War is coming… and we can’t wait! Which is precisely why, in anticipation of GAME OF THRONES long-awaited return this Sunday April 1st on HBO (and HBO Canada), your very own TV Addict recently decided to brush up on the our George R.R. Martin mythology by spending a recent Saturday entrenched on our very own iron throne (Read: Couch). What follows, is our fun and pithy episode guide, with format inspiration courtesy of our bible, Entertainment Weekly. See for yourself, after the jump.
EPISODE 1: WINTER IS COMING
FIRST AIRED: 4/17/11 WRITERS: David Benioff and D.B. Weiss DIRECTOR: Tim Van Patten SYNOPSIS: This sprawling first episode introduces us to a slew of characters all tied to — as the show’s title suggests — one helluva throne. Some, like King Robert who travels to Winterfell to enlist the help of Ned Stark, aim to protect it. While others, like the duplicitous Queen Cersei, brother/lover Jaime Lannister and Viserys and Daenerys’ Targaryen aim to grab hold of it. In otherwords, let the games begin. INTRODUCED: 5 adorable Direwolves (Best pets ever!) whose bark is nothing compared to their bite. HISTORIC MOMENT: A gruesome first kill gives new meaning to the phrase “cold open.” LESSON LEARNED: A Dothraki wedding without at least three deaths is considered a dull affair. CRITIQUE: Co-Executive producers Benioff and Weiss do an admirable job of introducing of inviting those unfamiliar with the George R. R. Martin source material into a complex world of kings, queens, knights and not-so-nobleman culminating in an ending so shocking audiences are given very little choice but to come back next week to find out what’s going to happen next. GRADE: B+
EPISODE 2: THE KINGSROAD
FIRST AIRED: 4/24/11 WRITERS: David Benioff and D.B. Weiss DIRECTOR: Tim Van Patten SYNOPSIS: The population of Winterfell takes a serious hit as Ned leaves Westeros with daughters Sansa and Arya to become the King’s hand, his bastard son Jon Snow opts for a life of celibacy by heading to the wall to join the brotherhood of the Night’s Watch, while another attempt on Bran’s life prompts Lady Stark to investigate. In other news, having already promised his sister to the Dothraki King Khal Drogo, young Daenerys must learn to please him. Translation: If this tent is a rockin’ don’t come a knockin’ INTRODUCED: The internet to the Tyrion slapping Joffrey meme. HISTORIC MOMENT: Cersei and Jaime Lannister’s attempt to ensure Bran will not live to tell the tale of what he saw at the top of tower doesn’t just end in a victorious moment for Bran’s direwolf but sets into motion a chain of events that promises to forever transform the lives of both the Lannister, Stark and Baratheon families. LESSON LEARNED: The Dothraki “way” isn’t for everyone. CRITIQUE: Despite the energy and excitement all but coming to a sudden stop whenever the show travels up north to check in with the continuing misadventures of Jon Snow at the Wall, the terrifying sequence of events surrounding the he-said-she-said with regards to a slight misunderstanding involving Prince Joffrey, Sansa, Arya and the Butcher’s boy (RIP) paints a terrifying picture of the will of the king. A picture that unfortunately will come back to haunt all parties involved. GRADE: A-
Missed This Week’s GAME OF THRONES Re-Watch? Catch up on the entire blow-by-blow at the following links:
• Episodes 9 and 10: “Baelor” and “Fire and Blood”
• Episodes 7 and 8: “You Win Or You Die” and “The Pointy End”
• Episodes 5 and 6: “The Wolf and the Lion” and “A Golden Crown”
• Episodes 3 and 4: “Lord Snow” and “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things”
• Episodes 1 and 2: “Winter is Coming” and “The Kingsroad”