It’s official. THE BACHELOR is the dumbest reality show on television. This week, buff bachelor Brad was stunned, absolutely stunned, I tell you, to learn that some of the girls were there for the wrong reason and might be (gasp!) models! These beautiful women who are willing and able to put their “careers” on hold for weeks in order to fight for the right to have a cheeseball slip a ring on her finger that will be sold to a pawn shop quicker than you can say “casting couch” aren’t there in the hope of finding everlasting love? I’m gonna need a while to recover from that one. And really, girls, ain’t he a catch? During the bikini-clad group date, he made out with one gal and then dissed her by giving that day’s rose to another girl. Oh, and he laughed at how bad another girl’s first kiss was. This has to be the most sexist show on television, with the women alternating between the swimsuit and evening gown competitions while vying for the attention of a dim bulb. One lady, rejected during the latest rose ceremony, actually said, “I came out here to find true love, and I meet this beautiful man… and just when my faith in relationships was beginning to be restored, I find myself out in the parking lot.” Yeah, life sucks that way sometimes, doesn’t it kids?
Speaking of reality, I really, really hate when a show which is supposedly competition-based keeps a contestant simply because they will create drama. Case in point? AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL’s Bianca so should have been given the boot last night, but instead Tyra – after admitting that all of the judges except her wanted to see the tempermental poser hit the road – ditched Kimberly. Why? You can bet your last false eyelash that it had a lot more to do with the fact that Bianca being a bitch-on-heels than any failing on Kimberly’s part. Meanwhile, although the show tried to paint Ebony as this season’s girl-you-love-to-hate, she’s turning out to be one of my favorites. Notice how when two of the girls got into a screaming match, the Ebster just sat back and laughed…
I’m beginning to think BIONIC WOMAN just ain’t a show for me. I’ve been a huge fan of Michelle Ryan’s for years, but this show just ain’t working for me. The opening credits should be mega cool but are, instead, cheap and uninspired. And shouldn’t Miguel Ferrer’s secret agent guy at least check the bathroom stalls before spitting out hush-hush exposition like, “We’re a private, clandestine group dedicated to stopping rogue organizations from ending civilization as we know it.” Was the fact that Jamie’s would-be bathroom lover was named Steve — you know, as in Austin — a coincidence or a subtle wink at the audience? Given the lighter tone of this episode than the pilot, I’m going to go with the former. Here’s what I don’t get: Why did NBC not go back and do some reshoots on the pilot when it was deemed too dark? By not doing so, they ran a double risk. After all, viewers turned off by the gloom-and-doom feeling of the pilot weren’t likely to return for the second episode, and those who loved the pilot probably weren’t going to enjoy having the show suddenly go for such cheap humor as a technician whacking our heroine on the head to stop her bionic ear from ringing. Have the networks forgotten the importance of first impressions?
Hard to believe we’re already three weeks into some shows, huh? Last night’s GOSSIP GIRL was the weakest so far, perhaps because the show already is falling into a formula that proved tiresome during THE OC’s first season, when every episode revolved around a party at which something bad would happen. And how is it that the never-seen lead character is clued in to plot developments that she couldn’t possibly have witnessed, such as the moment when Serena’s brother clued Blair into who’d really been a patient of the clinic and why. It’s one thing for DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE’s Mary Alice to do that kind of omniscient presence, what with her being a ghost host and all. But no matter how much I adore Kristen Bell, I’m thinking the show might want to take a “less is more” approach to her character’s patter.
Anyone seen any great — or even decent — opening credits this season? I’ll admit that I’m a total geek for credit sequences, but so far, I’ve been wildly disappointed in the offerings this season. Too many shows have foregone them entirely in favor of a quick bumper. Anybody else miss them?
