WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
SCRUBS (9PM ABC, CityTV in Canada)
It’s time to play the music. It’s time to light the lights! It’s time to meet the Muppets on The Muppet Show SCRUBS tonight!
FRINGE (9PM FOX, CTV in Canada)
Just in time for us to get over last week’s gruesome giant slugs, tonight’s installment features a killer who turns his victims’ brains into liquid. Yum.
NEW & NOTABLE:
TRUE LIES (7PM TNT)
Can’t wait until the DOLLHOUSE’s February 13th premiere for your Eliza Dushku fix? Check out her big break in one of our all-time favorite James Cameron flicks.
HOMELAND SECURITY USA (8PM ABC)
A woman goes to major extremes in order to try and look like the picture on her fake ID, and a U.S. citizen is denied entry to Canada. And heck, they’ll let anybody in!
NCIS (8PM CBS, Global in Canada)
Apparently, a dead sergeant may have been a very naught boy. And by “naughty” we mean treasonous. It’s just that “naughty” sounds more salacious. (As if this wildly popular show needs me tricking people into watching.)
AMERICAN IDOL (8PM NBC, CTV in Canada)
Auditions continue. Endlessly.
THE BIGGEST LOSER (8PM NBC)
Okay, folks, if you want to enjoy the best part of the upcoming Superbowl — aka the food put out at parties — don’t watch this episode, in which a chef quizzes the contestant about the calorie count found in treats traditionally put out for the game. He then — are you ready for a laugh? — offers up healthier alternatives. Yeah, right!
LAST RESTAURANT STANDING (8PM BBC AMERICA)
Every year, Restaurant Wars is one of the most highly-anticipated challenges on the Food Network’s TOP CHEF. For those eagerly awaiting that episode (which airs tomorrow night), check out this BBC offering, which tonight kicks off its second season as nine couples compete for the chance to open their own restaurant.
ONE LIFE TO LIVE (9PM SOAPnet)
Forget Showtime’s wildly uneven and surprisingly awful THE UNITED STATES OF TARA. Who needs that when this soap has been dealing with alternate personalities — and doing so in a way that, by comparison, is far more realistic — for decades. Tonight, Bess (the “gatekeeper” in charge of the alters) tries to keep Tess (the wild child) under control. Based on past experience, all we can say is, “Good luck with that, Bess.”
WHAT WOULD YOU DO (10PM ABC)
Let me give you the scenarios and my answers to the titular question. Someone steals household items during an open-house (I’d stop them on the way out and publicly humiliate them); an old man gets behind the wheel of the car (take away the keys and then sit in the seat making engine sounds to convince him we were going somewhere); two men crash a wedding (chances are, I’d be one of them).
WITHOUT A TRACE (10PM CBS)
The search for Elena’s former partner leaves her thinking about past mistakes. You know, this series has a completely misleading title, ’cause if the victims had really disappeared without a trace, the team wouldn’t be able to find them and the show would be canceled.
THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ORANGE COUNTY (10PM Bravo)
Former housewife Kimberly gets a visit from Vicki and Jenna, but the real fun is probably being had at Lynne’s place, ’cause she’s throwing a cocktail party.
TODDLERS & TIARAS (10PM The Learning Channel)
This series, premiering tonight, follows child beauty pageants. I guess it’s on The Learning Channel so you can learn that enrolling your kids in these kinds of things is nine kindsa wrong. (As is the fact that this is sure to be such a trainwreck, I’m totally tuning in.)