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GOSSIP GIRL Recap: Pret-a-Port-J

8:00PM: You know this episode is going to be good when Dorata (Blair’s maid) gets the first laugh by offering up this bit of sound advice to one Blair Waldorf, “Don’t forget. God always watching Miss Blair.”

8:04PM: Meet Agnes. Hot Model/Bad influence for Jenny played by THE OC’s delightful Willa Holland. Awkward how even Mini-Cooper has become more successful and less of a Young Hollywood Cliche than Misha Barton.

8:08PM: Am I the only one who finds Eleanor Waldorf’s use of child labour [see: Jenny] a little off-putting? Quick, someone get Kathie Gifford on the phone!

8:14PM: OMG! Serena meets a new overly pretentious artist named Aaron. Signs he’s an overly pretentious artist by the way include shaggy hair, glasses and stubble. Fifty bucks he takes off those glasses by the end of the episode.

8:15PM: Someone’s going to have to explain to me why exactly Blair is taking dating advice from Dan “I’m the guy who broke up with Serena” Humphrey. Rule #1 of High School Dating. You never break up with your school’s Queen B, sorry, Queen S.


8:20PM: Chuck rejects B’s advances yet again. Which means, either Chuck simply loves the chase, or the online fan fiction that we totally haven’t ever checked out might be on to something.

8:21PM: Commercial Chatter: TWILIGHT movie preview in combination with the breaking news that the EX-LIST has been canceled by CBS means that MOONLIGHT fans officially have my permission to gloat for the next 24 hours only…. starting now.

8:29PM: Serena continues to get all googly eyes around Aaron. Hmmm… I wonder where this is going.

8:30PM: As Blair receives a text message blown up to the size of her entire phone, this TV Addict can’t help but wonder: Why is Blair using one of those phones specially designed for grandparents and the seeing impaired?

8:34PM Commercial Chatter: Who knew the CW’s REAPER was made into a big screen movie. Oh wait, THE HAUNTING OF MOLLY HARTLEY is about a GIRL (not Bret Harrison) whose soul has been sold to the devil when she turns 18. Completely different!

8:35PM:  Separated at birth: Trendy Artist Aaron and ‘Mac Guy’ Justin Long.

8:40PM: Little J doesn’t think a 15 year old has what it takes to create her own clothing line. Has she not watched ONE TREE HILL? Oh, and far be it from this TV Addict to comment on hair and makeup, but why has Jenny chosen to go with the raccoon look? Early Halloween Costume? Superhero in disguise? Or not so subtle metaphor for her downward spiral to the dark side? You decide.

8:43PM: Neither Chuck and Blair want to be the first to say those three magic words, I Love You. Why can’t they just get over themselves and trust each other. Or at the very least pull the Ol’ SEINFELD gag (Classic Line Alert!) like Elaine did with Jerry when their plane was crashing in the series finale. I Love U…… nited Airlines.

8:45PM: Commercial Chatter: Illustrating how infrequently I watch commercials anymore (sorry networks!). When did America Ferrera become a shill for the Nintendo DS?

8:50PM: Please tell me Jenny is not dancing shirtless with Agnes. Again, if Jenny only took a page from this TV Addict and watched a little more television, she’d know that this evening of harmless fun is so going to so end up on Facebook (See: DEGRASSI episode with Manny and Peter).

8:55PM: After ‘rescuing’ Jenny from Agnes, our Jenny and “her night in shining Armani” share a passionate kiss on the streets of New York. Begging the question: Am I the only TV Addict who is a little put off by the real-life age difference? (Chace Crawford 23, Taylor Momsen 15). I mean just because it’s okay for Miley…

PHOTO CREDIT: GIOVANNI RUFINO / THE CW © 2008

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