Hey Bones fans. We’ve got two episodes for the price of one tonight, and it looks like Aubrey and Booth are ornery about putting in the overtime. Aubrey because he’s hungry (always), and Booth because SECRETS. Also, don’t eat a pot brownie while you’re searching for a dead body. Here are your Bones Top Five Moments, supersized!
Nothing like some women getting together for yoga and discussing babies. Daisy is there and is dismayed by her limited flexibility since she had one, while Brennan has chosen this time to have a snack and be totally laidback about not going to a crime scene. Oh, Brennan, I have a feeling this one is going to take after Booth. Be prepared. Angela thinks Brennan is further along than she thinks she is.
And oh! The smoking hot yoga instructor totally hits on Daisy! If this was Daisy 1.0, I’d tell the dude to run, but Daisy 2.0 is great. Angela is being all mother hen about the whole thing and thinks Daisy isn’t ready, while Brennan thinks she should get back in the saddle. Yep. That is a euphemism. Though Daisy bringing it up every five minutes throughout the episode does get a bit annoying.
Even Booth and Aubrey have noticed Brennan is further along than she thinks. The victim’s mom, in her distraught state, also thinks Brennan is a mere few months away from giving birth, while Brennan is adamant she has six months. Something funky is going on here. Has she not been to a doctor?
Yes, she has, but for some reason the doctor couldn’t verify how far along she was? How is it possible that everyone and their brother told Brennan she was six months along except for her doctor? Am I the only one confused here? But instead of going back to her doctor, Brennan just finally realizes it on her own and calls Angela at ten o’clock at night to come to the lab, so Brennan could say she was right.
To add to the confusion, after all of this time, Brennan is just realizing that what she and Booth do is dangerous, what with getting shot at, and does she really want her kids orphaned? This seems kind of from left field for me.
It’s Molly Delson, the girl everyone was searching for at the top of the show. She’s a only fourteen years old. Since there were signs of early abuse, Booth comes right out and accuses mom and dad, who are offended. Brennan fixates on an early picture of Molly from when she was a little girl and more pudgy. Now Brennan is reevaluating her original diagnosis to the fractures coming from childhood obesity. After Brennan admonishes the parents for letting their kid eat that much, and mom gives it right back to Brennan for being the biggest three-month preggers woman ever, they talk about what an overachiever Molly was.
Before she died, Molly was attending a hoity-toity school that spits out ivy leaguers. Molly was top of her class except for music. I’m sure Miss Overachiever was fine with that. After headmistress Amelia assures Booth her good little students would never think of going past that yellow tape, they find two girls, Cayla and Arianna, in Molly’s room going through her stuff. They say they were protecting Molly by looking for her diary in case anything incriminating was in there. Everyone is properly shocked it’s not digital, and Aubrey finds it in two seconds in a tissue box.
But it’s quickly surmised the two snotty girls were not her friends, what with Molly’s overachieving books and lack of homey decorations. It’s clear her social life consisted of sitting in her room studying. This is confirmed by a box full of hate notes about Molly that she must have kept in the same way others put up inspirational messages all over their house. Only this is the opposite. The proof is in her diary. “I hate them. I hate them. I hate them,” and all kinds of nice things they said to her, like that she’d die alone. Ah, brings back memories of the good ol’ days.
Brennan is feeling a little sad. Seems Molly owned every book Brennan ever wrote, and not the ones Angela writes the steamy sex scenes for. The “real” ones. Molly even scribbled notes in them that Brennan finds astute, so you know they were over the top. Brennan reminisces about when she was Molly, and the isolated life she led.
Molly’s efforts to fit in centered around Kathryn, whose necklace was found on Molly’s body. Through her diary, it’s discovered Molly was going to report Kathryn for having drinking parties.
Headmistress Amelia is the most inept headmistress ever. Kathryn was having drinking parties and found Molly stealing her necklace. The girls drinking with Kathryn the night Molly died were Cayla and Arianna. Also, Molly wasn’t kidnapped. She climbed out of the window on her own. This is the worst high falutin’, overpriced school ever.
But wait! Angela has uncovered that Molly’s nude photo was posted on the internet with her phone number, and whose IP did it come from? Why none other than Tyler, the pot-brownie-eating dude who found her body. Apparently he already has one statutory r*pe charge, and he was gearing up for another.
