It’s official, CANADA ROCKS! The country that has given the world so much — Jim Carrey, Hockey, Pamela Anderson, Celine Dion! — now gives us ROBIN SPARKLES!
While it wasn’t a surprise, thanks to theTVaddict.com’s tease last week, Robin’s secret identity lead to one of the funniest episode ever of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER.
The episode was so simple, yet brilliantly so. Line after line of hilarious dialogue leading up to the big reason that Robin hates malls. Apparently, Robin had one hit song as a Canadian Pop Sensation. As her alter ego ROBIN SPARKLES, Robin spent a year touring Canadian malls singing her hit song — LET’S GO TO THE MALL (and living off Wetzel’s Pretzel and Orange Julius). By the way, you can check out the song, her video on her MySpace page by clicking here.
I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention the big Slap-Bet Competition between Marshall and Barney. Marshall bet Barney that Robin was secretly married in Canada, while Barney thought she appeared in Canadian porn (much different than American porn, as apparently Canadians don’t have breast implants!). When Barney finally lost, Slap-Bet commissioner Lilly ruled that Barney could choose between 10 slaps right away or five slaps whenever Marshall felt like it. Personally I would have definitely picked the 10 slap-bets right away. Five slaps are so much worse when you don’t know they’re coming.
Some of my favourite lines:
Marshall: This was in the 90s, why does this look like it’s from 1897?
Robin: Because the Eighties didn’t come to Canada until like ’93
Robin: Yes it’s true, I was a Pop Star in Canada.
Marshall: Looks like somebody suffered from premature slapulation.
And here they are, in case you want to sing along. The lyrics to ‘Let’s Go To The Mall’. I’ve taken the liberty of highlighting the Canadian Content in Red for all my American Friends!
Come’on Jessica, Come’on Tory
Let’s go to the mall, You won’t be Sorry
Put on your jelly bracelets
And your cool graffiti coat
At the mall having fun is what it’s all about
I haven’t done my homework yet (that’s okay)
And you know how my parents get (whatever)
I don’t care
‘Cause all my friends are gonna to be there
Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let’s go to the mall (laughs) today
There’s this boy I like
Met him at the food court
He’s got hair like Gretzky
And he does jumps on his skateboard
Hope he asks me out
Take me to my favourite spot
It will be just him and me
But don’t forget the robot (in robot voice)
Dad says I’m too young to date
But baby i don’t want to wait
That’s okay I’m going to rock your body anyway
I’m going to rock your body till Canada Day
Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let’s go to the mall (laughs) today
(Robin Raps)
I went to the mall with a couple of friends
I have a whole weeks allowance to spend
I want hoop earrings and a Benetton shirt
We came here to shop and we came here to flirt
I turned around and who should i see
Prime Minister Brian Mulroney
He said, young lady I don’t approve
So i had to get down and bust a move
(Rap Over)
Let’s go to the mall everybody
Everybody come and play
Throw every last care away
Let’s go to the mall (laughs) today