Fans who have been counting down the days until they could sink their teeth into a fresh batch of TRUE BLOOD episodes will be thrilled to discover that they weren’t the only ones who thought waiting sucked. As luck would have it, executive producer Alan Ball concurred. Which is probably why tonight’s instalment picks up immediately where the shocking second season finale left off. Ensuring that by the time the credits roll, three things will be abundantly clear: (1) Who (or what) kidnapped Bill. (2) How Jessica intends to deal with the little predicament she currently finds herself in. And (3) Egg’s death will have both hilarious and heartbreaking affects on both Jason and Tara respectively.
Be it men, women, mortal, or vampire… tonight’s TRUE BLOOD truly offers a little something something for everybody. So much so that we’d like to take a moment to offer a teensy bit of advice to both our readers young and old. To those that fall into the 16-24 year-old demographic and still live at home: Under no circumstances should you be watching this show with your parents. And for our older readers: If your 42″ flat-screen happens to be housed anywhere remotely near a window, please, for the love of GOD, ensure your blinds are securely closed. That, or risk being known as that neighborhood creep whose evening entertainment includes an awful lot of nudity. Trust us, you’ll thank us later.
If you’re the type of viewer who prefers actual dialogue to Alexander Skarsgård’s backside, you’ll be happy to know that Alan Ball’s trademark wit is all over this episode. Not only will Jason and Andy’s unlikely bromance have you clamoring for a spin-off detective series. Carrie Preston’s Arlene truly steals the show. Particularly when she’s trying to cheer up Tara in the aftermath of Egg’s untimely demise, “I’m sorry you fell in love with a serial killer alright, but honestly, who here hasn’t?”
Although the fact that tonight’s episode ends on a cliffhanger won’t come as much of a surprise to seasoned fans of the series, the sheer number of “Oh-My-God-They-Didn’t-Just-Do-That” moments just might. Not only do multiple characters take bullets to the head, there’s an unexpected pregnancy, and one scene so shocking that it reads as if it was ripped directly from some very dirty wishful fan fiction!
Would it surprise you to learn that TRUE BLOOD isn’t the scariest thing on TV tonight? If so, you clearly haven’t seen the promos for TLC’s latest reality show, EXTREME POODLES. Seriously. The things these woman put these poor poodles through is quite frankly far scarier than anything Alan Ball has in store for you tonight. Don’t believe us, see for yourself in the horrifying preview below.