Favorite supporting character: Forget frienemies Blair and Serena. GOSSIP GIRL’s best duo is, without doubt, Blair and her maid, Dorota.
Most successful homeless guy: Okay, we know Alton Brown – host of The Food Network’s IRON CHEF AMERICA as well as numerous other programs – isn’t actually homeless, but geez… could someone buy the guy a mirror? And a comb?
Most reliable laffer: There’s nothing better — or harder to pull off — than a good farce, which is why WORST WEEK amazes us with its ability to do so each and every week.
Biggest cop-out: We were disappointed when DIRTY SEXY MONEY, obviously uncomfortable with transgender character Carmelita (given surprising depth by real-life transsexual Candis Cayne), took the easy way out by having Patrick’s mistress gunned down.
Best example of a hair don’t: Already one of the most annoying – not to mention classless — personas on SURVIVOR: GABON, Randy didn’t do himself any favor with that Mohawk.
Most rushed episode: In the span of about 10 minutes, the BATTLESTAR GALACTICA crew found out in the fourth season’s fall finale that four of their pals were cylons, processed the info, jumped to Earth and found out it was a barren wasteland.
Worst show of the year (and possibly ever): Every single person at Oxygen should be ashamed of – and possibly punished for – BAD GIRLS CLUB.
Sidekick we’d most love to steal: Give us the opportunity and we’ll have Dena – played by the sublime Melissa McCarthy – asking SAMANTHA WHO?
Worst executive-level decision: Can anyone explain to us why NBC’s chief programmer, Ben Silverman hasn’t been canned? Anyone? Bueller?
Show that really needs to pack it in: Sorry, Miss Tyra, but AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL is just plain tired. The ridiculous gimmicks trotted out in the 10th cycle’s opener forced us to recognize just how awful and predictable the whole show has become.
Oddest recurring comedy bit: We can’t help but crack up when celebs play “Touch The Head” on JIMMY KIMMEL LIVE. There’s just something freaky about watching a movie star dash around L.A. bopping people on the noggin.
Host we’d most like to replace: As much as we love saying “Chenbot”, we’d gladly give up that pleasure if CBS would let someone with an actual personality take charge of BIG BROTHER.
Commercial trend we’d like to see more of: FRINGE’s limited use of them.
Commercial trend we’re over: Product placement. Sorry, but KNIGHT RIDER was nothing more than a glorified Ford informercial, and we’re already preparing for the barrage of Coke logos we’ll drown in once AMERICAN IDOL starts up again.
Check back back tomorrow for Part II 
