Let’s face it. We all love saying, “If I ran the world, things would be way different. Well, turns out actors love to do the same thing on behalf of the characters we played. So in the first instalment of this recurring feature, we asked Aziz Ansari how his fictional alter ego, the not-quite-as-hip-as-he-thinks Tom Haverford, would change things were he in charge of the Pawnee, Indiana department of PARKS AND RECREATION.
Step #1: Tom would see more action of the non-violent variety.
Now that Tom and his green-card wife are getting divorced, Ansari thinks it’s time for the poor guy to get over her by finding himself some new arm candy. “Tom needs a girlfriend,” he says. Anyone in particular? “Preferably, all of the girls from GOSSIP GIRL. At the same time,” he jokes.
Step #2: Tom would take a road trip
Critics love PARKS, as do the viewers who stood by the comedy despite it’s rough start. But Ansari thinks he may know how to bring not only new eyes to the NBC sitcom, but ones that are firmly rooted in the bodies of the young demographic advertisers covet like dirty old men. His thought? “I do a 10-episode arc on ONE TREE HILL. Just imagine, this mysterious guy from Pawnee, Indiana comes to town… ” Forget Leyton. Forget Brucas. Once the Bros Over Ho’s exec meets the newbie, it’ll be all about Brom.
Step #3 Tom would personally reward viewers
The second part of Ansari’s plot to take over the world — or at least have his show storm the ratings charts — is one Tom would most defintely approve of. “Anyone who watches PARKS AND RECREATION, has a Neilson box and can prove it to me in an e-mail should get a gift basket from Bath & Bodyworks, with as many lotions and oils as they want.” 
