We’ve seen a lot in the first few auditions of AMERICA’S GOT TALENT this season, everything from in the dark juggling, to pool diving, to well… whatever THIS is. Yet in Minneapolis, it’s about what you don’t see.
Here’s a riddle for you… What do you get when you cross a blizzard and AMERICA’S GOT TALENT?
The answer: a recipe for disaster – NO PIERS MORGAN!
That’s exactly what happened at the Minneapolis audition. My former hometown is known for snow (to say the least), so when a nasty springtime blizzard stranded Piers on the tarmac, they continued the auditions without him. Piers’ absence effectively counted as a “No” vote, when meant both Sharon and Howie needed to say “Yes” to push an act through. In effect, nothing really changed all that much. Piers is usually a no vote anyway when it comes to the “less talented” acts.
Still, did Sharon and Howie manage to squeak through some awful acts without Piers’ breathing down their necks?
Echo of Animal Gardens – Parrot Talkin’
Back in the L.A. auditions, Vegas Birds got a pass to the next round. Compared to Echo, however, that other bird isn’t good enough to be in the same cage, let alone the same perch. The acts are similar, another crazy lady has drilled a bird to react to certain phrases. What made this one interesting was how effortless Echo performed, and how clear he spoke (and sang!).
If Echo can learn new material quickly, this act may have some wings.
My prediction: Bye, bye Vegas Birds.
Mrs. Smith – Shemale Axe Grinder
Take a she/man, throw him/her in a lady suit, and pound out a ridiculous guitar solo. The guitar playing was over the top, based on the 10 seconds that was shown, but was apparently weird enough to put it through to Vegas.
My Prediction: Is guitar riffin’ + Mrs. Doubtfire a million dollar act? No.
St. Lukes Bottle Band – Pro blowhards
Reason #212 why I watch AGT – stuff like this! An orchestra of clearly deranged “musicians” using nothing but glass and plastic bottles play the Nutcracker… how often do you get to see something like that?
I thought it was great, but they’re going to need to learn some music relevant to the audience in order for this act to go much further.
My Prediction: Sadly, I don’t think this act will pull it out in Vegas, but I’ve got my fingers crossed.
The Halls of Magic – Magic Act
A cheesy, lame magic act that’s only worth mentioning because (for reason’s we’ll never know) Howie and Sharon both gave them a pass.
My Prediction: Will be cut in Vegas faster than Piers can yell, “You put THIS through?”
Lys Angès – Singer
This former retail employee’s claim to fame is a moderate amount of vocal talent combined with a sob story background that producers on AMERICA’S GOT TALENT seem to love. I feel for the chick; losing a fiance’ sure doesn’t sound like a whole lot of fun, but the “I was going to stop following my dream, but decided to push on for him” is nonsensical drama that I just don’t buy. You’re here for YOU, because YOU want to be a star that makes LOTS of MONEY and can afford those $1000 salon trips to do that to YOUR hair.
From a talent perspective, her Ave Maria was good, but it’s #73 on my list of best renditions of Shubert’s classic tune. That’s still good, but hardly deserving of the praise she got from the two judges. This is a talent show where raw talent often takes a back seat to a dramatic past… unfortunately.
My Prediction: She’ll clearly make it well into the live shows, but I’m not convinced her singing is enough to win.
Viva La Muerte – Midget (Erotic?) Dancer
Me says, “Ummm… no.”
Howie and Sharon say: “BEST THING EVER!”
Admit it. You know EXACTLY who is right.
My Prediction: Howie and Sharon getting a beat down from Piers. Oh, and I think one million people just vomited in their mouths.
Those Funny Little People – Dance Act
What can I say? Dancing gnomes ROCK!
Piers was finally back by the time this act took the stage, and not surprisingly he hated it, but in this case I’m glad Howie and Sharon saw otherwise. I thought their dance to Vanilla Ice’s “Ice, Ice, Baby” was creative, and they’re just funny to watch – especially when they raided Piers’ dressing room after the show.
My Prediction: It won’t win, but it’s still good.
Miss Cherries Jubilee – Live Piercer
I don’t know if I would qualify this as talent, but this chick/freak’s act was to pierce herself with needle-tipped feathers in various body locations while everyone in the audience watched. She showed no pain, despite poking herself 6 or 7 times.
It’s not a Vegas act (and was voted off), but was pretty neat/disturbing to watch.
My Prediction: If she’s willing to do this nude, she’s got one hell of an Internet career ahead of her.
Silhouettes – Dance Group
An army of 38 young students with a GPA of 3.0 or greater (good for them) dance behind a back-lit screen, making their silhouettes come alive. It was a strange act, and to be honest I didn’t care for it. However, it was definitely unique and dare I say “artistic.” They deserve a chance to come back, but I’d love to see them step it up to make it more interesting.
My Prediction: A live show contender for sure, and I’m hoping they tweak it to make it more “fun.”
The Kinetic King – Builder?
This guy has taken the domino effect to new heights. A self proclaimed “greatest expert in chain reaction gadgets and exploding objects in the 17 known universes.” In other words, he’s pretty good at making “things” that effectively blow up in a chain reaction. And you know what? It was pretty cool!
The inner nerd in me (as evidenced by my regular “TV Tech Fix” column here on theTVaddict) has a soft spot for stuff like this, and thankfully the crowd and judges did, too. The thing I love about this kind of act is that there’s always room to make it bigger and better. What he built for this run took him eight hours, but his only limiting factor is time. I’d be scared to see what he could build in a week of non-stop effort.
My Prediction: He’ll make it to the live shows, and could make it to the finals if he constantly goes bigger.
That raps up the Minneapolis auditions. More to come as I frantically play catch up in reviewing the auditions before the live shows start!
Missed an audition? Catch up on Season 6 of AMERICA’S GOT TALENT in our previous posts.