He says Molly told him she was eighteen, but he’s got a nice child p0rnography charge headed his way for taking and distributing the picture. Tyler is an idiot. He was distributing pills like Ritalin to the rich girls, so they could stay up and study. Molly figured she’d pay him for some pills by posing nude for him. But she wanted Benzo, which is a sedative. She does sound high-strung, but I don’t think that’s it….
My suspicions are confirmed when Arianna, Cayla, and Kathryn are called in to be questioned. Molly’s hair and blood were found in the trunk of Arianna’s car, and Cayla’s scissors were the murder weapon. But they all claim Molly joined their drinking party with a partial bottle of vodka which they shared and then passed out. No mention is made of the Benzo, and Booth arrests all three girls as Headmistress Amelia makes huffy noises. Did I miss the part where they had any evidence against Kathryn other than the diary?
But B&B agree that there’s no way these girls killed Molly. They may be bullies, but they’re not stupid, and their story was totally lame. It turns out, Molly had lidocaine in her system, which is a nerve blocker. After surmising three sixteen-year-old girls couldn’t have come up with something that creepy and sophisticated, Brennan realizes Molly killed herself and framed the three girls who pushed her over the edge. So, it was actually one overachieving fourteen-year-old who came up with this meticulous, diabolical plan.
She got the lidocaine from her dentist parents and stabbed herself twelve times? This whole episode was really convoluted and weird. Brennan has a rough time understanding how someone as intelligent as Molly could have committed suicide.
In the end, Brennan confesses her fears to Booth about the baby thing, but Booth gives her the “Love is all you need” speech, and that does the trick.
PART TWO:
Holy smokes. All of the previews have to do with that episode with the bakery run by the do-gooder Flender who only hired ex-cons, because his dad was one. Remember how I said it made no sense Rockwell was a ritualistic serial killer, when he seemed like a garden-variety criminal? It looks like I’ll get a lot of answers tonight.
It’s seven months later. Really? Arastoo has been gone for SEVEN months? I think they’re playing fast and loose with the timeline here. Anyway, Rockwell is about to be executed for his crimes. He doesn’t want his last meal or his chaplain. He also waived his appeals and requested the execution express lane.
Aubrey has been invited to Sunday dinner at the B&B manse, but it seems Brennan is at work going over the Rockwell case. Standard procedure for her, I guess, before all executions. While Booth goes to retrieve her, Aubrey plays babysitter and sneaks gummy bears to Christine.
Brennan discovers Rockwell had shoulder injuries, so he couldn’t have killed Leonard Barnes, but he wasn’t tried for Barnes’ death. Only the three others—Connor and two of the guys whose tattoos were hanging on hooks. Barnes was the third tattoo and first victim. They only tried Rockwell for the ones connected to him and disregarded Barnes altogether, even though he was killed the same way?
Oh, my gosh! Booth is in the lab. He must be really concerned. He (and his counterpart DB) hate the lab. He’s trying to get Brennan to come home, but she’s freaking out and now has Cam agreeing with her. All of the victims were killed the same way, so if Rockwell couldn’t have killed Barnes, he couldn’t have killed the others he was convicted of. They have forty-eight hours to prove it before Rockwell gets the needle? You got that? Good.
Judge Linda Lavin isn’t buying any of it, even though she has the entire team who put Rockwell away saying they were totally wrong, including Caroline. But she does give the okay for Brennan to exhume all four victims.
Aubrey and Booth bring in Saltz, Rockwell’s former co-worker at the bakery, and sweat him. They say he’s the real culprit, what with all of the borrowing he did of Rockwell’s car. His alibi is his NA meetings, and Booth, the GAMBLING ADDICT, gets on his high horse and seems to judge Saltz about that, even though Saltz is clean and going to meetings, while Booth is about to leave the interrogation and call his bookie, so, ya know, pot-kettle. And I guess all of that stuff he was saying about how prisoners are just misunderstood and can turn their lives around is out the window at this point.
Booth goes to see Rockwell who isn’t interested in clearing his name. He’s through with believing in the justice system and wants to put himself in God’s hands.
Oh, good. I wanted to interrupt the show for Cam and Hodgins to have a death penalty discussion. I’ll let you guess who is on which side. Fuentes breaks it up to remind everyone they only have twenty-seven hours left.
