINDY PROJECT! GENERAL HOSPITAL! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Best Twist: EMPIRE’s Cookie ordered a hit on the person who’d been threatening her… only to find out she’d actually had an innocent man executed!
 
Least Twisted Twist: Despite lots of buzz about how this week’s THE MINDY PROJECT would end, the lead character’s pregnancy wasn’t exactly a stunner.
 
Trend We Want To Encourage: Bravo, home to more trashy reality shows than any other network, renewed it’s first scripted series, GIRLFRIENDS’ GUIDE TO DIVORCE, for a second season.
 
Best Hashtag: Brian Williams of NBC News admitted he “made a mistake in recalling the incidents of 12 years ago.” From there, Twitter took over with the hashtag #BrianWilliamsMemories following statements such as “I didn’t inhale” and “I created the Internet, then Post-It Notes.” 
 
Best Surprise: Despite fears, FRESH OFF THE BOAT was not offensive… and actually managed to be pretty darn funny! [Read more...]

REVENGE! THE BACHELOR! EMPIRE! GENERAL HOSPITAL! JANE THE VIRGIN! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Lamest Villain: REVENGE made a big deal about ubervillain Malcolm… who was offed a couple episodes later. Seriously? What is wrong with this show? And who do we need to talk to in order to get it back on track?

Best Date: Sure, they arrived in a limo and sipping champagne, but thanks to guest host Jimmy Kimmel, THE BACHELOR and Katelyn wound up shopping at Costco “like real couples do.”

Most Ready To Sit In Judgement: With Mary Murphy having boarded the hot tamale train leaving the SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE station, Paula Abdul is set to join Jason Derulo, Nigel Lythgoe and longtime host Cat Deeley at the judges table. Look for Abdul to find new and interesting ways in which to compliment people who are truly awful.

Least Aware Of What They Are Selling: Continuing to completely ignore its own name, the network Animal Planet is adding a show called INSANE POOLS to a line-up that already includes such animal-less offerings as TANKED and TREEHOUSE MASTERS.

Best Rivalry: Put EMPIRE’s Cookie and Anika in the same room, and a good time is guaranteed. [Read more...]

PARENTHOOD! EMPIRE! REVENGE! THE GOOD WIFE! THE BACHELOR! GENERAL HOSPITAL! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Most Noble Sacrifice: Sure, we’ll miss REVENGE’s Daniel, but the fallout from his death has made this show more interesting than it’s been since Season 1.

Best Character: The moment EMPIRE’s Cookie strode out of prison, portrayer Taraji P. Henson immediately stole the show, helping make it the best pilot to hit the airwaves in years.

Best Prop: THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Rick took down the portrait of late patriarch Stephanie and replaced it with one of his mistress, Maya. That sound you heard? Jaws hitting the floor left and right.

Most Likely To Trigger Ugly Crying: If you didn’t weep through the silent opening moments of PARENTHOOD’s 100th episode, you might not be human.

Biggest Waste Of Time: Three hours of THE BACHELOR proved that you really can get too much of a not-so-great-to-begin-with thing.

Most Unique Twist: As THE GOOD WIFE’s Cary prepared himself for a seemingly inevitable stint behind bars, he hired a consultant who advised him on everything from who to befriend to how to eat in order to avoid glass being put in his food. [Read more...]

THE SIMPSONS! SURVIVOR! Y&R! GIRLS! AMERICAN HORROR STORY! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Dirtiest Sounding Innocent Conversation: During an exchange on TOP CHEF, hostess Padma Lakshmi and guest judge Rob Gronkowski judged a sausage-cooking challenge. “I eat a lot,” he admitted, adding, “I need a big sausage.” With a wicked grin, Padma said with a smile, “Me, too!” Much blushing and tittering ensued.

Series We’re Pronouncing DOA Sight Unseen: Sorry, USA, but when you hired show-killer Christian Slater to head the cast of MR. ROBOT, you made it about as likely to succeed as my next diet.

Best Break-Up: THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL’s Katie finally told Ridge that the song suggests a man who likes it put a “ring” on it, not a red ribbon. Best of all, the pair’s engagement came to an end without screaming or accusations, but rather in a quiet series of scenes that still managed to pack a huge emotional punch.

Why The Elves Are Grumpy: “Santa doesn’t do payraises,” said THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ Paul while dressed as the gift-giving chubbser.

Why I Feel Old This Week: THE SIMPSONS debuted 25 years ago this week… and I remember when they were just a segment on THE TRACY ULLMAN SHOW. Someone, shoot me. Please? [Read more...]

JANE THE VIRGIN! REVENGE! GENERAL HOSPITAL! ONCE UPON A TIME! THE NEWSROOM! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Coolest Breakthrough: At long last, someone has recognized that there are praise-worthy programs on The CW, with JANE THE VIRGIN scoring that network’s first Golden Globe nods.

Least Special “Special” Ever: Everyone at Discovery should be ashamed of their involvement with EATEN ALIVE… although I suspect that instead, they are gleefully planning a follow-up to what proved to be a ratings bonanza for the channel.

Lamest Resolution: I get that fairy tales are all about happy endings, but after weeks of the Ice Queen storyline, ONCE UPON A TIME basically wrapped things up with a Grinch-like “her heart grew three sizes that day and everything was awesome!”

Least Shocking Death: Given that portrayer Josh Bowman had made it pretty clear in various interviews how unhappy he was with his character’s trajectory, it wasn’t entirely surprising when REVENGE’s Daniel took a bullet for Emily.

