Least Newsy News: MTV has slated the series SCREAM — based on the hit movie franchise — for a summer 2014 debut… despite having no writer or concept in place.
Second Least Newsy News: Hot on the heels of DUCK DYNASTY’s season finale bringing in nearly 10 million viewers, A&E announced production of season 4 would begin shortly. Like, yesterday.
Smartest Move: GENERAL HOSPITAL gave newly-recast Lulu amnesia, thus allowing them to see who portrayer Emme Rylan has chemistry with rather than allowing viewers to assume that her alter ego will remain with Dominic Zamprogna’s Dante. The twist has given not only both actors but also Drew Cheetwood — as Lulu-besotted hunk Milo — great material to work with.
Best News: ABC finally wised up and ousted REVENGE showrunner Mike Kelley. Here’s hoping The Initiative gets the boot next.
Most Bad-Ass Exit: Daenerys Targaryen’s unleashing of both her newly-acquired minions and her dragon upon the ruler of Astapor had GAME OF THRONES fans reaching for the remote so they could watch the epic destruction again and again.
Best Reveal: SCANDAL’s Huck has a family who may or may not be alive out there somewhere!
Tackiest Exit: Perpetual sourpuss Dan left HELL’S KITCHEN by offering up both physical and verbal obscenities. Stay classy, dude. Stay classy!
Best Rumor Denouncing: John Barrowman told the folks at TVLine.com, in essence, “Screw what Twitter says: I wasn’t asked back to DOCTOR WHO for the 50th anniversary.” Which if you ask us would be as big a sin as GENERAL HOSPITAL not having Genie Francis’ Laura back for their golden anniversary!
Most Surreal Decision: Out of “sensitivity to where we are as a nation”, NBC pulled an episode of HANNIBAL that dealt with children brainwashed to kill. Yet every episode of the series offers blood-soaked murders and grisly crime scenes…
Best Decision: ABC Family changed the title of its young-reporter-with-cancer series TERMINALES to CHASING LIFE.
Most Backhanded Compliment: NBC announced that SMASH would air its season (and undoubtedly series) finale in a high-profile Sunday spot on May 26th… which is after the all-important Sweeps period ends.
Oddest Concept: In what it is calling a “genre-redefining spectacle,” NBC will this fall launch THE MILLION SECOND QUIZ, a reality offering that will be available 24 hours a day for 12 days via the internet and air live during primetime. The show will feature players who live in a giant glass hourglass in midtown Manhattan while taking part in “a game, a social experiment and a live interactive event.” So… um… it’s BIG BROTHER in an hourglass? Kudos, NBC brain trust!
Least Surprising News Ever: the launch of WHAT WOULD RYAN LOCHTE DO?, featuring the titular hunky Olympian/dunderhead, bombed. Something tells us what Mr. Lochte will soon be doing is looking for a new gig.
Silliest Development: Nicollette Sheridan’s wrongful termination suit is heading back to court. Hasn’t this case now been around longer than the show she was fired from, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES? No? Just seems that way…
Least Likely To Be Missed: Looks like Khloe Kardashian won’t be co-hosting THE X FACTOR with the returning Mario Lopez next season.
Juciest Sudsy Drama: With ALL MY CHILDREN and ONE LIFE TO LIVE about to be relaunched on Monday via Hulu, the real fun is taking place backstage thanks to the lawsuit production company Prospect Park filed against ABC, who this week responded by saying “the claims are baseless and we will defend them vigorously in court and not the press.” Oh, please, please, please let this go to trial! 
