It turns out Dan and Jenny Humphrey aren’t the only underprivileged kids from the wrong side of the tracks who are getting a free education every Monday night at 8PM. Here are a few things this TV Addict gleaned following last night’s time spent on the Upper East Side.
Lesson #1: The cell phone is mightier than the sword
Just ask Michael Phelps! But seriously, all it took was one brilliantly succinct text message on behalf of Blair (“Lonely Boy and Ms. Carr? Mary Kay Letourneau alert!”) to get the ball rolling with regards to last night’s scandal du jour. Impressive, no?
Lesson #2: Calling a teacher by her first name is never a good idea
Not only is Dan Humphrey’s continued insistence on referring to Ms. Carr as “Rachel” practically beg the Constance Billard rumor mill to skip jump into overdrive, it further cemented Humphrey’s status as a pretentious pompous blowhard — not to mention, somewhat of an idiot! I mean hello!? On what planet does one cheat on the Amazonian Goddess known as Serena van der Woodsen with a teacher who eerily resembles a younger, shorter Shannen Doherty?
Lesson #3: Dorota can do no wrong
From tackling the majority, make that all of Ms. Blair’s community service to sneaking through Constance Billard’s crowded hallways incognito, not only does this TV Addict fall more and more in love with Dorota each and every episode, we’re fairly confident that she’s got the “right stuff” to make it in Joss Whedon’s DOLLHOUSE. Who’s with me?!
Lesson #4: Eyes Wide Shut story-lines never work
We hated the Tom Cruise/Nicole Kidman movie and last night’s Chuck (mis)adventure simply had our eyes wide shut.
Lesson #5: Parenting is overrated
Putting aside the fact that Lily van der Woodsen would seriously side with teenage antics of one Blair Waldorf, we spent the better half of the episode wondering… where’s Blair’s mom? I mean are we the only one’s who’ve noticed that she’s been MIA for weeks now? 
Photo Credit: Giovanni Rufino / The CW