In case you missed the endless barrage of ads, a little show called LOST begins its final season tonight. And in true ABC style, it kicks off with a glorified clip package being sold as a “new” episode. And while ABC would love for everyone with a television to tune in, the fact is, last season the show averaged just over 11 million weekly viewers. Which means there are a whole lotta people out there who’ll be looking for something other than the most talked-about island since the one inhabited by Gilligan to watch. Since every other outlet on the face of the planet is offering teasers, spoilers, graphs, character breakdowns and predictions about LOST, we thought we’d offer up a few alternative viewing suggestions!
IFC airs two classic episodes from 9-10 p.m., featuring a Christmas party at which Maybe and her cousin sing some rather telling karaoke tunes, and Lucille trying to pull a few strings where Buster is concerned.
Season two of the VH1 reality competition kicks off with contestants pulling a Scarlett O’Hara by creating a look out of drapery. Do we even have to tell you that it’s curtains for the loser? Just to make the proceedings even gayer — if that’s possible — Kathy Griffin chimes in as a judge.
CNBC offers up a trifecta of pseudo-documentaries from 8-11, with something for just about everybody. At 8 p.m., there’s a look at Coke’s efforts to reinvent itself, and at 9 p.m.they take a look at the big business that is marijuana. But the, er, money shot arrives at 10 p.m. with PORN: THE BUSINESS OF PLEASURE. Slip into your snuggie, close the blinds and enjoy.
The WE network is parading out three episodes of their beauty pageant tots, the first two of which are reruns. But come on, when the 8 p.m. episode is titled Shelbie vs. Destinee and features a 9-year-old attempting to mount a “comeback” (from what? an exhausting nap?), it promises to be a fascinating evening.
If you’ve never seen Myrna Loy and William Powell in this 1934 whodunit which brought Dashiell Hammett’s delightful Nick and Nora Charles to life, do yourself a favor and tune in to Turner Classic Movies at 8 p.m. tonight. Think Jonathan and Jennifer Hart… but with more money, more flirting and — believe it or not — more cocktails. 
