WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
SCRUBS (8PM ABC)
The funniest comedy you’re not watching — because ABC decided to hold off on new episodes for the better part of two months only to bring it back with little-to-no-fan-fare on a completely different day and time — returns tonight. But hey, we’re not bitter. Really.
THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE (8PM ABC)
Maybe now that television’s funniest two mean mommies have finally gone into labor, someone at CBS can get their act together and develop a Marly and Lindsay spin-off.
BETTER OF TED (8:30PM ABC)
BETTER OF TED has the advantage of debuting as just the right time: when viewer’s wouldn’t mind reveling in corporate comeuppance. It’s big business satire anchored by more-moral-than-his-employers straight arrow Ted (Jay Harrington, channeling Jon Hamm, except with boyish charm), head of research and development for Veridian Dynamics, a company responsible for weaponizing pumpkins and freezing its employees on a whim. Stocked with a top-notch cast (particularly Arrested Development’s Portia De Rossi as Ted’s icy, tight-laced boss), it bares the same potential of so many failed ABC comedies: it’s funny enough, but inconsistent — it needs time it probably won’t get to find its footing. — Aleks Chan
LOST (9PM ABC, “A” in Canada)
Kate returns to the island just in time to ruin Sawyer and Juliet’s happily ever after… awwwwwkward.
DAMAGES (10PM FX)
Call us a stickler for details, but we’re fairly certain that the official episode description should say, “Ellen discovers a another dark secret about Patty’s personal life.”
NEW & NOTABLE:
CRIMINAL MINDS (9PM CBS, 8PM CTV in Canada)
One of New England’s deadliest serial killers may be murdering again after a 10-year hiatus. Lucky for us, we don’t live in New England.
CSI: NY (9PM CBS, CTV in Canada)
Talk about bad timing. Ashlee Simpson takes a detour on her way to the CW’s MELROSE PLACE re-boot only to get mixed up in a seedy motel killing.
MAN V. FOOD (10PM Food Network)
The host attempts to set a record at Raleigh’s Roast Grill by devouring 17 hot dogs in one hour. Been there, done that. Okay not really. But 17 hot dogs in an hour is now totally going on our “bucket list.”