It’s Official: Anything, and we mean anything you can do Tina Fey can do better.
Nastiest Contract: Folks appearing on the JERSEY SHORE must sign papers clearing the producers of any responsibility for sexually-transmitted diseases they might incur while filming. Wonder if that makes Snooki’s pregnancy null and void?
Biggest Reason To Shout Yee-haw!: Early in its summer run, TNT’s DALLAS earned a 2013 renewal order. Somewhere, Miss Ellie is smiling.
This Week in Making Us Feel Better About Our Addiction to Television Comes…: The 4,000 men whose obsession with MY LITTLE PONY saw them convene at BronyCon.
Most Inconsequential Cast Shakeup: Justin Deeley is poised to exit 90210. We’ll give you a moment to look him up on Google.
Most Unintentionally Funny Programming: The struggling Oprah Winfrey Network announced that on July 15, they’ll be airing a special called “Oprah Builds A Network.” Presumably, it’s a “what not to do” vid.
Most Glaring Plot Hole: THE NEWSROOM’s Mackenzie McHale is an award-winning journalist who has made a name for herself reporting news across the globe… yet she doesn’t know how to properly send an email? Alrighty Then.
Best As-Yet-Unsold Concept: Please, please, please, hear my cry. Someone out there needs to pick up the unsold-as-yet reality show STRIP CLUB QUEENS, featuring D.C. exotic dancers. We’ll not only watch, we’ll slip a dollar in your G-string.
Silliest Idea: Perpetual schlockmeister Donald Trump is reported rolling out an all-star version of CELEBRITY APPRENTICE featuring past bold-name players.
Best Summer Programming: The Travel Channel this weekend will roll out two new shows, INSANE COASTER WARS and XTREME WATERPARKS. We’ll be there with, respectively, a barf bag and our mankinis!
Quickest Turnabout: The day after Deadline reported that HBO was making a movie about Fox News head Roger Ailes — slated to be produced by MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough and Mika Brezinsky of MORNING JOE — came word that the project had been scuttled. Why? HBO’s connection to CNN would, they said, make it impossible for the film to be “seen as objective.”
Twist We’ll Pay Not To See: CBS says that four past contestants will be returning to the BIG BROTHER house this season. Look, we already know we’re going to continue suffering the “hosting” abilities of the Chenbot. If Rachel and/or Brendan walk in, we’ll be tuning out. You’ve been warned.
Smartest Move: Proving you can teach an old-skewing dog new tricks, CBS decided that rather than continuing to rely on reruns and BIG BROTHER, next summer they’ll air 13 new episodes of the newly un-canceled UNFORGETTABLE.
Silliest Denial: No matter how much the folks behind POLITICAL ANIMALS insist it’s not true, Sigourney Weaver’s alter ego — a former Democratic First Lady who becomes Secretary of State — is clearly based on Hilary Clinton.
Least Impressive Change: After months of talk that sudser GENERAL HOSPITAL would get a new opening credit sequence, they rolled out one featuring music that was as cheesy as the graphics and the same staged publicity shots of their actors that have been promoting the show for years.
Doggone it! BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT winner Pudsey the dog is being paid 350,000 pounds for an, er, autobidography. Not being paid 350,000 is your very own TV Addict’s trusty sidekick who we probably should have allowed to spend her formative years doing this! 
