Channel Surfing with C.T: DEAL OR NO DEAL, GOSSIP GIRL and THE REAL WORLD

I can’t help but think that all the viewers who turned into GOSSIP GIRL for the first time Monday night — lured by the promise of an OMFG! experience — walked away disappointed. “Where are the naked people? Where’s the sex?” they might have been left answer. Oh, sure, Serena was gifted with porn and handcuffs, and her brother was used as an unwitting drug mule, but the majority of the episode revolved around the battle between dethroned Queen Bee Blair and wanna-be Jenny. While the final cliffhanger was fun, much of the episode was exactly the opposite of what those endless promos promised: This wasn’t a sexy, shocking hour of television, but rather an often juvenile, not particularly witty outting. Don’t get me wrong: I love, love, love GG. But there’s a difference between what they’re selling and what they’re delivering. Call me a cynic, but it seemed like an awfully intresting “coincidence” that the glam pad in which Serena and Chuck live has a big-ol’ picture window through which can be seen a neon sign for New York magazine. You know, the mag whose most recent cover declared GG the Best Show Ever. (With, it might be noted, an asterisk noting “not really”, although I bet THAT won’t show up in an advertising campaign.)

Am I the only one who was absolutely disgusted by President Bush’s “cameo” on DEAL OR NO DEAL? This man has kept our troops in danger with his pointless war, repeatedly refusing to sign legislation which would shorten their over-extended stays in Iraq, disregarded the will of the people — you know, the ones whom he represents and yet there he is, cracking jokes about his approval rating and the national debt (you know, the one spiraling out of control because of the war?) on a game show. Come to think of it, disgusted doesn’t even begin to sum up my reaction.

Perhaps not surprisingly, the Hollywood-set season of MTV’s THE REAL WORLD is jam-packed with some of the least real houseguests yet. But it is a very interesting look at what today’s young people believe it takes to “make it” in LaLa land. In fact, the first person we meet — pumped-up wanna-be actor Joey, declares, “I believe to get in the entertainment business it’s really important to have charisma, good looks and also a great body.” Um, hello? Talent, anyone? Of course, he’s a personal trainer. Perky Kimberly wants to be an entertainment reporter on E!, perhaps having learned from the Katie Couric fiasco that real news is hard. But don’t tell that to Sarah, the 20-year-old who wants to go into broadcast journalism, who tells jockboy Davd her hopes and dreams. Music producer Will and aspiring singer Briana round out our cast, and if you think it’s a coincidence that these kids met one another in pairs, you just don’t know your reality television manipulations… er, storytelling. Right from the get-go, the show is working hard to create showmances. As Dave tells Sarah she might as well forget her long-distance boyfriend, we cut to said beau warning that if anyone tries anything with his girl, they’ll get their butt kicked. On, there is one person to arrive on his own: too-cool-for-school Greg, aka “Pretty Boy”, who obviously was cast based on nothing more than his obnoxious attitudes and potential for stirring up drama. The housemates basically despise him on sight, and we’re left feeling the same way. The pad is rad, of course, although I suspect it’s more impressive in person than on screen. By the end of the first episode, Kimberly has proven a bit racist, people are skinnydipping, Briana learns there’s a warrant out for her arrest and… well, Sarah’s boyfriend might wanna put on his butt-kickin’ boots.