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After last night’s HEROES, a friend called to complain about the fact that five years had passed since the fictional destruction of New York City and yet it looked as if nothing had been done. All we could suggest was that she check out the site of the World Trade Center to get an idea of just how shamefully accurate HEROES depiction actually was.

The first half of the third season of DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES was a definite improvement over basically anything in the second season, but recent weeks have been a snooze. Bree’s MIA thanks to her portrayer’s forced maternity leave, Susan is a completely unrelatable (not to mention horribly selfish) cartoon character and Lynette’s story is, at this point, predictable. With no unifying mystery, the dark edge we’ve come to expect is MIA. There are bright spots — John Slattery (Victor) remains one of the most characteristic actors working in television today, and Kathryn Joosten (aka Mrs. McCloskey) is an underused treasure — but overall, the show is a mess. Worst of all, HOUSEWIVES could definitely learn a thing or two about the fine art of the cliffhanger and benefit from the promotion department not giving away every plot twist in the network’s ads.

Infotainment has never been as ugly as THE INSIDER, which hit a new low Monday with ads touting footage of the death of Anna Nicole Smith’s son, Daniel. The commercial was obviously designed to trick viewers into thinking this was actual footage of the young man’s tragic death as opposed to scenes from the equally deplorable (yet perhaps inevitable) movie focusing on the celeb’s life.

Was there ever a more ludicrous political campaign waged on television than the senatorial race between THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS’ Jack and Nikki? In this corner, we have a businessman who was shot by his much younger wife, caught up in a sex scandal after sleeping with his father’s wife, and automatically loses the “family values” fight thanks to the fact he has not one but two illigitimate kids (Kyle and the never-mentioned Keemo) with whom he has no involvement. His opponent certainly needs no introduction, given her rather infamous past as a stripper who’s been addicted to both pills and booze, has connections to a known mobster (Bobby Marsino) and once left her current son-in-law standing at the altar. Heck, at this point Don Imus could throw his hat into the ring and easily walk away with a win.

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