Booth goes to see Rockwell’s ex-girlfriend. She says her only concern is Zeke, Rockwell’s son. Pastor Evans is there. He grew up with Rockwell. They were altar boys together, and he talks about the different paths they took. And because Evans answered one question at the trial about how Rockwell was still angry at the murdered priest for kicking him out of the altar program, Booth is ready to lock him up for all of the murders. Yes, the pastor going on a serial-killing rampage for no reason makes total sense.
Oh, hey Flender. Isn’t that nice of you to throw your hat into the suspect pool. And not at all suspicious. But it doesn’t really help anything, since to overturn a conviction they need something called evidence.
Angela remembers how Sweets said serial killers usually have a personal connection to their first victim. Before Barnes died, he sent a bunch of flowers to a funeral for his driver.
Bones wakes up in a cold sweat as he realizes the serial killer does his thing every three or four months. Rockwell has been in prison for seven. Sigh. They’re still going with this seven months thing? Okay..
Angela’s magical computer tells her that the ironworks factory where the original victims were found was originally on holy land, so they just need to look for different holy land for the new tattoo museum. Of course they find the exact location in two minutes. After Judge Linda rolls her eyes, she grants them a search warrant, and yes, that water purification plant does have a body in it plus the tattoo with the skin attached. The victim is a woman, which is a bit of a changeup.
Judge Linda is unimpressed and thinks it’s a copycat. Caroline yells at her about politics, which doesn’t help her case. Caroline, you’re slipping. At another time, you would have sweet-talked Judge Linda into handing you that key to Rockwell’s cell within two minutes.
Oh, no! It’s that time. Rockwell pens a letter to Zeke and is being led to the holding room.
Tracy Taylor is the name of the latest victim, and she’s ripe for purification. Her rap sheet includes prostitution, but her parole officer says she was turning her life around. Booth should be on board for this, right? No, this Booth is seven months older and no longer has time for rehabilitation stories. Also, Tracy went to the same NA meetings as Saltz, so now Booth has got a bug up his butt about him again. But it turns out Tracy was trying to get Saltz to use again.
But wait! That driver Barnes sent all of the flowers to for his funeral was Kyle Martin, who died of a drug overdose. And maybe Barnes supplied him with said drugs. And who was Kyle’s mom? Well, her last name is Flender. Does that name ring any bells? She was Flender’s sister. Kyle was his nephew.
So, they’ve finally figured it out about Flender’s messiah complex and how the people he killed were the ones who tried to lead his little goslings down the wrong path. It turns out all of the victims had the Masonic mark for deity.
I’m serious. It’s down to the wire. Rockwell is in the chamber all strapped down. Will he be saved??? I’m on the edge of my seat.
So, the mark was made with a Masonic compass. Flender, who’s come across as Mr. Nice Guy is all of a sudden Mr. Smarmy as they look for evidence in his house. Once Booth finds out the whole Masonic connection and remembers they’re builders, he notices a brick wall and figures the evidence is behind there. Yeah, that’s a big leap, but let’s go with it. Rockwell has less than fifteen minutes.
They must not be very good builders, because Booth is pulling out the bricks with no effort at all. And nobody is helping him do it, as Aubrey and Caroline just stand there with their mouths open. There’s a houseful of people, and he calls over nobody. Like he has all of the time in the world. Fortunately he only had to remove a few before he reaches in and finds the knife and the compass, so all is well.
Flender talks about his suffering, his death, and his resurrection as I pat myself on the back for seeing through his sanctimonious crap the first go-round. This makes way more sense than a criminal just suddenly becoming a ritualistic serial killer.
Judge Linda calls it in with less than a minute to go. Also, Booth no longer believes in the death penalty.
It seems this is the night for everyone to remember in what field they work. How many years has it been? So now Angela wants to move to Paris, because she just remembered B&B’s house was shot up. And all of that icky death stuff they see every day. Never mind that Hodgins is still giddy and excited every time he pulls bugs off a body.
But Hodgins comes to Angela at the end saying she was thinking too small. Now that he’s got his riches back, they should live in a mansion or something. I can kinda buy Angela wanting this, because she’s an artist, but it doesn’t seem like Hodgins’ bag. What’s going on here?
And so our two-hour extravaganza comes to an end with nary a mention of Booth’s gambling. I’m sure this reprieve is short-lived.