Want to know one of our secret skills? Reading between the lines. It’s a talent that comes in handy when translating what folks say and what they mean… even if they themselves aren’t aware of that. If you’re lacking in that particular skill, never fear. That’s why you’ve got us. Here are a few recent developments that will, in the fullness of time, prove just how wise we really are!
Really? With Simon Cowell gone, nobody’s going to fill the void? Whether you thought his schtick was ridiculously over the top — after all, how many times can one say ‘worst thing I’ve ever heard’ before it loses all meaning — or the lone voice of honesty, he was the reason many viewers tuned in. Without it, IDOL could be in serious trouble.
Executive producer Alex Graves recently insisted that the show was created for a “massively-broad audience.” He added that everybody from kids to grandpa would love it. Hmm. Quick! Name the last show that you and your grandpa both wanted to watch! (And no, ?i?Showgirls doesn’t count.
The show will go live in an effort to seem more timely, and there’s talk that Kathleen Parker might be replaced. Leading us to wonder… um, why not just cut your losses and dump the show?
While the idea sounds fun — she’ll play chatfest host Phyllis Rose on a show-within-a-show called ACCESS LLANVIEW — we can’t help wishing ABC’s lineup would stop focusing on stunt casting (James Franco will return to GENERAL HOSPITAL next month and HOT IN CLEAVELAND’s Wendie Malick is slated to appear on ALL MY CHILDREN) and do something truly innovative like write storylines people actually want to watch.
Honey, we get that you’re not the brightest bulb in the Lite-Brite, but seriously? In another year or two, this same story will have people saying, “Who wants to be called what?” 
