Although this TV Addict is the first to admit that we’ve taken more than our fair share of shots at SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE over the years, the generally uneven NBC late night institution does excel at one thing: Acting as a barometer for whether or not the particular week’s host (aka. Hollywood’s current “It” Boy or Girl) has what it takes to make it in this crazy business we like to call show. So just how did GOSSIP GIRL’s Blake Lively stack up? Find out for yourself after the jump.
• After an all too predictable cold open featuring the Salahi party-crashers, SNL doesn’t do itself any favors by surrounding Blake Lively with a group of freakishly old Muppets and singing a song (A song which in SNL opening-monologue speak is code for we really have no idea what to do with this host!) Subtract 10 points.
• Good News: Lively counteracts a weak opening with a dress so hot we’re fairly confident has Dan Humphrey second-guessing his decision to dump Serena. Add 40 points.
• Donning “Mom Jeans” in what we can only imagine is an homage to the hilarious Rachel Dratch faux commercial from season’s prior (Moment of silence for Rachel Dratch’s career), Lively gets 15 points for showing that she’s cool with not looking like a super-model for five minutes.
• Lively nabs 5 points for playing the scorned soon-to-be-ex-wife of Tiger Woods. Meanwhile, we breath a sigh of relief that Fred Armisen wasn’t cast as Tiger.
• In the obligatory GOSSIP GIRL parody, we award Lively 10 points for the Staten Island accent, even if we didn’t find the sketch particularly funny and was surprised that SNL completely missed the boat by neglecting to tie-in the predictable parody to one of the week’s big newsmakers, MTV’s latest reality TV train-wreck known as JERSEY SHORE.
• Although not her fault, Lively gets 0 points for playing the daughter to Keenan Thompson in drag. Seriously SNL, first you rerun your “Swine Flu” commercial at the beginning of the show and then essentially replicate a sketch from last season which featured Scarlett Johansson. Is coming up with an hour of original comedy twenty-two weeks a year really that hard…
• …Turns out it is, as evidence by this incredibly unfunny sketch that gave TO CATCH A PREDATOR’s Chris Hansen his own talk show. That said, we’ll match Lively’s half a minute of screen time playing Cher with .5 points.
• Doing her best ‘Nikki from BIG LOVE’ impersonation, we award Lively 15 points for not only enduring surviving one of the most bizarre sketches in recent SNL memory. But for not laughing/crying/puking while doing so.
• Capping off the night, the adorable Lively gets 5 points for thanking GOSSIP GIRL showrunners Stephanie Savage and Josh Schwartz for giving her the week off to host SNL. Classy.
Career Prognostication: Scoring a solid 80.5 out of a possible 100 points, Lively may not have set Studio 8H on fire, but she did prove that she’s game for anything and may in fact — if given the right opportunity — have what it takes to be the next Cameron Diaz (Think: Something About Mary)
Tune in next week when we find out if Taylor Lautner is more than a six pack.