Not only did the legendary performer cement his reputation as the best host in the biz by making good on his promise to deliver a highly entertaining and well-paced award show, he managed to get that pesky (read: obligatory) Kanye West joke out of the way within the show’s first five minutes. “It’s my job to make sure things run smoothly. So let’s hope that Kanye West likes 30 ROCK.” [See Opening Video]
LOSER: NEIL PATRICK HARRIS
Literally. For losing a much-deserved Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Emmy to the far less funny Jon Cryer (TWO AND A HALF MEN). Begging the question, where is Kanye when you need him?
WINNER: RICKY GERVAIS
Who in presenting an Emmy for Outstanding Variety/Comedy Series once again nailed his audition for any future hosting gig with a side-splitting riff on how in a roomful of television stars like Steve Carell, he’s probably considered handsome. Or at the very least, above-average.
LOSER: NON-INTERNET SAAVY VIEWERS
Who are most likely still scratching their heads and wondering “What’s a Dr. Horrible?” following the brilliant… buffering… Joss Whedon interstitial that livened up the night’s only horrible portion: LITTLE DORRIT’s sweep in categories nobody really cares about. [See Video]
WINNER: ROB LOWE
For winning the genetic lottery. Seriously, the man does not age. Or as Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy winner Alec Baldwin joked upon accepting his award, “I’d trade this to look like him.” So say we all.
LOSER: ROB LOWE
Proof that look aren’t everything came Lowe’s revelation that he was the one who turned down the McDreamy role in GREY’S ANATOMY for a lead in the short-lived CBS procedural DR. VEGAS. Paging better career advice, stat!
For thinking different with his inventive and enlightening commentary as winners walked up to the podium. ”This is, apparently, the first time a musical number has been written for a Wolverine,” exclaimed THE DAILY SHOW correspondent as writers picked up an award for Outstanding Original Music and Lyrics for the 81st Annual Academy Awards.
LOSER: PERI GILPIN
Who we’re sorry to report, just lost her crown of ‘Hollywood’s Most Sultry Female Voice’ to Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries/Movie to winner Shohreh Aghdashloo.
For her half-joking thank you to NBC upon accepting the award for Outstanding Comedy Emmy on behalf of 30 ROCK, ”Thank you for keeping us on the air, even though we are so much more expensive than a talk show.”
LOSER: MATTHEW WEINER
Who in walking away with an Outstanding Drama Emmy for MAD MEN came across as somewhat pompous and arrogant, proclaiming “I may be the only person in the room with complete creative freedom. That’s why the show is so good.”
Who seemed genuinely shocked to be accepting an Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Emmy for her work in PUSHING DAISIES. Divvying up her very unrehearsed acceptance speech (we love those!) to thank the Academy “For recognizing me for a show that’s no longer on the air,” and find herself a new gig, ““I’m unemployed now so I’d like to be on MAD MEN, THE OFFICE and 24? [See Video]
LOSER: PUSHING DAISIES
RIP. 
