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Tonight’s TV Addictions: March 12, 2009

WHAT WE’RE WATCHING:
UGLY BETTY (8PM ABC, City in Canada)
Wilhelmina headed for the poor house? Who wouldn’t tune in to see that! As an added bonus, Christine Baranski guests as Matt’s mom, and Hilda goes on a date with Ralph Macchio. It’s almost TOO much goodness!

SMALLVILLE (8PM CW)
Remember when Tori Spelling was nice-girl Donna? Well not any more! As reporter Linda Lake, she’s blackmailing Clark in an attempt to regain her journalistic mojo. “Frak that!” says Clark, who instead outs himself to Lois!

GREY’S ANATOMY (9PM ABC, CTV in Canada)
After finally realizing that a whole hell of a lot of his patients wind up biting the dust, Derek decides to quit. Frankly, that makes sense to us. I mean, once they stop calling you McDreamy and start calling you Doctor Death, it’s all over but the singing.

THE OFFICE (9PM NBC, Global in Canada)
Michael’s latest scheme involves placing “Golden Tickets” — ala Willy Wonka — inside paper packages. Anyone else suspect this won’t end well? Meanwhile, Kevin’s out to woo a woman, so his co-workers offer him some advice. Um… anyone else suspect this won’t end well, either?

SUPERNATURAL (9PM CW)
Baby, don’t fear the reaper. Especially now that all the reapers have gone missing, allowing people to literally cheat death! Sam and Dean journey to the netherworld (insert spooky sounds here) to find out what the heck’s going on.

30 ROCK (9:30PM NBC, City in Canada)
Liz has jury duty, which means the staff of TGS has no babysitter. Wacky chaos ensues.

PRIVATE PRACTICE (10PM ABC)
Pete and Sheldon want Violet to take a paternity test. And who can blame them? Meanwhile, Sam commits the ultimate boyfriend sin when he calls his current girlfriend by his ex-wife’s name… while in bed. Yeah, that’s bad.

ER (10PM ABC, E! in Canada)
Thanks to a cavalcade of original series stars including Eriq La Salle, Julianne Marguilies and he-who-shall-not-be-named returning to Country General tonight, we officially give-in! Seriously NBC, you win. We’re back on the ER bandwagon.


NEW & NOTABLE:
SURVIVOR (8PM CBS, Global in Canada)
I always said that sooner or later, someone on this show is gonna just flat-out die. And tonight… okay, fine, nobody dies, but someone loses a tooth during an immunity challenge. That’s, um, practically the same thing. It’s a slippery slope, people!

BONES (8PM FOX)
The team is working with a serious deadline thanks to the fact that the bones of a victim are rapidly disintegrating. But hey, the guy was a sleezy used car salesman, so… no hurry.

KATH & KIM (8PM FOX)
Not that you people care, but tonight’s season finale will probably be the final episode of this underappreciated show. Don’t be surprised if I pout for a while

CSI (9PM CBS, 8PM CTV in Canada)
Ray and Riley are taken hostage. Grissom is still gone. Hey, maybe the CSI team should go figure out who murdered THE L WORD’s Jenny.

HELL’S KITCHEN (9PM FOX, 10PM City in Canada)
The would-be chefs prepare food for a Bar Mitzvah. Oy vey!

THE 11TH HOUR (10PM CBS)
It’s murder on the runway when seemingly ordinary folks go nuts during fashion week. Quick, someone call Tim Gunn!

ACE OF CAKES (10PM FOOD Network)
Okay, now this is just too cool: The team creates a cake that looks like a haunted chapel, complete with zombie bride and groom! I wanna go to that wedding!

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