Biggest Time Waster of the Week: Just how painful were Sunday’s 83rd ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS? So painful that they made going to movies like I am Number 4 (30% on Rotten Tomatoes), Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son (6% on Rotten Tomatoes), Just Go with It (18% on Rotten Tomatoes) and Beastly (18% on Rotten Tomatoes) seem like a good alternative. Well, almost.
Most Unrealistic Plot Twist of the Week: While we’re the first to admit that realism and 90210 don’t exactly go hand in hand (Yup, still smarting over Annie’s two whole months of community service for killing a man!), there is no way that Naomi gets rejected by Max for not being “his type.” Hetro, homo, black, white, guy, girl… AnnaLynne McCord is everybody’s type!
Least Suspenseful Hour of Television Ever: Despite a stellar performance by guest star Adrian Pasdar and one of the funniest bomb deactivations in the history of the small screen, we’re sorry to report that the second half of Monday’s CASTLE’s two-parter was not the page-turner creator Andrew Marlowe was probably hoping for. Simply put, when your show does not include the numbers “2” and/or “4” in the title, there is absolutely no way you can put both of your stars, not to mention the entirety of New York City in peril and expect audiences to buy it.
Saddest Reality TV Show: Charlie Sheen. Or, to borrow a classic line from THE SIMPSONS’ Helen Lovejoy “Won’t someone think of the children.”
Best Argument AGAINST Affirmative Action: Political correctness be damned! The successful kicking of Derrick Bond to the curb by THE GOOD WIFE lawyers Lockhart and Gardner was hands down the highlight of our week. With, Eli and Becca’s never-not-entertaining back-and-forth banter a close second.
And the Number One Reason We’re Rooting for THE EVENT’s Cancellation: Is it just us, or does the PARENTHOOD pairing of Jason Ritter’s Mark and Lauren Graham’s Sara bring back all-too-fond memories of that beloved little show that revolved around a loveable mother/daughter duo in a fictional Connecticut town?
Worst Casting Decision Ever? In spite of his recent success with HAVEN, some, okay we, might argue that NO ORDINARY FAMILY’s decision to cast notorious show-killer Eric Balfour in a multi-episode arc is tempting fate just a wee bit. Wouldn’t you say?
Best Argument FOR Affirmative Action: This week’s hilarious and surprisingly poignant installment of MODERN FAMILY was written by former SEINFELD scribe Carol Leifer, who we sincerely hope has already been offered a full-time writing gig based on Wednesday fantastic first offering.
This Week’s Biggest Loser: Your very own TV Addict, who actually took a moment to chuckle over the fact that Sharpay (Ashley Tisdale) and Ryan’s (Lucas Grabeel) Hollywood aspirations as illustrated in HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL’s “I Want it All” actually came to fruition this week with both stars playing pivotal roles on HELLCATS (Tisdale) and SMALLVILLE (Grabeel) respectively. And yes, we’re well aware that we have “issues.” 
