Today’s TV Addict Top 5: New Rules For TV Networks and Shows

New Rule: If Hart Hanson isn’t prepared to allow Booth and Brennan to go you know where during the upcoming sixth season finale of BONES appropriately titled “The Change in the Game,” he better have a really good reason as to why not. What’s more, said reason must not involve another person of the opposite sex getting in between them… again.

New Rule: GENERAL HOSPITAL can’t put another child in jeopardy for at least six months. Jake being run down and killed, Brenda’s son going missing. Soaps are a genre aimed at women, and no mother wants to be “entertained” by tales involving kidnapped children.

New Rule: If Network bean counters are going to insist on continuing to counter the proliferation of household DVR/PVR’s — complete with their very helpful fast-forwarding capabilities — with intrusive and not the least bit subtle in-show product placements, the very least they could do is reward viewers who are forced to endure them. Think about it, what’s the one thing that might make it somewhat bearable to sit through Mr. Matthews explaining to Naomi all the incredible features (!) of the latest Verizon video gizmo on last week’s 90210? By running a coupon [at the end of the episode] for “X” amount of dollars off one!

New Rule: Before Dexter Morgan disposes of newly-named nemesis Colin Hanks during the upcoming sixth season of the hit Showtime series, somebody, heck anybody, has to clue into America’s favorite serial killer’s extra-curricular activities. Suffice to say, the mysterious circumstances surrounding the deaths of Doakes (Erik King), Lila (Jamie Murray), Miguel (Jimmy Smits) and Rita (Julie Benz), it’s becoming increasingly more difficult to believe the fact that an entire Miami Metro Police Department has yet to suspect what has been right under their nose for quite some time now.

New Rule: Networks have to stop running pre-roll ads before online promos touting next week’s episode. Seriously. Nothing has us closing our browser faster than the realization that we’re going to have to sit through a thirty-second commercial to watch, what in essence, is a thirty second commercial.