Miss last night’s episode? Here’s what you need to know about GAME OF THRONES’ “Garden of Bones”
AIRDATE: 4/22/12 WRITER:: Vanessa Taylor DIRECTOR: David Petrarca SYNOPSIS: As Tyrion Lannister continues to grow his web of spies and solidify his status as puppet-master of King’s Landing, the road to war heats up. Or to be more specific, Littlefinger travels to Renly Baratheon’s camp in an effort to secure Jaime Lannister’s freedom from Lady Stark, Daenerys Targaryen (or as she’s known about town, Queen of the Dragons) successfully saves what’s left of her Dothraki Horde by negotiating entrance into the beautiful city of Qarth, while Stannis Baratheon’s mysterious companion Melisandre gives birth to something even more terrifying than a baby Joffrey. INTRODUCED: Two new additions to GAME OF THRONES’ always enthralling opening credits in the form of the city of Qarth (Said a representative from the Qarth Board of Tourism, “The greatest city that ever was or will be!”) and Castle Harrenhal. The latter of which — much to Arya and Gendry’s chagrin — has devolved from one of the most beautiful destinations in the Seven kingdoms to the House of Lannister’s Abu Ghraib equivalent. Also of note, a fine first face-to-face with Xaro, the man responsible for Daenerys entrance into Qarth and the introduction of an incredibly competent and self-assured nurse that catches Robb Stark’s eye on the battlefield. A nurse that this non-book reader suspects we haven’t seen the last of. NOTABLE QUOTABLE: “If wars were arithmetic, the mathematicians would rule the world,” was how Petyr “Littlefinger” Baelish counters Margaery Tyrell’s belief that the size of husband Renly Baratheon’s army all but guarantees him victory. Evidently, when it comes to the actual game of thrones, size doesn’t matter. LESSON LEARNED: Far too much information when it comes to what turns King Joffrey on! CRITIQUE: Assuming of course one can get past the episode’s ick factor — which thanks to some insanely disturbing sex, torture, medical and birthing scenes was pretty much off the charts — the only negative thing we can say about last night’s absolutely thrilling instalment was that it clocked in at a paltry 45 minutes. That’s five to ten unacceptable (!) minutes short of the show’s standard running time that left us desperately clamoring for more following a set of unexpected developments that saw Tywin Lannister save Arya and Gendry from imminent demise by offering them interesting new jobs, Daenerys make a new friend and, to cap it all off, the creepiest fictional birth scene since Katherine Heigl delivered in Knocked Up. GRADE: A-
GAME OF THRONES airs Sundays at 9PM on HBO (HBO Canada) Catch up on past episodes you may have missed for free online at clicktowatch.tv