There are two distinctly different groups of people who watch ABC’s THE BACHELORETTE: Those who believe that Des Hartsock, tthe beautiful woman dating 25 hunky men, will find true love by the final episode… and those of us who gather in living rooms, Facebook groups or on Twitter to mock every step of her journey. Seeing as we definitely fall into the latter category, we now present our five favorite moments from last night’s premiere.
What is it about guys named Kasey who come on this show? During Ali’s season, Kasey Kahl sang off-key and infamously got himself tattooed. This year, Kasey Stewart turned his apparent love of hashtags into a running joke that left us wanting to throw him under the bus.
Sure, if we had a body like Zak Waddell’s, we might be tempted to walk around shirtless all the time, too. But we’d like to think that once we’d encouraged Des to play our abs like a xylophone, we’d do something — anything — to prove we were more than just a pretty body. Sadly, that was not the case.
On his official ABC bio, Larry Burchett says that being a “poor communicator” is one of his worst attributes. Which might explain why by the time he was leaving the mansion sans a coveted rose, many in the audience had the impression that this ER doc was more Hannibal Lecter than Marcus Welby.
Ben Scott took a serious risk in using his adorable son, Brody, as an ice breaker, but he managed to come off as sincere and adorable. Which means that before the season’s out, we’ll find out he kidnapped that child on the way to the mansion.
Despite being ousted before the first rose ceremony, Jonathan Vollinger’s repeated efforts to get Des into a fantasy suite of his own creation — not to mention such parting words as “My mom says I’m pretty good looking” and “I have a large love tank” — immediately earned him a place in the Bachelorette Hall Of Shame. 
