Signs You May Want To Change Flights (Or You’re A LOST Addict)

Well, my flight’s delayed. So in an effort to make the time pass faster, I think it’s time to start making snap judgements about my fellow passengers. Oh please, don’t sit there and pretend you don’t do it to. We all know what we’re talking about here. So let’s start suspiciously looking around for signs that I should switch flights.

Do I see a really good looking Asian couple arguing? Does the woman look as happy to be married as Katie Holmes? Is she secretly carrying an ‘English for Dummies’ book?

Do I see an overweight white guy who looks like he belongs in ‘Celebrity Fit Club’ rather than this airport?

Does my gate contain any of the numbers 4 8 15 16 23 42? (For the record, I’m at Gate 12)

Is the guy sitting beside me tall, sullen and full of tattoos? Well, yes actually — but it’s not Matthew Fox so I think I’m okay.

Is there an older white bald man in a wheelchair who looks really disappointed because he’s been rejected from his hunting trip as a result of his condiiton? Are you kidding? how spooky would that be? Although, there are two older Black women near the gate door, and if one of them’s named Rose, I’m outta here.