Coolest Casting: Honestly, I’d have been disappointed if Ryan Murphy hadn’t landed HALLOWEEN star Jamie Lee Curtis for the upcoming SCREAM QUEENS!

Best Reaction: When THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ Michael finally revealed to wife Lauren that he had cancer, the beauty laughed heartily. Why? She had suspected for weeks that he was cheating on her. Her laughter was as shocking as it was believable in the moment. [Read more...]

SCANDAL! HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER! OUAT! Y&R! GREY’S ANATOMY! ONCE UPON A TIME! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Lamest/Best Reveal: While unmasking Wes as Sam’s killer on HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER wasn’t particularly shocking, the fact that Annalise has known from the beginning sent our jaws dropping to the floor!
 
Saddest Scandal: Remember when the name Bill Cosby made you think of sweater collections and Jell-O?
 
Worst Procrastinator: THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ Jack has put off telling girlfriend Kelly that he’s engaged to another woman. Given that the other woman once ran down a romantic rival, this seems like a situation he might wanna handle… pronto!  
 
Best Public Service Announcement: The Parents TV Council — aka the self-proclaimed guardians of morality — called a SONS OF ANARCHY scene “the most sexually explicit content [we have] ever documented on basic cable.” In response, horndogs everywhere said, “Thanks, I have to check that out! Um, can I get on your mailing list so I don’t miss out next time something like this airs?”
 
Biggest Transformation: After being lied to by everyone he loves, GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Michael dumped his girlfriend, changed his last name and developed a helluva mean streak. Want proof? “Not only are you a liar,” he told his newly-dumped ex, “but you’re an idiot, too!” Ouch.
 
Line That Really Needs To Be On A T-Shirt: Who wouldn’t buy one bearing the GREY’S ANATOMY quote, “Stop stealing my orgasms!”
 
Biggest Hypocrite: It pains us to say this, but Jon Stewart, after spending so much time trash-talking CNN, it’s a major sell-out that you’ve run to them twice in the past few weeks to pimp your movie.  [Read more...]

SCANDAL! SURVIVOR! GENERAL HOSPITAL! SUPERNATURAL! GREY’S ANATOMY! REVENGE! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Best Parting Line: “You think the world is so terrible with me in it?” SCANDAL’s Rowan asked daughter Olivia as the men hired to bring him in were gunned down feet away. “Wait ’til you see what it’s like without me.”

Funnest Outing: Watching SUPERNATURAL’s high school musical left us wondering why nobody has brought the TV show to Broadway. It’s gotta be better than 50 Shades: The Musical. And yes, that’s a real thing.

Least Necessary Revival: Okay, who out there was begging for another season of THE OSBOURNES? Whoever you are, the rest of us are really annoyed.

Grossest Chatter: Proving that sometimes, reality-TV can be a little too real, SURVIVOR spent far too much of this week’s episode discussing bodily functions.

Most In Need Of An After-Dinner Mint: TV’s CAKE BOSS Buddy Valastro was arrested by the NYPD on charges of driving while intoxicated. [Read more...]

GENERAL HOSPITAL! GREY’S ANATOMY! SVU! THE WALKING DEAD! REVENGE! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Most Prophetic Letter: The residents of UTOPIA were told that the social experiment was “about to change forever.” Sure enough, two days after the episode aired, Fox’s reality show was axed.

Cruelest Stunt: The Discovery Channel is planning to air a special in which a man is EATEN ALIVE by a snake. Given that a camera can easily see the inside of any creature in a much safer, more humane way, this is the sort of crap that any network — let alone one supposedly dedicated to education and science — should be ashamed of.

Twistiest Twist: GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Ava revealed that babynapper Nina’s mad mama, Madeline, had actually paid her to seduce Silas all those years ago.

Biggest Shock: Out of the blue, fans of THE BOLD & THE BEAUTIFUL found out that Kim Matula — whose Hope has pretty much been at the center of the show for the past two years — is exiting the canvas and had already taped her final episode.

Most-Made Joke: Practically every outlet covering the election-night results referred to AMERICAN IDOL runner-up Clay Aiken’s failed campaign as him coming in second again. Including, as of now, us.

Least Shocking Shock, Part I: Did anyone watching GREY’S ANATOMY not figure out that Geena Davis’ Dr. Herman was dying before she made her dramatic pronouncement? Anyone? Bueller? [Read more...]

REVENGE! THE WALKING DEAD! HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER! AMERICAN HORROR STORY! THE MIDDLE! The TV Addict Week in Rewind

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Best Music Cue: Harry Nilsson’s “Everybody’s Talkin’” drifting across the dunes beautifully connected REVENGE’s newly-undead David with the daughter he now mistakenly believes deceased.

Least Shocking Secret: Did anybody not figure out that THE WALKING DEAD’s Gabriel had locked out his parishioners before he revealed what he’d done?

Joke That Made Me Feel Crazy Old: Watching THE MIDDLE’s Axl try to figure out how to use a rotary phone was as funny as it was real to a whole lotta kids.

Saddest Parting: After two decades of playing scheme queen Sami Brady, Alison Sweeney left DAYS OF OUR LIVES, although the show wisely left the door open for the beauty and her sometimes beastly alter ego to return down the line should she so desire.

Worst Wedding Date: Couples on both GENERAL HOSPITAL and THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS planned to tie the knot on Halloween, and both found themselves dealing with very nasty tricks that were not a treat for anyone but viewers.

Coolest Move: It was a trickless treat for viewers when ABC actually benched GREY’S ANATOMY for a night in order to show THE GREAT PUMPKIN, CHARLIE BROWN. Let’s hear it for family shows in what was once considered the family hour! [Read more...]